Samuel

Today has been hell. Let me tell you the amount of paperwork it takes to be legal in South Carolina.

Here's the law. It's rather simple...until you find out things change damned fast when you're dealing with PEOPLE!!!!!

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SECTION 501620. Importation of wildlife for certain purposes prohibited; investigation; permit.



(A) It is unlawful for a person to import, possess, or transport for the purpose of release or to introduce or bring into this State any live wildlife of the following types without a permit from the department:

(1) a furbearer, a member of the family Cervidae, a nondomestic member of the families Suidae (pigs), Tayassuidae (peccaries), Bovidae (bison, mountain goat, mountain sheep), coyote, bear, or turkey (genus Meleagris). Furbearer includes, but is not limited to, red and gray fox, raccoon, opossum, muskrat, mink, skunk, otter, bobcat, weasel, and beaver;

(2) a species of marine or estuarine fish, crustacean, mollusk, or other marine invertebrate not already found in the wild, or not native to this State.

(3) a species of freshwater fish, crustacean, mollusk, or other freshwater invertebrate not already found in the wild or not native to this State.

(B) A permit may be granted only after the investigations and inspections of the wildlife have been made as the department considers necessary and the department approves the possession, transportation, or importation into the State. The department may not issue a permit unless it finds:

(1) the wildlife was taken lawfully in the jurisdiction in which it originated;

(2) the importation, release, or possession of the wildlife is not reasonably expected to adversely impact the natural resources of the State or its wildlife populations.

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That's it in a nutshell. That's all the fuckin' laws on the books for importing wildlife into the state of South Carolina.
 
So, what I take from this is....Samuel can live with us IF:
 
A) He was taken from Las Vegas legally, which he was...
B) He can live with us as long as we have a permit...which he will have just as soon as I can get the right fucker on the line...
C) He has ample space for his needs. He's got twenty five acres here...if that's not enough, he's up shit creek. He wasn't afforded that much in Las Vegas, so he should be happy.
 
Now, here's the way this has went.
 
We brought Samuel home. Gypsy and he get along great and together, they sleep and play. She's shown him who is boss and he's thinking she's a pretty good playmate.
 
Now, here's the deal. Sam's got his Cat Chow dish and Gyp's got her dish. She eats Gravy Train out of the can, so she's happy he's getting stuck with the dry and leaves it alone.
 
Together, they share a water dish which is hooked to the water line behind the refrigerator so it refills itself.
 
First of all, I called the Fish & Wildlife people. They had no fuckin' clue where to tell me to go for a permit.
They asked me if I was running a zoo. I told them I only had Samuel and Gypsy. I told them Sam is a snow leopard and Gypsy is a cocker spaniel. They told me they'd call me back.
 
I called the local conservation people. They told me it was a Fish & Wildlife permit but had no idea what the requirements were. I told them the state law reads Sam has to have vet paperwork...which he does...and has to have their permit.
The guy offered to come inspect Sam. He rolled up and when he came in, Sam sniffed the guy and got the hell out of the room. The guy said, "He seems like a normal house cat!"
I said, "Well, he needs to be deemed healthy, so I'll go get him."
The guy said, "No, that's ok, my inspection is done." And left.
 

Now, I'm sorry, but Sam never stuck around. The guy never inspected him and that's the total of time the guy was there. He saw the cat and he was satisfied he was alive and healthy.
 
Later, I got a call from the guy. He's found the permit paper and is going to get me a permit. They cost nothing and have no renewal.
 
In the State of Missouri, it's even stupider...is that a word???...Here's what I mean...
In Missouri, do you know what the requirements are for you to own a wild animal? Nothing. You have to have the title to the animal. That's it. If you don't have the title stating the animal is yours, you can't have it.
 
There are no requirements stating anything about the animal's welfare, and there's nothing about the vet requirements, all you have to have is a title.
 
Now, here's what irks the shit out of me.... there are more requirements for burying a dead animal than there are for keeping it alive and healthy. In South Carolina, the animal has to be buried in a "state approved" facility. In Missouri, the dead animal is deemed to be toxic waste and needs to be incinerated or cremated. That's damned dumb but I just bet you if Sam dies, his ass is going to be at a taxidermist getting stuffed so he's around for a far site longer than what they'd like!
 
What's cool is Sam's getting his little ass walked off whether he likes it or not. The boy's have deemed him a "chick magnet" and he's getting walks....a lot. And yes, Gypsy is getting walked too.
 
Just the same, now you know what is going on at our house.