Fallen - Chapter 004

Chapter Four:




We walked in and Elton was working on the piano.



“Where's Anna?”



“She's up in the booth.”



“Oh! We need my laptop, I'm teaching him how to cook.”



He smiled, “Teach me!”



“You've got a cook!”



He laughed, “I wouldn't need one if I knew how to cook!”



“Yes you would! With the dinner parties you throw, you'd be a lunatic if you didn't have one! Did I show you guys my house in South Carolina?”



“No.”



“Oh man, I gotta show you guys. I spent some money on that one, but I'm really proud of it.”



I opened the pictures and said, “There she is.”



Elton and Clive looked at it and Clive said, “Man, that's nice!”



“It's nicer than the pictures and it's the first house I've owned where I feel right walking into it and just not worrying to get out of my pajamas all day long, or whatever. I can come in from the beach and have sand on me and it's like, “Oh well!”



They went through the pictures and I said, “Look out there. See that?!”



“Are those soldiers?” Clive asked



“They're Marines! That's Paris Island. You don't see them, but I've got binoculars up there in my office. Them hunky dudes run by and it's like I'm a bird dog on point. I nearly tear my nose off looking through them so fast!”



El laughed, “I'd probably be doing it too.”



“See that big place down there?”



They said, “Yeah”



“That's Arnold Palmer's mansion. I drive by it to get to mine and it's just amazing close up.”



“Yours looks like it has quite a bit of land.”



“It does, but it doesn't. There's twenty five acres there, but what I thought when they sold it to me was the neighbor's goes all the way out to there, but it doesn't. That' protected wetland and they can only go out in their backyard so far before they're on it.

On the other side of my place is the back side of the country club grounds, so no one's building there. Plus, it's an easy walk for Jessie, or a golf cart ride, but he usually drives my Rolls.”



“What's that roof there?”



“That's my little gardening shed. What's cool about it is the windows in it are put just perfect I can put a couple of cake pans in there with saran wrap over them and start my seeds for my kitchen garden.

As you can see, all those plants there are my herbs. And yes, Clive, you can grow your own fennel, rosemary, and sage out there and fresh sage is about ten times more flavorful than the dried. What's neat about rosemary or fennel is it's on long sprigs and if you strip off some of them, you can use the twig as a skewer and put your chicken breast on there and it flavors it all the way through!”



“Your kitchen is beautiful!”



“See that big stove! It hardly gets used. Underneath there is the George Foreman and my rotisserie...speaking of which, let's see if we can find you one on ebay.”



We went over to ebay and I went on. “As you can see, I've bought quite a bit on there!”



“Are those sales?”



“Yeah, I buy Gypsy's flea stuff on there because it's A LOT cheaper. At the vet, it's like fifteen dollars a dose, but on ebay, it's four for fifteen.”



“That is cheap!”



“I use that good stuff and not the cheap. We've got sand fleas and she doesn't get bothered. For some reason Brad doesn't get them.”



“Brad?”



“Brad Pittbull. I can say I sleep with Brad Pitt every night since I named him that!”



He laughed and Elton said, “I should've thought of that!”



“There you go, there's a West Bend Rotisserie like mine. It's at a dollar twenty five and goes off tomorrow.”



“What's the shipping?”



“Let's see. It's twelve dollars. Let me see if I can find that one which has the pan in the top. It's a lot more convenient.”



We looked and I said, “Look there...Brand new in box for three dollars. It comes off in an hour and has no bidders. The shipping is twelve on it too!”



“So you're saying I could buy one of those and for fifteen dollars make my own!”



“Yeah”



“I pay nine bucks for one chicken done like that! Let's get it!”



“Ok, we've got to put the bid on it and when the auction ends in an hour, all we do is we pay through PayPal with credit card and they'll ship it. The advantage of it is with PayPal, I can pay for it and tell them to ship it to your address and it'll be there probably by Saturday or early next week.”



Elton looked and said, “This is pretty neat. I've heard of ebay.”



“They've got an eBay in England too. Let me show you how you find them all over the place. You go out to the front page and down at the bottom, they've got all of them at the bottom.

Now Clive, here's a trick. If you go to the Canada one, you can look on there and get them cheaper. If you pay on PayPal, it's done right there and because they've got good rates to the U.S., we don't pay more.”



“Cool!”



“I buy computer parts up there. There's a guy who has them real reasonable.”



“You've bought a lot of computers on there!”



“Yeah, that's all I've bought. Let me tell you something. That Dell server there looks terrible, but it's one of the fastest computers you can have and they NEVER go for more that a hundred and nine dollars. All a server is, is an industrial computer, so it's built better and it's got multiple processors and heavier fans so you get optimal.”



“There's one for nine dollars!”



“Yeah, it's here in the city too!”



“What are those?”



“Those are the hard drives. Normally, in your computer they're inside. With these, you can take them out and put them in.

Let's say you want all your information on for Mariah, but you don't want anyone else to see it or even think about accessing it. You pull it out and it can go over in a stack or it can go in your briefcase with you.”



“That's pretty neat!”



“I tell people about servers because of how cheap they are and how heavy duty they are. That one there is always about nine dollars. The shipping is fifty bucks, but I'll tell you that one is a really good deal also. It holds four hard drives and you can put a better graphics and sound card in and you're running a lot of high tech games and not ever slowing down.

Let me show you my television control for my jumbotron.”



I pulled up the server I built and said, “That's it. It's a computer and all I did was put in a television card and hooked it to the jumbotron. It's got a real good sound card built in, so I hooked it to the stereo and now, Jess and I play Wii like we're there.”



“Do you like having a jumbo in your house as a television?”



“It's really cool. It's like being at the movie theater, but it's not as sharp as my Vizios.”



“What's a Vizio?”



“Let me show you. It's a HDTV Plasma television. We went and shopped them and the clarity of them were amazing. They looked the most real out of all of them. So, I bought four of them. Two of them are in my office, one is in the bedroom, and the other is down in that den. Jess usually watched on the jumbo in the basement because that's where we've got the popcorn wagon, the cotton candy machine, and the soda fountain. The pool table is there and because he has his video games all on the Wii, he's playing there a lot.

What I like about him being down there is we have a system of where I put the alarm on in the house and he can be there with the guys he is friends with from the club. They've got what they need down there, but the moment they attempt to go upstairs, the alarm kicks and my phone tells me.”



“Why do you set the alarm?”



“He lives in the apartment above the garage. We made the basement so he can use it and that's fine, but he alone is allowed to go upstairs and no one else in the main house. He's good about it and usually, he's out in the garage so it's not a problem.

I'll tell you he loves it because he's one of those guys which came with a lot of things. Because I've got the International and it can't fit in there, his Jeep goes in and my Rolls. He's got dirt bikes and he's got a wave runner, but we found the wave runner can go in the golf cart garage with it and it's not tight. We tried putting his dirt bikes and the wave runner in the golf cart garage and put the golf cart in the big garage, but his jeep is short, but it's like six inches too long to shut the door, so it goes the other way.”



“Why do you do it all that way?”



“My house has a panic alarm system. El can tell you when the house goes in panic mode, it's scary because all the windows have shutters shutting the doors have shutters shutting, the garage doors and everything shuts and my front gate shuts. None of it opens without the pass code punched and someone speaking to the alarm company, so everything has to have the ability to be shut.

What's good is I can be up here and if I see there's a hurricane coming, I can go into my phone and shut the house down and know it's not going to be damaged.”



“That's neat!”



“I updated the alarm system and the shutters because when they put the jumbo in, they had to make a hole in the basement wall.

You might or might not know when you live on the coast in a hurricane zone, you want water proof doors and those tested and proven otherwise they can say they're 'weatherproof' but that's not 'waterproof'.

What we did was we went with the highest gauge steel French doors down there and we have them waterproof. Up above, we put a garage storm door which rolls down and keeps the windows from getting shattered from flying things, or gators.”



“Huh?!”



“Gator as in Alligator”



“You've got them?”



“I've not seen any, but I've heard we don't usually get them up where we are. I do know I had a friend whose wife went through a hurricane in her house and it was torn up! But, what was bad is she's thinking she's safe and suddenly a gator comes across and got blown into her French doors broadside, so all of a sudden the winds are a hundred and forty miles and hour and a six hundred pound gator the size of a tree trunk is getting blown into the doors and the only thing stopping it from coming in is those doors. They made it through the hurricane, but they moved back North due to her nerves afterward.”



Clive laughed, “I'd say!”



“I'll tell you what I've heard we've got is some snakes out in that marsh grass. I don't know, but I've not seen any. But, then again, I'll tell you my landscaper knowledge tells me my place was really designed good. I do know I helped that NASCAR Jarret guy put up a fence over at his place and he would've really messed up.”



“Why? Or How?”



“Ok, you look at a chain link fence and you think it's the most secure fence ever, right?”



“Yeah.”



“Now, where you run into a problem in a hurricane or snow zone isn't the fence, but what blows into it. Look at all the vegetation around my place and you see lots of things which can blow into it. Suddenly, it's clogged and that weight is only held to those posts by a few twisted wires. When it goes, it sounds like a machine gun or a fat man sitting and his buttons popping off his shirt.

Now what you've got is a fifty foot long four foot high battering ram or missile which is going to hit things, tear vegetation and trees down, and send more things flying.

What he was going to do was put the fence up without any protection. I went over and I had to tell him, “Hey, you need to do this better because you're probably going to kill someone if you don't. When I showed him on the internet what that stuff does, he was blown away. So, what we did was we dug a trench and we sunk it so the bottom is down in the trench and it's now filled with concrete. It's solid, not going anywhere except laying down and no one's going to suffer for his installation.”



“That was good!”



“What's bad is you don't know how vicious home owner's insurance is. Down there, you can have a wonderful ten million dollar house and everything's great, but install a window wrong, or a fence wrong and that home owner's insurance will fight you ever step of the way in paying.

That's what happened down in New Orleans. You had home owner's insurance selling policies over a phone never coming to look at a house. They'd ask the number of corners on a house and the number of windows and then, they'd tell you, “Oh, your house is worth x, you pay this amount.”

When I went to get home owner's for mine in Hannibal, they told me I couldn't possibly have that many corners. I told them it was a Victorian and there were that many corners, so they came up with a figure and told me my house was worth something like two million dollars.

Well, it might be in San Francisco, but in Hannibal, that house isn't worth that! I'll tell you no insurance company is going to walk up to you and say, “Oh, you paid a hundred and sixty five thousand for this house and you put two million worth of insurance on it, and it got blown away, this is your lucky day!”



He laughed and I said, “He'll tell you it's a hundred and sixty five thousand dollar house and you've got x amount of things in it, and you're getting a prorated deduction of y and you're now getting a check of z and if you don't take it, adios, they'll see you when you cave or they'll ride you down until you don't get anything.

There's a man I know down there who's been sitting since Katrina. He had three hundred thousand insurance on a thirty thousand dollar house with bad windows and no shutters. He had something like fourteen thousand worth of furnishings and I think he rounded up high there...real high. But, they came by and offered him twenty two thousand and he said no. So, he's still sitting there living in a dinky assed trailer when he could've walked with something.”



“But he had a thirty thousand dollar house!”



“Yeah, with hundred year old windows in it. You're correct, the flood surge through the wall took his house, but there was a lot done with bad things with the house which took him down.

I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm for the insurance companies here, but take a look at your house like a car. If you've got a Chevy, you've got a Chevy. Call it a Chevy and get Chevy insurance for it. Don't think if you get a Ferrari policy you're getting the Chevy replaced with a Ferrari. Also, be realistic. If your Chevy has some dents, dings, hail damage, and duct tape holding on a tail light you're going to get a new Chevy. They're going to look at the old beater you have and pay you what they think that old beater is worth!”



He laughed, “I see what you mean.”



“Now, I'm going to be rotten here, but that man I know had a friggin' old Massey Harris tractor with no headlight, busted out grill and a flat tire and he's thinking because he bought Testarossa insurance, he'd get a Testarossa!

They offered him money for a used Farmall and he should've taken it, but he thinks he'll sit there and they'll bring the Ferrari delivery truck down the street some day and pay on that three hundred thousand policy. I'll be damned surprised if it happens, but I tend to believe you and I will see him fifteen years from now sitting in a little dinky trailer still holding out for the dream.”



“Do you think that's what happened down there?”



“No, what I hear happened down there is poverty. People didn't have house insurance at all and they took the money and ran.”



Anna came down and hugged me, “Thank you.”



“For what?”



“For being honest and realistic. You know human nature and you know what I know coming from a poor area of the country how the poor are.”



“Do you know what bothers me about down there?”



“What's that?”



“Did you see what Brad Pitt did? I love the guy for what he did, but why he did what he did just slaps the shit out of me!”



“What'd he do?”



“Ok, you know and I know the ones who had gumption got back in there and worked to resurrect what they had and they are back there. Yeah, there are some poor people who were wiped out, went back and tried to get what they had back and got told, “Sorry, it's too far gone and we've got to tear it down.”

First of all, I gotta love him for going in and wanting to donate his money to help. He did it right and he bought homes whereas he didn't hand out to people, but if you look at what's happened, you gotta shake your head and just chuckle.”



El asked, “Why?”



“Ok, he had three hundred homes in boxes delivered. They're like jigsaw puzzles and you insert tab a into slot b and you get a house. He told them, “There they are, take one and put it up and you can have it. Do you know how many of them have gotten put up out of three hundred?”



Anna turned, “How many? Five?”



“Two. It's human nature. They want someone to come in and give them the money so they can run off, or they want someone to come in and build that house and tell them to move into it.

Now, personally, I'm not wild about the houses he picked, but for a free house, I'd put up with lime green and yellow and smile like a pudding pop kid after I got it put up. It's free and that's what matters! But, he spent a lot of money on an experiment as I see it, and he learned.”



She said, “What I don't like about it is everyone's so focused upon New Orleans they forgot all the rest! If you ask people, they think only New Orleans got hit and everyone else is still living!”



“I understand. It's bad because it's like Camille all over again.”



She smiled, “What do you know about Camille?!”



“Hon, I saw pictures of the devastation and how it looked ten and twenty years later. Nothing got rebuilt and when they started putting it back, this happened, so it'll probably be another twenty five years before someone else tries again.”



“You're probably right.”



El said, “I'm going back to my hotel. Here is Jaymes' Dad's autograph. Tell him I don't normally do those, so he's got a rarity.”



I hugged him and said, “If I don't see you before we see each other out in Kansas City, please be safe.”



He smiled, “You tell that other boyfriend of yours I want to meet him!”



“I'll do that!”



We saw him to the door and helped bundle him up. I went with him to the car and said, “El, thank you so much.”



“Hon, I love you. You better know that!”



“As I do you. We're back on the same page.”



“You know, you have a real good ability to write songs. You ought to work on it and do some original works.”



“It's strange. If I needed to write a song for you, I probably could do it. For me, nope.”



He laughed, “Write them for me. I need some hits and that one you've got for her will be something she'll treasure.”



I put him in his limo and hugged him again, shut the door, and walked up.



“He loves you. You know that?”



“As I do him.”



“No, there was something there once. He was attracted more than that.”



“Really?”



“But you were flitting from one to another and never noticed.”



“It wasn't meant to be.” In the back of my mind, I thought, there's a song!



She smiled, “He thinks that song you wrote for me is going to be a hit.”



“What's Clive think?”



“Let's go see!”



We went in and Clive was sitting at the piano reading the song, “This is your song?”



“It's her song.”



“I mean, you wrote it?”



“For her.”



“This is good!”



I looked at Anna, “Did you polish it?”



“No, he wrote the music and it's real good.”



“Do you have a tape of it?”



“Yeah.”



“Could I hear it?”



“Sure.”



She went up to the booth and put it on. I said, “You might loop it!”



We listened to the music and when it went into loop, she began singing. I went over with Clive and said, “It's good she's able to memorize words so well.” We read along and when we got to the end, I said to him, “Would you see if the Tom Tom Club is available for the tour?”



“Why?”



“I really like their sound. It's different and what I think they need is a bigger break.”



“I don't think I've heard them.”



“Their music has a real heavy back beat. This song here sure could use some.”



She walked over and smiled, “What are you guys talking about?!”



Clive looked up, “Do you have any Tom Tom club up there?”



“Sure! You've probably heard it and not recognized it. Let me go put it on!”



She went and he said, “I'll tell you, everything she listens to is really good.”



“A lot of this new music is really terrible, but they've been around a while.”



The music came on and he said, “Oh! I've heard this!”



“It's lower key to her but they're good enough to be on the tour.”



He nodded, “I thought about them as one but I couldn't remember the name.”



“Put them on and let me pick ten songs which are older and I'll put together an album for you. Whatever you do, I want Mariah in that studio.”



“She'll be there. I'm cutting your story and letting her hear it.” He pointed and said, “Your mic is live.”



“Ok, if she can handle hearing that without falling asleep, then you've done something.”


“I think she's better, but I want her to hear you've got a lot of the same things she's had.”



“I don't mean to condemn her, but I say the same thing about Britney. She's better now too, but with Madge, I don't like how she's better.”



“What are you thinking with her?”



“She's showing herself to be hard. It's like, “Oh! I don't like him no more. I just married him and had his kid, but it's over, so I'm going to go right over to ARod. She needs to show some sadness or something...she's not a machine.”



“She's got the Garbo complex. She's thinking she'll tough it through. What you don't know is they didn't sleep together for a long while.”



“So? What was the deal? She puts him out of her bed, so she has to be the iron maiden?”



“Ooh.” He said giving me the raised eyebrow.



“You know, I love her, but I'm mainstream America here and if I'm thinking it, they're thinking it and I'll tell you she needs to show some emotion. I don't care if it's fake, she needs to show it.”



“You need to speak with her.”



“When I do, it will end our friendship.”



“She needs to know what your opinion is.”



“Tomorrow. I've got to go to bed.”



“I'm about to leave. I'll call you.”



“I appreciate it.”



I walked out to his limo. He said, “You know that ring gives you a lot more consideration by me.”



“Don't. I know why Gino did it and it was more aimed at keeping me alive than it was to give me power. He knew Dave wouldn't be apt to kill me, or have me killed, if I held the power.



“You do. That's what gives you the consideration.”



“But did you give me consideration when you knew I didn't wear it? Did El, or Anna? Madge knows I've got it and it doesn't matter to her. I get treated like a little brother anyway.

Yeah, it's a powerful ring, but the true power lies in what you do and what people think, than what is in this piece of metal. Give Dave his respect, but treat me ordinary.”



“What do you get with it?”



“Nothing! Dave now knows I loved his Dad. When Gino was dying, they spent six months together daily...well hourly, and in that time, Gino told him what he felt for me and why he couldn't lay down the power.

I'll tell you I've got the ring, but Dave also knows I did what his Dad didn't do. I put down the power and handed it him which is what Gino should've done.

Gino thought it would decrease his respect. I'll tell you Dave still loves his Dad although he knows and I'll tell you he still loves his sister up here even though I owe the bitch nothing.”



“Who is she?”



“Fuck, some billionaire's wife. They have no kids because it would've ruined her figure and social life. The man wants kids and got one because as cold as the bitch is in heart, she is in bed and he scores more often with his secretary than he ever did with her. The secretary gave him a son.”



“Maan!” he said smiling.



“Yeah, if you heard anger there, you ought've. I know Gino begged for her to come back to see him when he was dying and she didn't. The man gave her a fucking fortune to come up here and start her business and is there a clothing line with her name on it? No. Is there anything with his family's name on it? No. She's managed to blow that fortune and chooses to wear what people died for, and what blood was shed, to earn.

If you see me giving one fuck about anything, it's what she's done to her family's name. He built it up and the fuckin' cunt has balls to want to say it's old money from Italy! That money didn't come from Italy, it came from street corners here where her grandpa threw dice and the street venders in Kansas City which sold the man's goods when he got there and built it up.”



He smiled, “You sound closer to Gino than you do anyone!”



“I loved him. With him, I had a complete relationship for what possibility it held. I was the man's son, lover, confidant, and friend. I helped him when he needed it, and I learned a lot with him no one can take away.

Whenever you see me happy, you see me entertaining in the kitchen. That's what he gave me. When I'm moody, I go to the kitchen and I cook Italian he taught me. Yeah I make the sauce the same, but I'll be damned if I roll my own spaghetti!”



He laughed, “But I bet you could make it in your sleep!”



“I could and know those recipes by heart! I also know what to add to make a bad one good and what to do in order to keep a man happy in that manner. His mama taught me that!

I'll tell you my paternal grandmother and she were nearly identical except my paternal grandmother was a bitch. Gino's Mom taught me how to be classy and wield power, without getting caught up in it like the men do.

If you want to know why I'm not in it, you'll see I don't need to be. She taught me to check in, give Dave his props when I speak with him, but aim the arrows in the direction I want and he'll move Heaven and Hell to get me those results.”



“So! That's what you were doing!”



“Clive, all I had to do was tell that man I wanted an estate and now, he's going to get it for me. What I think and what you'll see is he'll be on that phone non-stop telling them up here I'm going to have a vacation place and that's it.

Then, he's going to get me that island because it's not here in the city which is smart. It's prime ground here with adds to the family's face value, and it keeps us in good standing because it's not in the city. However, if I'd wanted the apartment there, you would've seen me buy it and not giving a damn whether they liked it, or not!”



“What about Jaymes?”



“Dave knows my sense of family. For me to tell him Jaymes is like my own, it tells him he'll get that ring, but he best provide well for what I want Jaymes to have.”



“Why?”



“Look at my life. I can't have kids, I can't really adopt unless it's a farce, and it's not going to be a good part of my life if I did it.”



“Why?”



“I'm mobile. When I decide I want to move, I don't ask anyone. I move and then, I let people know I'm where I'm going to be when I'm there. No one gets the opportunity to talk me out of it and set shit in my mind to set me against it, and no one really has much of a say. I gave that power away once, but it's not happening again.”



“What about a namesake?”



“A namesake carries your name forward, that's all they do. I can be known through people's memories for what I do while I'm here. Now, would I love to see a little Rhette running around with the knobby knees and all too big eyes and mouth? Yeah, but I've got that already with my family's kids.”



“Let me think of things. Tonight has been a great changer for me.”



“Do what you need to do first. If you do that, you'll realize I'll still be there for you as a friend as long as you're good to my friends. Don't try to ingratiate yourself with me other than being a friend. Ok?”



He nodded, “Ok, I'll call you.”



“I appreciate it.”



I shut the door and went into the house. When I went in, Anna yelled, “Rhette!”



“Yeah hon.”



“I'm in the kitchen.”



I went back to the kitchen and sat on a stool at the bar. She smiled, “You probably can imagine what I'm going to ask.”



“I gave him the story of my life as best I could. He knows about this ring and it seems to be something he can't get past. I will tell you he's connected somehow, but you need to know I think he's now looking at the ring and thinking, “I've got to do something to make him happy.”



She smiled, “Clive's that way.”



“I made it better for you. I put him on warning your ass is to be kissed and you're to be kept happy and that's what matters to me.”



“El wants to speak with you privately. He said tonight wasn't it, but he wants to talk.”



“Can I give you odds on what it is?”



“Three guesses and I'll tell you if you're close.”



“He wants me to get Geo over here and he wants me to do a rescue.”



Her eyes lit up, “My God you're good!”



“He cares about his friends like I do. He sees his friend sinking and he knows by looking at Jaymes I can do something.”



“He told me he thought Jaymes was on something. I told him I knew you'd intervened. He asked me if I thought you could do something for Geo, but do you think you can?”



“First of all, I'm going to tell you when I go, I've got to go over there. I'm going to have to get him to come without ANYthing because the moment he thinks he's leaving the security blanket, he's going to take it with him and he'll get us caught up at the airport. You know as well as I do when that happens, it makes headlines and his ass gets locked away.”



“He's still got a place here.”



“No, let me get that island suitable to live in and then, we'll put him there. The trips late at night and the other forays he makes will stop.”



“He's a damned good songwriter. He thinks you two could make excellent music together.”



“We probably could. He's got to remember he's not likely to be more than a lounge act now. I love the dude, but I'll tell you I wouldn't put him in a hotel out in Vegas with my name attached to it.”



“That's pretty harsh.”



“He's fucked up and he had a second chance. You know and I know when the name isn't that big, they'll take someone else and make it that big instead of him. You also know the mega super sellers get those opportunities, but who's booking Whitney right now?

She dumped the bath water and everyone is still looking at the scum sticking to the side. She might, or might not be, out of it, but she'll still be associated with it until she gets another track record which proves she's not the source of that problem.”



She looked up, “You're harsher than you used to be.”



“Hon, here's the difference between me and Geo. This is really about him, but you know and I do, I've got to look at the industry and ask, “Ok, if I immerse myself in it, what sort of sharks am I swimming with? Who are the bottom feeders? Who are the whales? And, who are the ones which are going to feed off my leftovers?

He's out there like a blow fish except he's probably only a delicacy in Asia and that's probably the only place he could sell now.

I'll tell you he's in there with PeeWee Herman and that one Nashville kid in regards to bathroom jokes and what's worse is where PeeWee has the name and the words of the day are 'whack', 'jack', 'flog', and 'choking chicken', Geo has songs which are saying, “Wake him up before you go go', and which could mean number two, and 'Careless Whisper' which have titles just as bad for bathroom humor.”



She smiled



“But, fortunately, I'm older and there are things people could judge me on, but my attitude would certainly be the difference between a normal 'would be' star and Geo. If Geo had my attitude, you'd see me putting a press conference saying, “Yeah, it happened, now hand me those knee pads because there aren't any closet door knobs in there.”



She busted out laughing.



“What would you do if you had him to rescue?”



“First of all, I've got to get to know him better. I can't understand it because when the rumors came out about Ricky Martin, he hid them. Geo hasn't done that. But, you had Ike. I had Kevin. He had Andy. Brittney had Justin. And we all have that self destruct button when it comes to those people.

IF I do this album and I'll tell you I probably will because Clive now sees he's GOT to do it instead of might do it. You'll see me painting lines and you'll see me distancing myself from what I can and can't do.

With Geo, I'll be seen with him and hell, I'll even link my name to his romantically to give him that track record he needs.”



“Why?”



“Because he's a friend Anna! Friends like me come out of the woodwork when we're needed. Other friends, don't.”



“Are you upset because I didn't come when you were in the hospital?”



“No. Not at all.

If I'd called for you and you'd not come, I'd be entirely different. You weren't given an opportunity because when I'm down, I don't pull people in because at that moment, I know I'm shedding blood and sharks are circling.

You were safer out there away and really, there's nothing you could've done except draw attention and call in others which probably would've had that police chief up there finishing the job himself.”



“I don't want you upset with me about that.”



“Did you know?”



“No.”



“Then why would I be upset about it? Hon, those Angels who came were there and I count them in my most trusted.

You're still there and El is there and yet, others aren't there. The reason they're not there is because I now can sense they'd not be there for me when I'm down.

I'll tell you it's weird. El's shown he'll be there for people over and over and over and yet, with Geo, he's not. There's something going on there and I'd rather hear it from El why.”



She smirked and nodded, “I think there was an attraction and he was drawn away into the mist. El's got a safety net around him with those things, so he doesn't get involved.”



“Hon, I asked Clive to put the Tom Tom Club on as your warm up act. I don't know if he will, or even if they're available, but you should know why I'm not going to be that act.”



“I wondered why you and he asked to listen to them. I like their music. It's different.”



“It's far enough from yours they're entertaining and not going to detract or be compared to yours. You need a group like that to entertain the crowds.”



“I think he was planning on having me go out solo.”



“Don't let him do that. You know as well as I do it's about giving people their money's worth out there. It's been about that and I'll tell you it's about that more than ever.

Times are hard and when the NFL can't sell tickets during playoffs and when Broadway shows are shutting down due to ticket sales being down, we've got to have you realizing there might be nights when you look out there and there are empty seats.”



“I never thought about that!”



“It's not like it was. I'd rather you pay someone ten or twenty grand to have them splitting a bill with you and having those people deciding if your tickets are worth it, or going to a cheaper act.”



“I'll talk with him.”



“El's going out with Billy. It's a double billing.

I'll tell you 'the Boss' is going out and he's planning on going solo...so far. I'm willing to bet you either he'll reconsider, or he's going to face empty seats. BUT, what you need to know is you've got a following with the gays like you wouldn't believe. If you throw consideration to them like Cher, you'll be doing well for yourself.”



She smiled, “I already am thinking about it.”



“You know what I'm looking forward to with your show. That sax player is going to have to be equally as hot as he was the first time around. That package is going to have to give them reason to photograph and of course, your costuming is going to have to be exceptional.”



“What are you hearing about me being back out?”



“What I've heard is those in retirement which are coming out are doing it because they miss the fans attention instead of doing it for the money, or the glory. What I'm going to do is I'm going to help you out by telling you and telling Clive to get you on the promo circuit saying they're needing majors out there with drawing power to prop up the industry during the down time. And, like a good soldier, you're there.”



She smiled, “I'm there because of one thing only and that's my rights and royalties.”



“I know that.”



She looked down and asked, “I'm going to ask you a question out of the blue. I know you're good and I know there's a market for you, but who would you take out with you?”



I chuckled, “Hon, it's going to be a tour named Laughingstock instead of Woodstock...because I want to poke humor at it.

You know as well as I do the wheels turn slowly and you know as well as I do when they turn, we've got to look forward to where we're looking at the mid eighties era...because you were out there, Madge was out there, and you sure as hell ought to know Sting's going to be out there at some time. Bono and U2 will be going, so you're seeing the competition I'd face.

So, Let's say I get Geo resurrected. Let's say I get him on the gig with me. Ok, that's two sex offenders on the ticket. I figure while I'm at it I could throw Chuck Berry on the ticket and we'd have three bases loaded, so we might as well put PeeWee on it and just go for the home run.”



She laughed, “That's terrible!”



“It's me facing reality they're going to bring my past up. However, I'll tell you I'm like the old country stars with that prison rep and reason for being in there. I did my time and if they want to focus upon that in an interview, so be it. I'll be one who will tell kids to do what they can to stay out and then, I'm going to tell them there's success outside of prison afterwards and I don't need to rap to do it.

What you will see is me trying to get focus shifted. You should know I'll be the master of that game.”



“In what direction?”



“The mid eighties were about the AIDS epidemic and that scare. We've not beaten that motherfucker yet, and you should know it's going to be about the linkups with me. Back then, El linked up and brought focus to it. Dionne did. And, Gladys is definitely going to have me begging to link up with her.”



She smiled, “She'd love that.”



“Hon, let me tell you how I'm going to play this game.”



“Ok”



“Dolly had her man back home and I will also. She had him in seclusion and damn, I've already got a gated community about everywhere I live!”



She chuckled, “What if he doesn't want that?”



“Well, that's ok, he doesn't need to be real. I've got enough people out there to escort me to things I'll distract them and when doubt is there, I'll make a performance with Kylie, be seen with Madge, and then do a video with Snoop Dogg. It seems to work for those other guys.”



“Who did that?”



“Who's performed with Kylie? Damn, who hasn't!”



She laughed, “But why?”



“Ok, here's how the games played. It's like rehab for men when they're rumored to be gay. The rumor comes out and bam, they're on with Kylie. Justin did it. Ricky did it. And that other guy did it. It's that way.

Then, Ricky and Justin were seen with Madge and Justin went out doing his Frank Sinatra imitation with Snoop. Ricky, well, he pissed and moaned his way to Puerto Rico where he's now got his swimsuit pictures with his fella, so he's happy.

The other fella? Well, he couldn't get Madge, so he made a video in a dress singing about her. He's still around, but after that move, he's sort of locked.”



“What if Clive asks you to go out and be a RuPaul but sexier?”



“Huh?”



“I think he thinks you'd pass and could sell you that way. You could sing both and then, you could come out in a tux and perform also. That's what El's thinking.”



“Really?”



“That's what El's thinking. I can't tell you what's on Clive's mind. It might've been there, but I really think you might've blown that out of the water with showing him your ring.”



“Hon! Laughingstock would be the tour. We'd have no tickets sold and I doubt if we could get play in gay bars. It'd be hell on my hair and although I enjoy doing it, I'm doubtful it'd fly.

Suddenly, you'd have to take Chuck Berry off the ticket and put on Clay and then nightly, I'd not have to sing 'Man, I feel like a woman' but it'd go to 'Who's bed have your boots been under' and both of them would have to be out there with me pointing at the crowd.”



She laughed, “You're terrible! But I love it!”



“What you need to know is this...Hollywood would run from me. No one would want to be seen with me and any male star in that closet wouldn't dare be seen at the same hotel I was in.”



“You think it's that bad?”



“First of all, I'd be dissed because Diana Ross wouldn't come near me and even Michael had her on his side at one time!”



“Why would she dis you?”



“I wrote a story. Little did I know the character had an all too close familiarity to her son. I put it out and then, I got threatened with a lawsuit. I wrote back I was meaning no disrespect and then, thought about it to the point it pissed me off.

That's when I really came out swinging with the chapters and thought, “Woman, if you want to sue, then fuck you, I'll slap a disclaimer on it and dance around you like a boxer. I threw the chapters out there on the net and then put a notice telling everyone I've got more money, and more lawyers than she and if she wants to go there, she really needs to know just who the fuck I am because she doesn't want to dare piss me off.”



“What happened?”



“Well, I put them out there and then, I emailed her people and told them, “There they are. Find offense and then, get me the notoriety because the moment the suit hits, you'll hear from Vegas she's unable to book there ever again.”



“Oh!”



“It pissed me hon. She wants to scream rights to privacy when she's a star and then, she wants her son to have a career while threatening with suits. It wasn't about him to start off with, it was a fictional character.

What you need to know is these characters talk to me. I mean, when I write, it's like watching television. I see them, I get the dialogue, and then, I get their feelings. Their lives happen and I write them.

That character screamed at me, “My name is Evan. NOT Devan. Not Kevin...but Evan. I'm a light skin black guy and my Mom is a famous singer from the sixties. Don't write about her, but write about me. So, I did it. Little did I know she had a son named Evan.”



“Man!”



“Yeah, so I'm thinking, 'Ok, he's stopped talking to me. I'll put him on a shelf and I'll write chapters when he comes back. Next!”

So, I wrote about a kid who sings in a boy band. He was cool because in twelve days, I had twelve chapters and the story was done. I gave it to the people as the 'twelve chapters of Christmas' and yay, they liked it.

So far, no one has asked for a sequel there, but I've got one going.

What's neat is then, I got another character speaking with me about Valentine's Day which gave me an awesome story. There were off shoots which are there and they're good, but the readers loved that first one so much, they were pissed when they didn't see the second part being about those characters, so I had to give them a sequel. Well, I did and it's amazing how it went. It's sort of like the Davinci Code meets The Last Templar except it's way more cool.”



“Really?!”



“Ok, let me tell you about the characters. There's Lance and then, there's Ty. Lance is a kid who grew up a poor kid in a rich neighborhood. He worked his ass off and about the time he thought he was doing fine, boom, his parents were killed, his two little brothers were taken by DFS, and he's left with a friend who's a girl who wants romance with him instead of being his friend. She helps him get through college as a mortician and she's working her job at the hospital, but this is about Lance.

Well, as friendships go, Lance is busy making the funeral home a go and it's taking off. If you know how that works, it's a word of mouth thing and no advertising is going to get you to go to a new funeral home. It's a traditional thing, but as people give his a shot, it pulls people in and they're blown away by how nice it is and that's how his business grows.

BUT, his friend and him make a date to go to a Valentine's dance and while there, they have a dance where the girls pull Valentines out of a box and whomever picks yours gets to dance with you. His gets pulled by the hospital administrator and she and he talk shop while they're dancing.

She takes a liking to him and she says, “You've got to meet my nephew.” Well, little did they know, but Lance and the girlfriend had went out to eat before the dance and he had met the kid at Chili's and both of them thought him hot.

The aunt gives the kid his phone number and the kid calls. They talk and they connect, but before they get to go on that first date, the kid's Mom dies and guess where they take her!”



“Man, that plot sounds awesome.”



“It's amazing. Where this stuff comes from, I don't know, but from that lead in, it's very interwoven and by the end, you've got me throwing a psychology book at you and there are lots of characters in there. They get together, but it's a ride which is just amazing.”



“You have me wanting to read it!”



“Well, the readers loved it. They wanted a sequel, so I went back and did it because I really loved the characters. It picked up from the funeral and it takes you into another death which is interwoven into both their lives and gets into a secret black operation where something like a group of seven people were chosen to go guard the Vatican during a crisis. There were twin sisters in the group and while guarding the Pope, one of them ends up pregnant.”



“Man!”



“What happens there is when the operation was over, they were still considered in the military, but not. They disbanded, but no one talked and one of the sisters ended up the wife of a beer distributor who had a son and then, the other ended up married and becomes a top ranked tele-evangelist.

Well, she ended up in a wreck where her husband is dead and she disappears and it smells strongly of murder, but she's found dead as was the person who belonged to her church. Was it a murder for hire gone bad? Was it military intrigue? Was the Vatican involved and now wanting to get rid of those loose ends? Read and find out!”



She laughed, “You hooked me!”



“Let me tell you something there hon. What people write about my stories is the two qualities they love about it. First, there's readability. Second, there's believability, and then, there's a plot which is needed to make it a romance instead of just smut.

With Readability, it's that book you read that you never want to put down. That's called readability. No huge words needing a dictionary. No junk which gets you lost, but just reading pleasure.

With Believability, there's the realness factor. What I do is I think, could this happen to real people and are these characters real? IF so, then that's good. If not, why am I writing it? I'll tell you I have some books which grab your heart and others which are just action packed.”



“Which are your favorites?”



“Oh man, I can't say. I'll tell you they're all like kids of mine. Love and time gets put into them and all of them have spots in my heart. But, there's one bastard child in the bunch and like someone said once during an interview, “you're only as good as your worst movie.” So, I'm only as good as that one and it's trash.”



“Why?”



“Because I gave myself a deadline and the plot was there, but I'll tell you I really didn't know shit about the subject. It's military and maybe if I had a guy there to tell me, “Nope, that wouldn't happen”, I would've had a chance, but I had a deadline when I told people it'd be released and what's worse is the characters stopped speaking. I'll tell you they saw it as trash and wanted the hell out of it!”



She chuckled. “SO what happened?”



“Like good sex which you fake, I faked it and felt like a whore when it got released. OF course it bombed, but I put a disclaimer on it that I didn't want to hear about it because I knew it was trash, but you know some people actually liked it!”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, but I decided then and there I wasn't going to write about what I didn't know anymore.

Now, here's what you'll see with my characters through and through...First of all, they're characters which are poor and most end up becoming something or making something of themselves. Second, I'm trying to give the readers characters with backgrounds. I want the readers to know the inside of industries and when I do it, I do it with a lot of descriptions and details.

One of the ones which people liked was titled 'To Love Him'. I'll tell you it's a take off of a situation I was involved in, but it didn't have a good ending like the book did. People loved it, and I'll tell you why they loved it was because the character's personality who is the lead character is me through and through.”



“Really?”



“When I worked die casting, I loved that job.”



“What's die casting?”



“Where I worked was at a plant in St. Louis making all the exterior parts for Caterpillar diesel engines. Die casting is molding metal to make parts.

You have two huge dies which close and then get pressed together with hydraulic locks which push them together super tight because another hydraulic ram is needed to shoot like a cannon to get the molten metal inside the die to make sure the little areas are all filled with metal and when the die opens, a part is made.

Now, take this Palmolive bottle. My friend Nathan probably made this bottle because he went to that plant when ours shut. If you look close, you see two seams. You've got a front side and a back side of the die.

With plasticasting, it's what you call blow molded. It's like glass molding except high tech. The die comes together, a bit of pvc resin is put in and it melts. Depending upon the color of the resin, you get a color. In the old Ivory bottles, you saw swirls in the plastic and that was the resin.”



“I remember that!”



“Well, with blow molding instead of a cannon, and instead of molten metal, you've got little pellets of plastic. They go into this hot shot tube which melt them. It's gooey and it's like a blob.

Well, what happens is the machine treats that gooey blob like a wad of bubble gum in your mouth when you blow a bubble. It injects air in which is the 'blow' and it's in a mold which is the 'mold'. They do it with plastic to make everything which holds stuff from mayonnaise to oil for your car, to Tide soap, to beer bottles, to well, this Palmolive bottle. But, what you don't realize is they've got this machine which is kicking these things out like an oompa loompa machine and that's about what it sounds like.

What Nate does is he sits there and he mans the machine. There's no spraying the dies or anything, it's machine tending unless it gets clogged up.

When that happens, it's a mess because you've got a machine which knows no better and it's clogged making bottles inside bottles and when it can't shut the die anymore, it's still injecting melted plastic in that thing and there she blows because it's filled and when the die doesn't shut, it finally blows air in and it shoots that bottle off and blows that molten plastic all over the place. So, he's got to get in with a putty knife and get it cleaned real fast to keep up production.

And that, ma'am, is plasticasting!”



She smiled, “Do you realize when you talked about that, your voice got animated and you were talking with your hands and yet, in that short time, I learned a bunch?!”



“That's why people loved that character. It was me teaching you die casting in a romance with a romance thrown in. There were good characters and bad and at the end, the fella got his guy.”



She smiled, “Interesting! I bet people love them!”



“Let me tell you about this other lark I'm on and then, I'll go to bed. I know I'm keeping you up.”



“Ok, I'm enjoying this!”



“This one is called 'Fort Sumpter'.”



“Uh oh, I've been there.”



“I have to and let me tell you something. IF there's no such thing as reincarnation, someone better wake me up because I'll prove otherwise.”



She nodded, “I believe there is.”



“I know you do. And I know why you're into the Buddhist belief.”



“Belief! It's a religion, hon!”



I smiled, “I know, but I'll tell you I identify more with them than any, but as you know, there are varying sects in it which some I lean towards and others, I don't.”



She smiled, “Then, you know!”



“Whereas you meditate, I think some of the Monks meditated while they wrote their scrolls. I will tell you parts of me meditate while I write. So, what you read are my meditations.”



“Interesting!”



“Depending upon my moods, you get stories with color aimed at that mood. It's me tearing apart those feelings and overcoming them.”



She leaned forward and asked, “Do you want another one of your coffees?”



“Yeah, let me make it. I made up your ice cream for you. I thought about balling it for you, but I wasn't sure how it'd freeze. The ice cream might be cold enough again I could do that and get it into a plastic container for you.”



I went over to the coffee carafe and said, “There's enough, but it's about an hour or so old. It might drop kick us instead of giving us a kick.”



She laughed, “I'll take the chance!”



I pulled a couple of cups out of the drainer and got the ice cream out. As quick as a flash, I had the ice cream in, the coffee poured, and us served.

Then, I got a plastic container out and said, “IF it doesn't work, we'll find out and I'll know not to do that. IF it does, then it'll be cool and I know I will be able to do this up ahead. I'm thinking of seeing how many ounces one ball weighs and seeing if I can get them molded into little shapes for the holidays.”



“That sounds cute. It's a bit over the top, but it'd be neat.”



“I don't allow many guests in my house. During the holidays is when people come around because there's something in me which just says, “You've got to come to me to get this gift.” instead of me being delivery man to everyone.”



“Is that psychological?”



“I don't know. I think it's showmanship. I've got that house decorated to the nines and want to show her off.

Last year, I didn't decorate and sent gift cards within the Christmas cards I sent. My Mom knew something was wrong and Jilli was so concerned, she hauled out to see me.”



“What did she think?”



“My heart wasn't in it. After losing Kevin last year, and after striking out with my Sheriff guy, and with fighting and winning the suit, and then running headlong into the holidays with no body in my life, by the time I thought about decorating, it was the 20th of December and Mama Naomi was broke. I was pissed at the world and it came out in me sending out the cards.”



“But that's not like you!”



“Hon, when you're faced with your mortality and a needle being stuck in your body is what saves you, and you win a suit about another blow to your mortality, it's all about the appearances if I would've faked it.

What's nice is Jilli came and I'll tell you I fell in love with my sister all over again. We're super close now and I realize and she realizes we reconnected.

It was so close that when it was time to go home, my Jilli didn't want to go home! So, at the airport, we decided to shit can the ticket for her flight home to Mom's and I drove with her there.

Now, let me tell you about karmic endeavors. She came, we reconnected, and then, we drove the Southern route because we went to Fort Sumpter. I took her around that place and there's one spot there hon I'm drawn to over and over and over again.

I'll tell you with her, we toured it and I'm talking and telling her about my story and without realizing it, I end up there. Chills went through me because I was talking and walking and boom, I'm done and I look at where I am and I'm there.

Now, we see a tour guide and he says, “You know, right where you stand is where the ghosts show themselves.””



“Really?!”



“Yeah, but I've been there four times so far and as you can see, I'm drawn to tell this man's story. I'll tell you something else and then, you can see how it is.”



“Ok”



As I'm talking, I'm balling up this ice cream and putting it in the container. I'm walking around the kitchen because as anyone who's dealt with ice cream and a scooper knows, water is required to make a release and duh, I'd forgotten!



“Years ago, Tony and I went to Charleston. When we went, we went down to the dock area because of the free parking. Well, there's a warehouse which has all sorts of shops and stalls in it.”



“I've been there.”



“Right, but on the way, we were walking and I'll tell you we were looking in windows because the houses have windows right on the sidewalk.

We got to this one at a corner and I look in and it was like, “Whoa! I know this house!” and suddenly, I'm telling him who the guy is, what he did, about the family, and it's like there was an unseen hand lifting my chest and pushing my lower back and propelling me forward.

We went around the corner at the front and I'll tell you I wasn't in this world at this time anymore. I was seeing it with the cobbled street and horses and carriages and a jaywalking I went while Tony is reading the plaque seeing that what I had said was real.

Well, he sees me hauling ass cross this street and I'll tell you if my feet were touching the ground I couldn't tell you they were, but we go up the street a couple of blocks and then, make the turn and go straight to that church.

The doors were open and in we went, down through it, out the door to the side on the right, and into the grave yard.

He's keeping up and he's knowing he's lost me because he said he's never seen me like that. He said the entire time, I'm telling him the man's life, the man's story, and how as a boy, he fought in the war and had a kid who he was in love with.

All the way, I'm telling him this and suddenly, I shoot off the path to the left in amongst stones and wham, I'm standing at the man's grave!”



She looked shocked, “Then what happened!”



“Tony showed up and he sees the grave and I say, “I've never been in this city before and I've never met this man or any descendants, but look at that, if there's no such thing as ghosts, what the hell just happened?”

I'll tell you, he was blown away and as I told him I wasn't seeing the street there paved and all the here and now, he's getting goosebumps, but what's crazy is the man was a merchant. He was the top cotton merchant in the city at the time and that sign didn't tell me about the boy and it didn't tell me about the love, but I'll tell you the boy was a mere child and he was a drummer.

He drummed and I don't know if you know it, or not, but what they did was a drummer drummed and you knew to fill, pack, ball, ram, and do all that according to the drum and you shot in volleys...or you were supposed to, but I'll tell you that war wasn't a normal war.”



“You're telling me!”



“It was hell. People ran, they got scared, no one knew where anyone was, and a little boy could be in a damned battle with hell going on around him and he was supposed to focus on that drum and pound the damned thing, but food was scarce, horses got ate, boots were falling apart, the ground was cold, frostbite happened, gangrene set in, and in the cold and that battle, he got tired and went over and lay down and died.

No one found him under that bush and I can't tell you the rest, but I went to that battlefield last Summer and saw that battle happening and once again, I was drawn across it. I saw me carrying the drum. I saw my tattered clothes and on a hot August day, I was freezing to death and my feet were killing me. I went over and suddenly, I'm in a thicket full of bushes, and I'm down on hands and knees and my nieces are all there wondering what in the hell I'm doing. And then, I'm there and there, I found this!”



I opened my change purse and pulled out the button. “It's small, but look at that. It's a button from his uniform!”



“Oh my God!”



“Hon, let me tell you something strange. When I worked at that die cast plant, I had a boss who was like no other boss on this planet. They hired this man from another die cast plant and when he gets there, he's just insane!

But, on a level, I connected with that man and on a stronger level, I'll tell you it's weird because this man never asked his workers to work. He'd come by and he'd ask, “Am I getting any parts out of you today? IF so, how many?” And then, I'd tell him the amount the union required and he'd tell me, “Ok, make sure they're good and then, he'd walk off.

But, on this one day, I was walking into the die cast area and he cracked an order at me and suddenly, I turned around and said, “Cap', Get off my ass!” And at that moment, I saw that man in the Confederate Uniform with a fuller beard and looking as much like a version of Robert E. Lee as I'd ever seen.

I'll tell you the man stared at me and said, “Whoa, hold on there! What in the hell did I just see! I swear you had on a Gray Uniform nd you were holding some damned drum!”

And that's when I told him, “And yeah, you were the fuckin' Captain of the motley bunch! That's why you're in leadership here and that's why you're going to let that whore rip us apart!”

He looked at me and asked, “What whore?!”

And I said, “I don't know, but you let whores run with us and me and Jimmy had to sleep together instead of us'ns with the fellas. You were the warmest and then, you put her in your bed and I froze to death out on that fuckin' field.”



“Man!”



“Yeah, but you know what?! He said, “You know, with me seeing what I just saw and in that instant, all you're telling me is like I'm seeing it and I know it's true!”



“Amazing!”



“Yeah, but what's weird hon, is I've worked in four die cast plants and one other plant in my life and I can't tell you if it's all the electrical magnetics of the motors or what, but work there and you're seeing ghosts like a motherfucker.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, but listen to this and I'll shut up. In Hannibal, at my sign shop, I'll tell you I know when I bought that land and I'll tell you my grandpa will tell you that land was and always was a pasture...nothing else, but a place where cattle roamed. And yet, I build a few metal buildings, bring in concrete pads, drop some gravel and make a parking lot and then fill it full of metal working machines, and bam, we have resident ghosts!”



“Really?!”



“I brought it up at a meeting because I wanted everyone to know if I stared at them strange it was because I was swearing I was seeing ghosts and suddenly, it was like I was allowing everyone to tell about their sightings.

What's amazing is there was a guy there who is hot for this bod like you wouldn't believe who is just a doll...but, anyhow, he said, “I never believed in them and then, one day I'm over there drawing up some hydro fluid and there's a som'bitch standing there watching me who was as transparent as I'll be dayamned!”



She laughed, “You know, I know people who speak like that!”



I chuckled and said, “Let me tell you about this guy. As you know, I did that drag. Well, at work, there were days I'd go in wearing the clothes because I know I can pass for being a woman real good. So, when I dyed my hair blonde, I went in with my jeans on and my leather jacket and some boots which were those kind with the two inch heels.

Well, I'll tell you he thought I was a woman customer and I'll tell you when he sees a girl, his hormones just come out his mouth.”



She chuckled, “Yeah, and they tend to talk like that. I know!”



I laughed, “Yeah, well, I walked through the garage looking for Kevin and I hear this whistle and then, I hear, “God Dayamned Shakira, get over here and sit on my face!”



She laughed, “Oh man!”



“Well, being the owner of the joint, it hit my piss off button like a sack of shit. And I turned around and that's when he was like, “Oh man boss! I didn't know it was you!”

And I wouldn't leave it alone. I told him, “I'd sit on your face you big som'bitch, but Kevin would beat the fuck out of you for enjoying the experience.”



She laughed, “That's funny.”



“Well, what happened there was this guy was attracted. I'll tell you he's a babe. He's like six foot six and he's got this lumberjack look going on and that package is full. He has the part down to the point he's got the flannel open and that chest hair is just amazing, but as good as he works, that dick works because he's got like six kids...so there's no fuckin' way I'm saddling myself with Mr Child support king!”



She laughed, “Smart move.”



“Yeah, but that attraction lingered and I'd come in and be minding my own business and he'd come into the office and it didn't matter if there were people there or not, he'd say, “Shakira, I need some lovin'!”



She laughed, “I can see it!”



“But, the respect was there and I'd say, “Baby, in front of all these people! Dayamn!” And then everyone would crack up.



“It sounds like it was a fun place for you.”



“It was, but the heart's out of it now and it's now just a place to work.

What's bad there is that guy kept up the attraction. He knew I had a smidgeon of attraction for him and he heaped that attraction on me and the day I called my last, he came in to tell me goodbye after everyone had left and asked, “Can I get a hug?”.

I gave him a hug and I'll tell you my nose hits right between that man's nipples. He's smelling good and I'm nuzzling. He's huggin and bam, I feel the bone and I'm like, “Dude, if it was a different life, I'd make you never look at anyone else.” And he said, “I'm not queer, but you sure would keep me happy.”



“I can see that.”



“What's interesting is I know that I get that response with guys and what's even more interesting is I know there's two paths they take. Either they get all pissed off and offensive with it, or they flirt.

Now, one guy who worked for me is a super sweetheart. I'll tell you he's straight as an arrow because it's just that way with him, but I'll also tell you that man sees me and bam, he's trying not to, but he's flirtin' up a storm. BUT, when I flirt back, he hits that “I'm not gay!” bullshit and that's when attitude flies out of me and I say, “Nope, you're not even friendly sometimes!”



She chuckled, “What happens?”



“Well, let me give you some history with this guy. When he came to work for us, he's all of eighteen years old and fresh out of high school. He's sitting there all blue eyes and dimples and staring at me in his best Sunday go to meetin' suit and I'm trying not to imagine that kid in bed.

I hire him and tell him to come to work. Then, he leaves and Kevin comes in and I tell him, “You've got a worker coming in tomorrow.” and he said, “Ok, what's his name?” And I said, “Let me see because if I told you blue eyes and dimples, you'd get all pissed off.”



She laughed



“So, I went and got his name and the next day after work, Kevin comes in and said, 'That boy is going to get me fucking him and when it happens, I'm putting him between us!”



“Really!”



“Yeah, because he's so damned cute it's just amazing and yet, when you talk with him, you find out he comes from a terrible family and that kid is just so shy, quiet, and sweet, you're wanting to give him the shirt off your back.

Well, he's cute and when he works for you, he works his ass off for you and you can't help but notice it's for real and not one of those fake kinds of work. It's the real thing and even when the guys are cleaning up to go home, he's in there working and at the time it's time to go clock out, he goes and clocks out and THEN cleans up to go home.”



“Oh man!”



“Well, Kevin and I told each other our attraction to the kid and I'll tell you I'd bed him in an instant and Kevin would too, but he's straight, but Kevin will tell you that kid's hot for me something fierce.

So, what's amazing is one day, he comes in and sits down across from me at my desk. I'm on the phone and when I get off, he said, “I need to find out how to get insurance because I've gotten someone pregnant and I gotta get married.”

I'll tell you, those words hit the 'oh fuck' button because I could just see his life sliding into the shitter.”



“Yeah.”



“Being a boss, I'm supposed to be professional, but I saw that kid serious and I'm about to lose it because I'm scared for him, and in situations like that, I get nuts, so, I asked, “What's his name and is he as cute as I am?!”



She laughed



“Well, let me tell you, that kid crumpled and said, “No!” And that's when I'm like, “Oh fuck!” and I'm hitting that horn telling Kevin to get to the office fast.

Well, Kevin already knew. He's out at his anvil and he's beating the fuck out of some iron.”



“What's that?”



“Ok, an anvil is a huge piece of metal shaped somewhat like a abstract hog. Blacksmiths used them back forever ago.”



“Ok, but why was he out there?”



“When Kevin's pissed, he'd tell me, I'm going to pound some iron and I knew to order another sledgehammer because he'd go and take a piece of flat iron and pound the hell out of it. It was better than him hitting anyone else, so replacing a sledge head is cheap in my eyes.”



“Yeah.”



“Well, he's out there pounding iron and a shop foreman calls me and says, “He's out pounding iron. He'll be in when he gets it out of his system.”



“Man, so what'd you do?!”



“Well, at times like that, you go into what we call coach and counsel mode. You have two people and you coach and counsel the person. It's what a smart company does when firing because it doesn't make everyone dead the next day when bubba goes huntin' a boss.

But in this case, we're not firing, but I'm losin' it, the kid's in shock, and Kev's out losin' it too. So, Carol, my secretary, comes in and she sits down.”



“That's good.”



“Carol is one of my Angels I told you about. I love her, love her, love her, and now, she's sort of my ex sister-in-law.”



“Huh?”



“My ex Tony, the one who blew his head off has a brother.

Well, she was married to this guy for something like twenty one years and they were in a bad rut. They said something like five sentences to each other daily and that was it. They did the same things over and over and finally, she knew it was over, but after twenty one years with someone, she knew leaving would be hard.

So, one thing led to another and she ended up running away with Kevin and I to St. Louis when we bought a bunch of media and met Doug. Instant attraction happened and then, something absolutely out of this world happened, and then, they realized they needed each other. Now, she's sort of my ex sister-in-law.”



“I understand it, but that's a strange way of putting it.”



“Well, as I said, Carol came in and if you've ever seen Conchatta Ferrell on 'Two and a Half Men', you know what she's like. She's got that personality and she's going to say something when everyone's down in the mouth.

She came in and said, “Well I'd say someone ran over the pussy with a Mack truck, but I know Rhette don't allow pussy near him! And he's not got on a party hat, so I know pussy didn't die.”



She laughed



“It broke the kid up and it's what I needed. So, what ended up happening was I coached and counseled and handed the kid the information about our insurance and then told him, “If you want out of that, you let me know. I've never believed in it, but I'll pay for it this one time.” And then, he left.”



“Oh man!”



“Well, two days later, he comes in all smiles and said, “It was a false alarm, she got her period.”



“Thank God!”



“You telling me! But what Kevin and I decided was we were taking him on an advanced level of training and we were getting him promoted. I'll tell you there's not many people we feel that strongly for, but with him, we got some serious selfishness going on and we decided maybe he needed to work a little more and harder.”



“I agree.”



“So, we pulled him in and coached and counseled and he was my first employee over on the landscaping side. So, he'd work the sign shop during the day, and while Kevin politicked at night, I went out with him and we worked our asses off mowing, and landscaping. He got promoted into management there and suddenly, he went from making fourteen bucks an hour to making thirty...and, he's working from seven in the morning until nine at night and from seven until four on Saturdays.”



“Man!”



“What's great is the part about him hitting those attitudes with me happened early on, but Kevin told me he was attracted and I knew it. Well, the kid was so damned nice, I decided if we were going to have a baby from him, I was going to have a hand in finding him someone who would make a great wife.”



“You're terrible!”



“As I said, we got selfish, but when I got beaten, Kevin put him on me at the house. Kevin took over running the company during that time and I'll admit I looked terrible, so I stayed in at the house and he'd come and he got paid that big money for him to do things around the house and do the shopping and running for me.

What's nice about it is that kid is the one who single handedly brought me out of it.”



“How?”



“Well, one day, I was sitting in the kitchen trying to operate this thing called the stripper which you skewer a potato on and then it takes the skin off like a friggin' eighth of an inch at a time. It does it, but it does it slow.”



“Yeah.”



“Well, he sees me doing this and he's like, “Why are you peelin' potatoes?” and I tell him, “I want some potato soup and there's nothing like real soup instead of the fake.” And he said, “Let me show you how you do it. Get some water boiling.” So, I boil some water and then, he asked, “How many potatoes do you want in it?” I told him, that bowl there.” So, as slick as a whistle, he cuts a ring around the potatoes and drops them in the water.

Well, you know I'm a smart ass and I told him, “I sort of wanted soup with littler pieces and without the skins” and he said, “Give me a moment and I'll have 'em peeled for you.” So, we boiled them and when they came out of the water, he takes them and just pulls the skins off like they wanted to come out of their skins!”



“How?!”



“I guess the ring around them causes the potatoes to loosen up from their skins and you pull it and the skin comes off whole.”



“I've never heard of it!”



“Me neither and even being in the kitchen in prison, I know they use a mass peeler to peel them in there and then do that, but I'll tell you this kid sat down and said, “My momma does that and that's how she makes mashed taters.”



“Well, I learned something!”



“Me too! Since then, you know how I do it!

But, here's what happened that day. I made that soup and you know I'm chopping onions and puttin' in the parsley, and getting my bacon cooked and making my rue and all that and somewhere in the chopping of the onion and that bacon, the kid flirted with me.

I'll tell you, for something like eight months, Kevin didn't flirt with me and sex with him at home was painful as hell, because it's like a duty instead of love.

Well, he flirted and that time, I hit the piss off mode and said, “I'm not going to bed with you, so stop!”

I'll tell you it hurt him. He said, “You know, what they did hurt you inside and I see it. It's killing me to come here because you're not the same on the outside, but you know, they put you back together, and no, you're not the same looking, but you're amazing looking on the inside and on the outside, you're different, but you're hot.”



“I agree. It's different, but I'll tell you you're the prettiest guy I've ever seen now whereas you were a guy who was pretty. It's different now.”



“I understand, but where you see it, I zone right in on those scars and ask myself if the scars are showing.”



“They don't.”



“No, but at first they did, but they've faded and there's a lot of tanning booth there which helps.”



“There's facial hair now too.”



“Yes, but that's camouflage. I'm about to have it lasered, but I'm worried about how that laser will react with the scar tissue.”



“Do you want it?”



“I'm ready for it. If it won't come back, I can't use it as a crutch anymore. I'll tell you I need it because shaving around the scars is a bitch and I end up looking like Edward Scissorhands did my makeup.”



She smiled.



“But, what's nice there is that day, things changed. Him telling me I was hot in a different way brought out the change and that night, once again, Kevin didn't come home, so I and he went out and mowed a yard. He went home and I went home and for the first time in a long time, I showered and sat in front of the mirror and put on the crème. When I was done, I looked in the mirror and said, “You know, you've got a man who won't look at you and another who won't fuck you but thinks your hot. It's time you find someone who puts those two together and makes you feel alive again. Then, I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.”



“What was going on with you and Kevin?”



“He says my looks changed so much he felt like he was cheating on me with me. He also says the guilt for not being there tore him up. Just the same, all the little things stacked and I'll tell you he had to go.”



“You couldn't repair it?”



“Hon, when Ike used to beat you and you were black and blue, did he fuck you face to face?”



“Yeah.”



“Well, Kevin wouldn't. It was always with me facing away and with the lights off. There was no passion nor intimacy. There wasn't any time in it he even attempted to insure I got off. It was in, out, and oh, and then he rolled over and he'd go to sleep and I'd lay there crying.”



“You two needed to talk.”



“We talked, but he says all he heard were accusations and me blaming, but I'll tell you I never once blamed him or accused him of anything. Yeah, I did start telling him about how it felt to love a man who no longer loved me, and how it felt to love a man who would go out and fuck someone else who I damned well knew I was better looking than, but all the little hurts and pains cracked the hell out of Humpty Dumpty and no, we couldn't put it back together.

SO, we ended it and then tried to get it back and it didn't work, so finally in the middle of a big argument, I changed. The line had been crissed and crossed so many times, I was like, “Ok, this isn't going to work, I need to realize the mule is paste and we've made it that way, so let's just settle the shit and get out of it.

In that instant, I turned to him and said, “Kevin, shut up, nothing's working, it's official, we're over, and nothing's bringing it back. Go pack and I'll help, but you've got to go and let me live a life without you and you without me.”



“That had to hurt.”



“No, it was like it pulled the plug on the broken record. He nodded and we went up and packed him. There weren't any hugs, no kisses, no 'I'll miss yous'... nothing. We carried his stuff out to his truck and I didn't even look back when the last load was taken. Instead, I went in the house and removed his pass codes from the alarm system and changed mine.”



I put the dishes away and said, “Hon, I'll tell you something. For fourteen years, I loved him. In getting out of prison and all those passwords and pass codes, I used our anniversary date. That all changed and went to our final release date from each other...that day. It told me prison was over, and it told me like real prison, there'd be nothing in the world I'd do to ever make it possible to go back.

What's weird, is it was MY house and yet, I had to do things in it to make me feel like it was mine. Furniture got rearranged, the chair he sat in got taken to Mama Naomi's and I started making the house mine. Flowers got planted to add color, borders and beds got dug by me. Soaker hoses and rain bird systems got put in, and all those fucking pine trees got sawed down by me, chopped up, and then, I ordered palm trees which were mature and got the backhoe so all the holes were dug.

In two weeks, I had that place changed and I'll tell you, little things happened which you wouldn't notice, but I do...like that house now has paint on it which makes it glow.”



“Huh?!”



“Ok. Let me explain paint to you. This will freak you out, but if I took you to a paint store, you'd see fifty fuckin' brands and all of them have one thing in common...it's the same shit.”



“Really?!”



“We have a highway paint plant South of town. For one Summer while I was a teen, I worked there. It was the hardest work I ever did in a plant and it taught me the most in my life...for my vocation which is signs.

Working there, their motto is, “There's no such thing as bad paint” and there isn't. It's always the same stuff, but what you've got is a base and the only thing different is the hardeners, the dyes, and the soaps.”



“Soap?”


“Yeah. I'll explain it in a moment.

Here's what you've got. You've got Latex and you've got hardeners. What a hardener does is when you spray a highway, you want it to dry damned fast otherwise, the tires driving over it will make it go everywhere.”



“Ok”



“If you see a lot of tire marks, that's not a good paint. It should tell you that state doesn't pay much money for their paint and because they won't, they pay more because it requires them to paint more often.

Then, you've got states which play games with you like Kentucky which really do it psychologically to trick your eye to thinking, “Why yes, their grass is bluer than anyone else's!”



“Really?”



“Hon, what they do is they add blue dye to their white highway paint. You've got a real super white base with a blue tint to it. Anything next to it will look blue.”



“I didn't know that!”



“They do the same thing to the yellow in the stripes in the middle. They make a super bright pale mustard yellow and then, put red to it so it's more orange than yellow. Between the two, it tricks your eyes into seeing everything in that blue spectrum. It's like putting 3-D glasses on.”



“Interesting!”



“Yeah, that's why you never place a red sign on one side of the highway and a blue on the other. It'll fuck with people's heads and for that brief instant, the world goes 3-D and you've got more wrecks in that stretch than anywhere else.”



“You're teaching me all sorts of things!”



“But, here's what you do with paint. Now, you probably have driven and seen signs which have white in them and at night, they appear dingy and gray and other signs catch your headlights and appear super white, right?”



“Yeah.”



“Once again, a state pays for what they get. IF I sell you a sign which has high reflective white on it, you get it.

What that is, is a high manganese white dye which gets put in with lime. The two give off a chemical reaction which make it brighter. Now, if you want that paint to reflect super bright, you take glass beads which are as fine as super fine sand or powdered sugar and you put them into the mix of something like five hundred pounds to five thousand gallons of paint, or a twelve ounce glass of the stuff to a gallon of paint. Suddenly, you've made your paint reflective.”



“Ok!”



“Now, here's where soap comes into it. If you happen to drive down a street and see a white house with mold growing on it, you see a house with cheap paint.

Soap is an algae killer, so they put it in the highway paint to make sure nothing grows on the strips on the side of the highway. It maintains it's hardness with the soap in it, and it tends to last longer. That's why Sherwin Williams will say their paint is better. They put in more soap and more hardener and you don't get chalking. Chalking is usually a sign too much lime got put in and not much else was brought up to make it mixed.”



She smiled, “You're teaching me paint now!”



“Hon, listen to this and check and see if it happens. The next time you paint a room where cobwebs seem to happen a lot, put some soap in it and you'll see it suddenly stop with that non-sense. AND, if you have a house where you see all the friggin' ladybugs or bugs on the side, put some Malathion in the paint and paint it. That's orchard spray and when they land on it, it's killing them. It stinks bad awful, but you sure don't have a problem. We offer that as an option on our signs.”



She smiled, “Where do I get that?!”



“Any farm and home store has it. If you want to spray your house with it, you can. It'll kill everything.

Now, what they sell it in is two versions. One is the 100% strength and the other is something like 52% or 58% which is cut down with something. I'll tell you if you're going to pay the same for the 100% as the other, you might as well get the 100%. Both stink just as terrible as the other and you'll hate my guts the second you open it because I didn't tell you it stinks as bad as it does, but it's terrible.”



She laughed, “I'll take your word for it.”



“Let me give you a clue as to how bad it is. Do you remember when your mama or grandma decided to kill chickens and boil all them feathers off them?”



“Yeah.”



“It's worse. Do you remember throwing all them feathers in the ditch with all the guts from them chickens and then it bein' hot out and that all getting terrible bad?”



She smiled, “Yeah.”



“It's worse. It's worse than a cow blowin' up in a ditch and rotting in August, so you know it's about the worst shit I've ever smelt.”



She laughed, “You've made me remember some bad stuff, but you sure remember doing all that!”



“I did it. It was bad. It sure made you not wanna eat chicken for a while after that, but my grandma on my daddy's side would do that and then, go in and fix fried chicken. Go figure that bitch out!”



She laughed, “You sure didn't like her!”



“Hon, I'll tell you something. There are people on the face of the earth where you wonder why they're here and I'll tell you that woman's sole purpose was to tell me the devil has a wife and she couldn't die fast enough to take her place. I could tell you some things she did and you'd understand a lot better, but I'll leave that alone.”



“Ok.”



“Some day, I'll need you to be pissed off at the world and that's the day I'll tell you things she pulled and you'll know how I remember her.”



“Ok”



“Just the same, back to paint.”



She chuckled



“What you don't know is all paint which is Latex is the same. It's proportional and we made that stuff in mixers fifteen hundred gallons at a time with a mixer that was like one of those drink mixers you put in a glass and mix up a shake.

At that plant, we had four mix bowls and there were two for the white and two for the yellow. A batch consisted of six thousand gallons and something like fifty thousand pounds of materials went into making it.

Those materials were in fifty pound sacks and yeah, as little as I was, I had to grab one off a pallet in a swinging motion, catch it with my knee and raise it up to the edge lengthwise, and take a utility knife which was tied to my belt, taken up through my shirt, and down my arm to come out the sleeve of my long sleeve shirt. You kept it that way so you could straighten out your arm and that thing would pop into the palm of your hand.”



“Really? Weren't you cut?”



“No, you had to be careful. I stood more of a chance falling into that mixer than I did being cut!”



“Really?”



“The lip on that thing was like three feet out of the floor. It was something like nine feet deep and as I said, that bag rested on the edge and was the size of a pillow. So, you cut a big smiley face in one full swoop, grab that tongue and pull. The material would fall in like a bunch of ground up feathers and then, you grabbed the ends, and you crashed them together like a big cymbol which would make all of it get out.

We did that over and over and let me tell you, here's how fast they went. A mix was made every twenty minutes. They started mixing from the time the latex and hardener went in, so you had to cut that fifty thousand pounds, or thousand bags in that time. There were two of us, so you know we were moving. It'd take us something like ten seconds to grab, cut, crash and be back to grab.”



“Man!”



“Yeah, and that dye would stain us white and that yellow...well, I've still got undershirt at home which have that yellow in them. It doesn't wear out and they're not good for anything except painting, or changing the oil in a car, or whatever, but it sounds terrible I've got underwear that old, but as I said, after that job, they didn't get worn that often.”



“I understand. I was looking in my closet the other day and realize after all these moves I've made in my life, I've got clothes from the sixties.”



“It's strange how we hold onto things and yet, how we gather more. I can understand that because there are clothes I've worn which I remember what I wore them to and hang onto them. I'll also tell you I've got jeans worn plum through and still, they're in my closet.”



“Why?”



“Because although I'm gay, I'm a guy and I might need to wear them out doing something dirty and rather than wearing something good, I'll wear them. BUT, then again, I've got a stack of those sorts of clothes which really should only be one outfit, so I need to let some go.”



She smiled, “You come from a good background where you don't throw anything out and wear it plum out before you get rid of it.”



“Yeah, but other things, I get rid of damned fast, like vehicles. My grandpa on the other hand would wear a car to the point it was embarrassing.”



“He came from that generation.”



“Yes, but let me tell you how it was and then, you'll understand there. My great grandfather was the richest man in Northeast Missouri. I'm not bragging there, but his daddy was rich, but he got richer.

How they made their money was the old fashioned way, they earned it by being smart.

What they did was back when the settlers were coming in, that area wasn't woods down close to the rivers, but plains. You might not know it, but plains land is a bog. You go out and it's so full of weeds which have frozen over and fallen and then, the next Summer another bunch rise up and it's done over and over and over and in all that root system down there is dirt, but when it rains, that all holds moisture in and that's how it was so fertile.

Well, in order to farm that land, you've got to drain it. Otherwise, you'll not get it plowed or farmed. The way you do it is you go out and you have to assay it to see what's yours and then, you double assay it and I'll tell you that you'll be off.”



“Why?”



“You walk at different paces than me. If I walk from point a to point b, I'll walk it different from the first time to the second also. So, what they did then, was they assayed it double and then, they put the property line in the middle.”



“Ok”



“From that point, you have to start sod busting. You take your crew and you start with spades and once you get it turned, you hook on with a draft horse and you pull it up. When the horse can't pull anymore, you cut that sod and either you build a wall from it, or you make a house. You never waste it, so usually, you build a wall from it and in that enclosure is where you put your hogs, chickens, or whatever.”



“Ok! It makes sense!”



“I was taught this because it's taught down through the generations. My granddaddy told me, “Someday, they'll open up some of that land in Nebraska and when they do, they're going to need it drained and you be there.” I'll tell you if I make what they made back then, I'll be there with smiles on and a way to to it with dozers.”



“What did they make?”



“Ok, a homestead was six hundred and forty acres. Right?”



“Was it?”



“Yeah. But, let's say you moved in and I'm the land grant agent like he was, which land are you going to get and which am I going to get?!”



“Oh!”



“Yeah, you get the land in the middle near no rivers and I get the land near the water. You get hills and I get the tillable and farmable.”



“Ok!”



“Also, you get your six forty and I get my six forty and all the six forties of my fictitious friends, family, and named animals.”



She laughed.



“I tell you it seemed that way, but I'll also tell you the man was a fertile motherfucker! He had something like twenty three kids and each of theirs had something like that so it was terrible on those women.”



“Or that good!”



“Well probably, but I saw that horse dick on my grandpa and I sure know there's no way I got it!”



She laughed, “You looked?!”



“Hell, you're a kid out there on the farm and you're walkin' and learnin' and it's time to piss, you reel it out and go. With him, I began to wonder why he never got lost and that's because he was always draggin' the damned thing behind us. It was something like eight inches soft!”



“Goodness!”



“Yeah, so you know I got a complex when I was little!”



She laughed.



“Back to drainin' the marsh. Anyways, they cut the sod all around this mess and they did it in a swatch of about twenty feet wide. I'll tell you what that's called when it's done and that's a road!”



“Really?”



“Yeah, so they cut all the way around this thing and then, what happens is the water drains to the road and it drains and flows downhill to wherever the creek is. If it's flat, I'll tell you how they did that, but that's in a minute.

What happens then is you do that and when it's drained, you burn it. It's pretty easy because you've got a family like that, they're all out there and that fire's not going across that swamp called a road, so all you have to watch for is embers flyin' across and starting fires over the way.

Now, when that's done, you've got what my grandpa called toast. It's crunchy, drained, and that's when you can get a horse in to take a plow and turn it.

What you do when you turn it is you already know the lengths a horse will drag, so you plow in furrows that wide and you drag that sod out and stack it. Where you stack it is the road. Why? Because the road gets built up and that field gets put down to where the water is going to stay in it and you do need water in it.

Then, what you do is you look at the lay of the land. That's key because if you do your job right, you don't have to work hard after that. If you don't, then you'll work your ass of and never get it right.

What you're doing is you're finding the slope. The reason you want the slope is because the water is going to run that direction and you want it to cut through, but not wash out. IF it washes out, you'll have a mess.”



“I'm understanding.”



“Where two slopes come together, that's where you put a wash. The key to a good wash is making it in plateaus so you've got a washboard. You want it that way to catch all the soils which wash off. Grasses will grow there and you can plant there, but you need it.”



“This is interesting because it makes sense.”



“Yeah, but people don't think about that. They see it and they think, “Damn, this is a lot of hard work, just give me a field and I'll work it”. So, he did that and for that effort, he got one tenth of the ground he did. So, what you had was a six forty and in one corner, you had his sixty four so when all the other idiots out there gave him their sixty fours, he had a two fifty six.”



“Smart!”



“Yeah, now with his boys farmin' their six forties, they didn't need the place broken up, so what he'd do is he'd build a farm of those six forties times four and that's where one fella got called a lot of different names.”



She smiled.



“What ended up happening is he had all them with farms spread out forever and those two fifty sixes up for sale. They sold, and that's where they got money to do a lot of their other business ventures. What those ventures entailed was a seed and feed store and out there, there was a mine and a railroad.

With the railroad came more land and that led to what was basicly a little empire built by the little Italian up there and what you don't know is before the German's came, the Italians were there and they did all that work for the Germans who settled.

What was wise was we got the better land and we went into the towns and made lives, were prosperous and then, things fell apart.”



“What happened?”



“Well, World War 1 happened and then, the plague afterwards and then, bam, the depression and then another war and then another war and through it all we were dropping like flies because they were very patriotic and instead of sending one, he'd load them up and ship the whole bunch.

But, then again, I'll be honest, we were killing ourselves off at a pretty fast clip too with the over working and the mine. He thought he needed to work his kids and kid's kids to death and then, when he died, that fell apart and they hired out.

But what you don't know is that mine and that railroad were ran free. There was no debt and the trains ran on the coal and all along that train route was a lot of little towns and one major resort which was world famous.”



“Really?”



“If you look on some maps, you'll see a place called Spalding. Not Spalding Beach, but Spalding. If you look for Hannibal, look for a town called Center and then a town which might or might not be on there call Rensselaer.

Spalding was in the middle of those and had a hot springs bigger than those in Hot Springs, Arkansas, or Excelsior Springs, Missouri. I've been out there and the springs up through that valley look like Yellowstone.

If you look on the map, you'll see a town called Louisiana. It's a town about twenty five miles down the river from Hannibal. Then, look over to the mid part of the state for a town called Sturgeon. It's about midway between Moberly and Columbia. When you do, you'll see a railroad line which runs out through there and you'll see something called a dynasty.

That rail line was my family's and my granddaddy told me that not one spot of those rails wasn't owned by my family. That's a stretch of something like a hundred and twenty miles and off from that were short line railroads. One went from a town called Rush Hill to Hannibal and another went off of that up to Macon and stretched all the way to St. Joseph eventually. It was that railroad, the Hannibal-St. Joseph which eventually put the Pony Express out of business.”



“Really?!”



“Now you're learning a little bit of the other side of history.

Anyways, let me tell you about these people's luck which will get me back onto that hot spring.”



“Ok”



“What they did was they controlled that section of the world. They were the land grant people and they were all in one family. They exploited the hell out of it and made a fortune.

That fortune was mostly by accident. If truth be known, they were looking for the ideal place to make wine.”



“Really?”



“Yeah. If we were there, I'd take you on a drive lasting one day and you'd see area after area which when you see it, it looks eerily familiar and that's a valley going up between two hills in a wide plateau and what they wanted was a place to dig in and make their tunnels for the wine cellars and the valley being shaded by the hills so it never got too hot or too cold so the vines were protected.”



“Oh ok!”



“Over and over, they struck out. They'd find the perfect area and they'd dig in only to find something they'd make money from in abundance.

The first stop was over at Louisiana. They did and that whole area became what is known as Stark Brothers Nursery which is the oldest corporation west of the Mississippi and is like the largest manufacturer of fruit trees on the planet. You drive down in that area and you see little buildings made of stone up on the sides of hills and you can see where they had their cellars.

Well, they sold the land to Stark as the land wasn't good enough for the vines. They pulled up and moved. They went to Frankford and there, they planted again. It was a stop on the railroad and there, you see a bit of what they were looking for because the house is still standing and everything looks like it did there. There's was huge arch there they built for the railroad and that arch for a long time was the biggest stone arch in the United States until they tore it down to make way for a highway.

Just the same, they pulled their plants up because that area is known as tornado alley and if you saw the topographical map, you'd see they were unfortunate enough to build right in the middle of a natural I shaped trough in a valley. The wind still does as it did back then and yet, they sold that portion of the railroad for a while to a man who made it go broke. They took it back and opened it back up.

Their next stop was just west of New London. Once again, a little valley next to the Salt River there and low and behold, they dug in next to a salt lick and struck oil. Oil might be good for some things, but it's not conducive to making wine worth a shit, so they sold it off and went across that low valley to where Spalding is.

This time, they were tenacious. Every time they dug in, they broke into a hot water seam and what they did was they built spas. Each little retreat had it's own steam bath and guest house. They must've tried like hell because all up that valley they did it over and over again until there were enough guest houses that something like six thousand people could stay there a night.”



“Oh, I thought you were talking something little!”



“No, these are hotels hon. In Germany, a guest haus is a hotel.”



She laughed, “I thought you were talking about Italians!”



“We are, but a German bought it and that German's family wrote the history for the area, so it's a house!”



She chuckled, “Hence the name Spalding!”



“Yeah, but what you see now is not much up through there. There is one spot which is nice because it's a private cemetery. The man is resting in a glass domed coffin and in his hands he's holding an axe.”



“I've heard of those.”



“It used to be a popular partying area, but the owner shut it down. Now, you've got to have permission to go up in there. I get in because I know where he hides the key and he knows I'm a history buff for my family.”



“You do know a lot about them!”



“When I was little, I'd hear all this and I'd think, “Man, what dumb asses!” but as I grew older and found out what damned hard work it is, I'm thinking, “Either they're dumber than hell, or gluttons for punishment” but, as I grew older, there's a gene in me which craves to make that wine and I can understand it's in the family lineage to do so. It's like that little pack rat who wants to burrow.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, when you go into the house down in South Carolina, over in a corner of the basement, you'll see the largest home brew set up probably on the planet. I'll tell you all day long it's for my own use and swear on a Bible that's what it's for!”



She chuckled, “You can only make so much before it's deemed commercial.”



“Yeah, and I max that out in one batch!”



“You idiot! You'll get caught!”



“Hon, tell me you've not had dandelion wine. OR tell me you've not had sugar plum wine and smacked your lips!

Well, I do that and then, I move on to all of them. Right now down there, I've got five thousand gallons of Strawberry wine sitting and I'll tell you that is going to be amazing stuff.”



“Oh man, that sounds good!”



“It is. It takes a lot of sugar, but oh man, making what they call the squeezin's for it is wonderful.”



“Huh?”



“Ok, with wine, you press the fruit and you get the juice. IF you bruise the fruit, it changes the taste. Well, what you will hear from me is the fruit doesn't realize it's been bruised if you put it through a juicer and what you're left with is a lot of pulp.

Now, that goes into five gallon pails which get used for everything with me. Most of it got sold to a friend of mine who pays me just as much as I paid for it and he's using the puree for his largest daiquiri stand in the world soon at some world famous biker rally.”



She smiled, “I could read that like a book!”



“Hon, let me tell you something with him. He'll do that and what you'll see that idiot do is he'll put that money into that and make a friggin' fortune. He's talking about taking a milk tanker on a semi trailer and getting that much rum and 'mixing' it so when he gets there he can hook that damned thing up and super refrigerate it and make it slush.”



“Oh man! That sounds good.”



“He's talking about selling eight thousand gallons of them in twelve ounce cups for five bucks a cup. Now you tell me he's not going to make money!”



She laughed, “Who's he?!”



“He's a friend of mine who I went to high school with. You need to know his name is Harold because I'll tell you that Harold and I fucked like bunnies for a while until he got his pecker bit off by a snapping turtle in the river.”



“What!”



“We were skinny dipping and I'll tell you he wasn't that well hung, so it was a lucky bite by the turtle, but little did we know if you shove a stick up the turtle's ass it'll let go, but all the while, he's yelling and screaming and holding this turtle, and running around, we're laughing our asses off.

Finally, we saw the blood and I'm thinking, 'Oh damn, there goes my sex life with Harold! So, I called the Sheriff. Well, as it turned out, the deputy was headed to our camp to bust up the party anyways, so they got there.

What you don't know here is the Sheriff back then was Harold's family. A former friend told Harold's daddy that I was giving Harold head and someone slapped me in the back of the head and that's why he got his pecker bit off. Just the same, the man packed Harold up and moved him off to Nebraska.

What's bad is the deputy who was Harold's family is who caused Harold to lose the dick. That man went insane and got him to the hospital but not before cutting the damned turtle's head off which if you don't know, doesn't unclamp it's jaws.”



She's laughing terribly hard, “I can't believe this!”



“Well, as it went, the party didn't get broke up that night. Jeff and I made out and we ended up in bed. That was the start of Jeff and I.”



“Who's Jeff?”



I pointed up and said, “His daddy.”



“Oh! You got around!”



“Hon, looking back on it, I'll tell you I was a tramp, but what I really think is all those guys weren't getting laid and when they found out I'd do it, I think they flocked to me.

It didn't matter to me because they were all hot and the sex was good. I mean, you know how teen guys are. They SAY they're getting laid every weekend, but I'll tell you most of them out at my parties weren't getting laid. They were getting drunk, or stoned. Yeah, there were some who were getting lucky, but most were there for the booze or pot.”



“How'd you get the booze?”



“The secret there was Tony. He had an account there at a place on the edge of the county for alcohol. The man knew Tony's wealth and with a few winks, I was able to load up kegs and bring them back always having plenty of money for the next weekend.

If the truth be known, I'll tell you something and then, you'll call me a cheat and a thief, but this is how insane I was.

Somewhere along the line, a fella I know by the name of Gino told me a surefire way to cheat at dice. He'd told me how because his daddy used it up here on the streets. As you know, anything with history, and I'm listening, so when I heard what he did, I'm listening really close and then, I tried it out and found out it worked. So, I heard of a place where there was a high payin' dice game down on the East Side in St. Louis weekly.”



“What!”



“Don't be surprised, you know those places are there!”



“Yeah, but you're white!”



“Yeah, and Randy was black and what you don't know is the buy in back then was something terribly high. But, we put the money together and of course they let me in because they wanted to take my money.

Well, as you know, I'm in there and we're throwin' dice and we're winning huge. Then, someone starts looking and or he signals me someone is suspicious and that's when we bet low and I crapped out. I'd step off and we'd bet low, but when we saw other teams working, we'd start betting high beside them and we'd start getting money again.

The way it worked, was we'd do that and we'd go home loaded rich and we'd put the money into parties, but we'd always save seed money to put into the next week's party and that trip.”



“You could've been killed!”



“Yeah, but what was funny is Gino found out and when I was over there, he casually mentions to me, “I hear a white kid is cleaning up throwing dice on the East Side. You wouldn't know anything about it, would you?”

What's bad is I told him the truth and he told me, you need to keep your little ass out of there. There's no way I can begin to save you in there...but, like a moth to a flame, you know where I'd be.

Finally, what happened was we got luckier than hell. We'd left one night and we got all of maybe fifteen feet from the door and the police rolled in thick. Randy and I looked at each other and took off running.

Well, the police saw us running and we ended up getting chased into Missouri and once in Missouri, I knew my way around.”



“My God kid! That's just beyond nuts!”



“Yeah, but it's all a part of the life. What's bad is I tell some of this stuff now and my Mama looks at me and just can't believe it. What's terrible is it got to be so bad at Christmas, Mom walked out of the room and said, “Well at least Jilli didn't do anything like that!” and that's when we laughed hysterically because that girl was neck deep in it with us boys!”



“Really?”



“Ok, let me tell you how it went. You had me trying to get out of the house. Jilli's screeching in that terrible wake the dead and break all the glass in the house screech how she's telling, and finally, I learned a good bribe always works.”



She laughed out loud.



“So, Jilli got the bribes happening. The boys caught on and as you know, when you're paying bribe money, they always have increased needs, so it got to costing me money, but what's bad is those kids were for me so much, they'd get confused as to what good deed or charitable service I was performing and have my Mom blown away and asking me where I was exactly.

What went bad was one night, my Mom was tending bar and she hears my name on the police scanner for trying to break the world speed record or something and she calls home and the kids all told her I was in bed asleep!

Well, you can imagine how they drug that out because I got a warning. The reason I got a warning was because that cop was so impressed how I got that car shut down as fast as I did.”



“What do you mean?”



“Well, I was doing something like a hundred and forty three when he clocked me and I'll tell you as soon as I saw that car pull over into the passing lane on the four lane coming towards me, I knew it was a cop. In that time it took for him to go from that first clock to him pressing the trigger to lock it, I was down to ninety one and I'll tell you, I was on the brakes, emergency brake and transmission gearing down that in less than an eighth of a mile, I had it pulled over and parked.

Well, he pulled over and ran my license plates which got my name put out over the scanner. He got told I had no priors and I had all my papers, so when he got that back, he let me go.

I'll tell you it was on a hill and as soon as I got over that hill, I was into that throttle killing it to get home! I parked it and ran up to the my room and that's when the kids are yelling, “Mom's on the phone!”

So, I get in there and as you know, I was coached into saying I was asleep.

Well, I said that and my Mom exploded wanting to know who I'd let drive my car. I said, “Well, the last I knew Tony had my car taking it to Palmyra to get the air conditioning worked on, so it might've been him!”



She busted out laughing. “You lyin' little shit!”



“Well, it worked because Mom knew with Tony's name, nothing would be said over the scanner about his name and no ticket was issued, so I THOUGHT I was safe.

Well, fast forward for me to be in Kansas City and my Mom has that cop sitting across the bar from her telling my Dad how I'd gotten that car shut down and how he didn't issue a ticket because anyone who had that car shut down that fast definitely had control of the car!”



“Oh man!”



“Yeah, I got a call that night which scorched my ear drums! But by then, I told Mom, “The kids were lying so well, I had to play along! I didn't want them in trouble!”



“You're terrible!”



“You know what? My Mom and Dad talked and my Dad told her, “If those kids work that well together, don't you dare raise hell with them!” Which worked perfect for us!”



She laughed, “Oh man! But it's true, I know a lot of kids who would've sold each other out bad.”



“Yeah, but I'll tell you it worked bad for the others because my Mom totally lost control of Ash and Brent got to the point where he figured his game was safe by being the perfect kid and making perfect grades, so he did that. But Jilli! My God! What that girl would do is just crazy!”



“Why?”



“Ok, listen to this list of feats. Mom's at home watching the news. All is well and Jilli's at a friend's house staying all night...she thinks. And then, boom, the news is up at some place where they're performing a world record nude sky diving jump and guess who's little ass is being interviewed from the shoulders up!”



She busted out laughing.



“It would've been great had Jilli had a cell phone at the time because she could've answered it on the air and said, “Oh no Mom, that's not me, we're having a great time playing house!”



She was laughing



“Needless to say, Jilli was grounded for a century and Mom threatened to super glue clothes on her body.

Then, Jilli started coming to see me in Kansas City. That's fine, but then, she found out she could make money taking her clothes off in North Kansas City, so she's up there doing her own version of 'how tiny is your g-string'.

What's bad there is of all people to be clear across the state shoving dollars in that g-string was a high school coach who found it appalling so much he called my Dad and told him he needed to keep better tabs on his daughter!”

Of course, my Dad caught on and asked him why he was there shoving money in the girls underwear when he should've been dragging her home!”



“Your Dad sounds like a trip!”



“He's great. I love him a lot. That's a tough dude there. He'd stitch himself up when he'd cut himself and not use any pain medication, and yet, he'd cover for us kids.

What I later found out is he'd been just as wild as a kid and was thankful none of our feats had cost him the money he'd went through pulling his stunts.”



“Like what?”



“Well, there was the gorgeous green house in Hannibal's West end. They had a show they put on and they were put in charge of getting flowers. He and his buddies decided it'd be cool to take the money and get the flowers from the green house, so they went in and chopped the hell out of a lot of these flowers and made up their own arrangements.

Of course, you know word got out the next day when the florist sees the place is like barren and he runs to the cops. It's a big 'who dunnit' until that night when the show happened and the place was stuffed like a funeral home.

Well, it cost him something like eight hundred dollars and back then, that was a helluva chunk of money. He's a farm kid and they ended up selling a lot of cattle to come up with it.

Then, when he was sixteen, he'd earned money at the grain terminal all Summer, so he bought some little cars for something like twenty dollars each. I'm thinking they called them Sunbeams or something like that, but they get these cars and they're racing them all over town and the police are chasing them and well, the cars I guess were tiny and could go into areas where a normal Ford wouldn't go.”



“Yeah, they were real little.”



“So, they're all running and what happened was for school, he'd bought a Chevy convertible, so there's none of these cars at school on the parking lot.

Well, for something like a week running, they raced these cars and got away with it. Most of them were popular with the rest of the school as they were on the football team, so they thought they were safe.

As luck would have it, they did the dumbest damned thing they could do. It was Homecoming and they decided to use their little convertibles for rides in the parade proudly driving them. Don't you just know it the police were at the end of that parade route with cuffs?! That was the year the Homecoming game got forfeited because most of the team was in jail.”



She's laughing.



“What's nuts is my Dad gets out and my grandpa was there along with all the other kid's parents. Of course, you know who got all the fingers pointed at him for providing all the cars, so my grandpa made them take all those cars out to the farm and locked them in the barn.

That was cool because they had a place to drive them and out in that part of the county, there wasn't a deputy, so they got to drive them all over the place.”



“What happened to the cars?”



“Four of them are still in the barn. One of them went with my Dad to college where he traded it to a famous children's show actor while he was in college.”



“Really?”



“Yeah, the guy was dumb. Well, here's how it goes in Missouri. When you've got money, it's not wise to broadcast it in certain places. One of those places is a college.

This guy came from a rich family. He's got a Corvette and he pulls up at the college in it and gets out thinking he's Joe Cool. Everyone's attention is on him and then, they realize he's shoving his wealth in their faces, so he's immediately ostracized.

As luck would have it, he's my Dad's roomy. My Dad's getting told what everyone thinks of him, so my Dad tells him, 'Hey, I've got a Chevy convertible at home, but for college, I drive the little car. If you're going to be a dick to live with, we've got to get me moved out of here.” So, the guy's like, “No, I don't want problems, what do I do?”

As you know it, my Dad smiled...”



She laughed.



“Yeah, the 'Vette is in the barn and he traded one of those twenty dollar cars for it. It didn't matter because that guy had that talent and used it to start his show on PBS and suddenly, that thing took off and he's making buckets of bullion. He took that little car with him and even made a movie with those characters in it.”



“Who is it?”



“He's dead now. You know who it is. All the puppets.”



She smiled, “You lead me up and tell me without saying what it is well.”



“I'm not supposed to tell.”



“What'd your Dad go to college for?”



“Structural Engineering. He graduated, but ended up working in his favorite job at a grain terminal he started.”



“Yeah, that's right, I remember the grain terminals.”



“Well hon, I've got to go to bed. Dave's still not called, so I guess he's having a harder time getting everyone called than I expected.”



“What time do you want up?”



“I'll probably be up in no time at all. Two hours is most likely what I'll sleep as I slept quite a bit with him last night.”



I went upstairs and slipped into bed with Jaymes. He rolled over away from me, but pulled my arm over him. I spooned up behind him and nuzzled my nose in his hair. I fell to sleep and maybe three hours later, I was up again down working on the piano making up a song, 'You Can't Do That To Me'.

When it was finished with words, I tried to get the music to it. It came, but it wasn't real easy. I went up and slid a cd into the recorder and then went down and got the words into it. Then, out of nowhere, I had another song hit me which was called, 'Baby, I'm sorry'. It was a soulful ballad.

I was working on it when I got a call. It was Dave.



“Hey Dave.”



“Hi hon. I'm sorry it took so long.”



“That's ok. I've done been to bed, slept, and woke up to write two songs.”



“You getting musical?”



“I've been musical. It's this songwriting thing which has just gotten in my system. In the past twelve hours, I've written Anna a song and myself two.

Clive says I'm damned good singing, but he doesn't know where to sell me.”



“Ok”



“Now, what I need to tell you is I told him.”



“Ok, I think he knew already.”



“He did about you, but didn't know about me. Now he does and acts like he wants to give me all sorts of special consideration because of it.”


“Run with it.”



“Hon, you don't understand. The man was like, “I don't have enough time to give you because you're a major. I've got all these people I've got to work”. Then, after he knew, it's like he suddenly had to find time. I don't like that.”



“It's your position.”



“Dave, that's your position. You know my position on it.”



“Let him do it.”



“Well, that's where I think it's a problem for him. What I sing is all over the place and he doesn't know how to sell me. Anna thinks he was going to attempt to sell me as a frontline RuPaul with all the drag I can do.”



“That'd be cool.”



“Yeah, but there'd be parts of me which would insist upon doing it like a guy too. With that thrown in, it's no longer the fantasy for a lot of people.”



“You're damned good in drag.”



“Yeah, but I'm not all excited about doing it full time and losing my identity.”



“Give him some time then. If it's meant to be, it'll fly.”



“Ok, now, what I need from you is to do me the favor of putting someone on Geo. I want to know everything he's doing all the way to the amount of drugs.”



“Why?”



“For intervention and rescue.”



“Are you sure you want to do that?”



“Yeah, and I want to rebuild that image.”



“Ooh, it's pretty much shot.”



“Not if he cleans up and admits publicly what he is. Then, it's a whole new life. Right now, that's a point which is holding him back as is the self destruct sequence he puts himself in. It needs to be gotten rid of and I think I can work that in.”



“I'll do it. Now let me tell you what I know and can do.”



“Ok.”



“That house and island is our safest bet with you.”



“I figured that, but if the house sucks, it's a helluva price to pay for a fixer upper.”



“It is and on top of that, it's on the historic register, so it's got to be there.”



“Ok, so tell me what I'm working with?”



“There's a light house there. That's got to stay and it's also a source of funding because they've got special funds for that.”



“Ok, so that fixes up the light house and that's it.”



“Yeah, but they've got funds for the house with it, so that can repair that house.

What isn't there anywhere in those guidelines is how the rest of the island has to stay the same. That means you can repair the house and it's available for a guest cottage while you build a place which is better.”



“I want the view.”



“I realize that. What I'm thinking is we put in fill and build yours up on a hill. Now, what would you want in it?”



“Here's what I want. You're going to hate me after this conversation, but I'll tell you if you buy the island, I'll build the houses.”



“Huh?”



“Back home, my parents gave me the land to the North of them. It's 300 acres up on the hill.”



“I think I know what you're talking about. The pasture?”



“Yeah.”



“Ok, it's rustic, but it's got a nice view.”



“I want that view and a house which is identical to the house in South Carolina there. I also want another copy out on that island. Now, what I don't want with it is that back stairwell. I want an elevator put in both of those and if I get to wish some, I want the elevator put in the South Carolina place.”



“You wanting me to get it for you?”



“I want you securing all the wood. You know when I've got building a house on my mind, I'm going to want that place really built.”



“Ok, what do you want in it?”



“I learned with the Overland Park house when you put eighth inch plywood under the drywall, it makes it more secure. Use liquid nails and I want that up under that ceiling also.

Are you writing all this down?”



“We're on the recorder.”



“Ok. The next thing I want is the back steps to be straight down rather than the split like the South Carolina house. I want the stairs to be in wood and done up in a nice style like the front of the house with plenty big landings for potted plants and plenty of ooh and ahh factor because the back of the house in Missouri will be the front.”



“Oh, Ok”



“The house in New York has to be lit up like it's what is on display. I want that island lit up for everything...the guest house and the light house. What I want around that island is Rhodedendrons and I want them so they've got an in ground watering system with built in fertilization so they stay red.”



“OH!”



“Behind them, I want it steep with Castor plants behind them. They're a deep green and have large leaves. They're tall, so that will take care of the hill.

To the eye, the colors will pull the brick of the guest house into the bright white of the other.

Now, all over both houses I want accent lighting under the soffits with that cupola being designed so the windows are round topped and looking ancient, yet are able to withstand hurricane force winds. I also want a walkway around that cupola at least four feet. Make the roof metal like South Carolina, but go up to the walkway so it looks built in.

Here's where the hatred starts.”



“Ok”



“You tell the architect to look at the blueprints for the South Carolina house and take that roof back off it and get me an attic. They put trusses in which doesn't allow for an attic and it's stupid because it's something like eleven feet tall up there.

Also, in the two new houses, I want 2 by 8 outer wall construction with foam filling that void. Then, a vapor barrier and 2 x 6 inner all with foam with a pvc conduit in inch and a half piping.

Tell the electrical people I want each room on it's own breaker for outlets and the light being on it's own. Those outer accent lights do NOT go on that electrical and if I find out it is, you know I'll be telling them to rip it out and make it right.

In between those inner and outer walls, I want the bathroom board sheetrock. Yeah, it's expensive, but I happen to know if that house gets strafed, it'll sure as hell stop bullets. And yes, that plywood goes under it like it's on the inner wall under the drywall.”



“Man!”



“It gets better. Under that underfloor, I want inch not three quarters, but inch thick plywood. Not particle anywhere in the house, but plywood. If I see particle board on that island or anywhere near the house in Missouri, you know a lot of men are going to get yelled at until I find the one who ordered it and that man will be standing in front of you for defrauding you.”



“Ok,”



“In the downstairs of the houses, I want the metal ceiling work. I'll pick the design, but up under that, I'm going to want the dry wall and under that will be the plywood. It's not going to come down on top of me when I'm banging bass in the place.”



He chuckled, “Ok”



“As you know, I can be a particular bitch when it comes to perfection and those houses are going to be my lifetime houses, so I want them done right the first time and this will be it.

In Missouri, I want a garage big enough for Jessie's equipment as well as my truck and Rolls. He'll need two stalls for his vehicles, but he also needs space for his toys.

On that island, build me the regular garage like South Carolina. We'll put the wave runners and him a boat there, and golf carts for the island.

Now, whatever you do, in New York, I want security to the point it's absurd. Get Danny to do that security and yes, I do want motion sensing spots and an automated system which tells the person a hundred foot out they're trespassing and about to be shot if they step on that island. They'll get the point when bullets start flying at them it wasn't a joke.”



“Do you want that automated?”



“On the island, yes, but we can't shoot them in the water.”



“Ok.”



“Now I've not been there so I'm not sure what we're working with in regards to walls. If there's no breaker wall, you know what I'll want, but if there is, we need to see how shear it is and how strong it is.

What I do want you to see is if that guest house can be raised and moved. If it's in the direct line of sight for the Statue of Liberty, it won't be or you'll be asked to have dozens of structural engineers deeming it unsafe and requiring to come down.”



“I've thought about that.”



“What I want hon, is at the top of that breaker wall to be a slope up and those plantings. Then, at the top of that slope, there to be a white fence which can have the decorations put on it for Christmas. While you're at it, you might see if the LEDs can be built into that house and that way, we're not having to do anything other than flipping a switch to say it's Christmas and preferably, that can be programmed into the house system.”



“That'd be good.”



“It's going to be expensive but in that septic system, I want a slurry machine.”



“What's that?”



“It's a built in machine which is like a big in-sink-erator. It speeds up the process of decomposition and doesn't make the system overwhelmed if I'm having larger parties during the holidays.”



“That's smart.”



“I've learned it's worth the money. It's like a thousand bucks but digging up a field is a whole lot more.

In the plumbing, I'm not sure what code is in New York. I do know they require that conduit in the walls, but I'm not sure with plumbing.

I'll tell you I want Pex radiant in the floors for the heat because it's more uniform. We put it in the little house at Hannibal, but the house in South Carolina has a forced air heat pump. I don't like it and that house seems cold all the time.

While I'm on the heat, make sure it's got hepa and electronic filters. I'll pull it out and wash it gladly rather than think I've got to go out and buy one.”



“You're going to have maintenance people.”



“Still, make sure it's got it. The air is better with them.”



“Ok, now what about the plumbing?”



“They might require cast iron. I don't know. If they do, you have them put in lined cast rather than regular. You can flush a toilet with that and everyone in the house doesn't know it.”



“Ok”



“With cast iron, they've got thin wall cast and thick. You know I'll tell you thick because the thin tends to shatter.

In regards to the plumbing, pex is fine. I want a shower at least six feet square in that master bath with drains around the edge instead of the center in a small trough. I'll also want the telescoping shower head with a side wand. I'm spoiled with that wand thing but I don't want all them damned heads like in South Carolina. I feel like I'm in a car wash down there.”



He chuckled, “Ok”



“I thought I'd like it but what I want now is for you to speak with the designer. Tell that person I want double parlors down and don't really care for all that paneling detailing they did in South Carolina. I know it's making it a premium house, but it rather irks me I can't think about hanging pictures and decorating without putting holes in wood.”



“I understand.”



“When you speak with the architect, I'll do a conference call. I want that bedroom next to the Master bed taken out of the design and a larger jacuzzi, that shower, and a sauna put in. I know I want the laundry to be in there for the master unit, so you know why I'm wanting to speak with the person.”



“Ok, it sounds good.”



“And Dave, be prepared to spend some money on Corian. I'm going to have inlaid marble floors down there with designs instead of sculpted carpet. I love carpet, but the marble gives more of an impression.”



“Ok, do you realize how damned much like my Dad you are?!”



“Where do you think I learned it?!”



He laughed, “I can tell!”



“I've not even begun on a pool or the pool house, as I'm thinking about that, but I will tell you the one in Missouri will be solarium over that pool and will utilize the back wall of the garage so the dressing rooms and power is on the garage.”



“That sounds good. Fountains like you put here?”



“I don't know what we're working with up here. I know I'm not interested in all the fountains being there in Missouri. And yeah, I'll probably call that one 'the farm' even though they're identical.”



“What are we looking at her do you think in costs?”



“It depends upon who's building it. If your men are building them, we're probably looking at seven hundred in materials for each. If we're paying someone to build, they'll probably be ten million dollar houses.”



“Damn!”



“Hon, you need to understand I'm going to expect them to work and not stand around and I'm going to be there insisting upon the materials we paid for ARE in the project. AND, you know I'm going to insist upon rip out provisions in the contract at their expense if it's wrong.”



“I'll have to have our people build then.”



“Not really. What I'll do is I'll take them through the house in South Carolina and tell them I want that house with some changes. They'll know I'm going to expect that house with those changes and not what they think I'll just accept.

One other thing and then I'll shut up.”



“Sure.”



“You tell them if they've got to get me quad units in the heating, I want that house zoned for it to be ice cold in it instead of that stuff I've got in South Carolina. I don't know why, but that thing freezes up at seventy four degrees and won't get colder.

When I've got to run around in shorts and wonder if it's working, it's not working good enough and yes, I do want that cupola heated and cooled. The attic, well, I want it heated, but I don't care if it's cooled. Well, you might want to put heat in there I can turn on and off. I sure know if I'm storing Christmas up there, I'm going to want to bring it out and put it away.

While I'm on all that, can you see if they'll get me drawers the size of those big plastic totes for up there? I love the totes, but they look cluttered. If I can have units with drawers, that'd be cool. You can make them up to about four feet tall and then put closets up top so I can store things. I'll also want file cabinets built in up there. You know all my records I've got to have...even though they're on servers.”



“I understand. You think you're sounding particular, but I can see what you're doing and yes, it's in the details, but you're practical in requesting things now instead of afterwards.”



“And Dave? I'm going to want wood tones instead of all that damned White they've got in that South Carolina house.”



“I don't blame you. It's almost clinical there.”



“One last thing and then, I'll definitely be shut up.”



“Ok”



“The house is going to have computertronics out the ass. Above those mantles, I'm going to want built in plasmas rather than having pictures. I like those better because they can be used as televisions and as picture displays. And while I'm at it, you might contact Sony and see how big they make the Vizios. I love the look of those and if I can get a jumbo with it, I'm going that direction.”



“Ooh.”



“Hon, I'll pay for it, but you don't know how spoiled you get when you've got them and it's looking like you're at the movie theater.”



“Coke systems built in?”



“OF course! But, take out the spun sugar Cotton Candy things and get me those roller things to put hot dogs on. If I want cotton candy, I'll bag it up in South Carolina and bring it. That thing is nice, but it's a bitch to clean.”



“Is it?”



“Let me tell you this. I've cleaned it once and after that, I've lined it with foil because it's easier to rip it out and put more in than it is to take an S.O.S pad and spend three hours.”



“It's that bad?”



“You think it's clean and then, you run your hand over it and it's like microscopic sand there. By the time I was done scouring it, I sure hated that thing. But, since then, the foil idea has saved me lots of time.”



“Do you use it often?”



“Yeah, but not often enough to want them in all the houses. I'd much rather throw on a bunch of hot dogs and roll them for company than I would them eating all that.”



“Popcorn machine stays?”



“Yeah, but see if you can get me some of those hot air poppers like Kmart used to have. I love hot air, but I want the buttery taste like that one, but once again clean up is hell. If I could take that unit out and get it into a sink, it'd be better.”



“Do you want domestic help?”



“No. Once a week or twice a week is fine but the idea of some Puerto Rican girl like you'd hire with tatas in a a French Maid's outfit screaming at my dogs would probably set me off.”



He laughed, “I'm not that bad.”



“If you want scenery at my place, you bring it. Unless the help is buff, built, and strutting around in a mesh thong and goes by the name of Hector, do I want anyone Puerto Rican as my domestic. However, if you could get me a hung version of Justin Timberlake, I'd be fine with that in a thong holding a feather duster.”



“Damn!”



“Really, the house doesn't get that dirty and dusty. I've got the electronic air cleaners there and with a Swifter, I'm done in no time.”



“Are you letting that one in who does your house?”



“That one didn't make it past the fish aquarium. When she saw she had to take that eel out, she was like, “No, I don't do that! So, she went and I cleaned the damned tank.”



“What kind of eel is it?”



“I don't know but I thought it'd be cute. I got that damned thing like an inch long and I thought, 'Oh, how cute! It'll be a good addition!' Now, the fucker is like a foot long and is moody. But, I'm not going to take it out and throw it in the river, so it stays there and guards the food cube.”



“Do you want that big of an aquarium again?”



“What I want to know is if I can get one that's the size of the ones they've got at Bass Pro Shops. I know mine is six feet by eight, but I really like that one.”



“Yeah, but it might be a pain to clean.”



“No, with those, they've got all sorts of things which are different. They've got bottom drains and pumps which keep it filtered out. They've also got different feeding systems which are cool.”



“I think it'd be neat to have one with oceanic life in it.”



“Yeah, but they're a pain to keep in tolerances as far as heat and salinity goes.

And yes, I'll take an aquarium man to do that if he also cleans that house!”



He chuckled, “Ok”



“When you hire the people to do the grounds, I want to be there and I want the right to pick out the equipment. Well, I'm going to want the right to pick out the grass seed also...but, they're to have their own shed for that stuff because I don't want them near Jessie's stuff! He's more protective of my Rolls than me and when it comes to his water toys, he's a veritable bitch.”



“At you?”



“No, at his buddies. I don't mess with that stuff unless he's already got it running and it's out in the ocean. I don't mind swimming in the ocean, but I don't like the idea of swimming in that river. He'll bring it up to the dock out there in the river and only once have we ever rode on it from there. He knows my thoughts on that river.”



“Are you going to be ok up there?”



“Yeah, I think that's on the ocean side, so we'll be fine. I do want a cigarette boat because we rode on that Jarrett guy's and that was a blast.”



“Really?”



“Yeah, it goes something like a hundred and twenty and you stand up. I don't know how much it costs, but I do know they make them up at Hannibal.”



“Which one's?”



“Black Thunder marine. I know that NASCAR guy Junior Johnson was up there and ordered one and I know that Binion guy ordered one for his casino in it's colors.”



“Really?”



“Oh yeah, I saw the Binion one. It was awesome. I didn't see the Junior Johnson one, but I think it'd be neat to have one with CigaRHETTE down the side in checkerboard with Neon Red lettering done in CocaCola script.”



“You could write that off for your advertising.”



“Yeah. Now, what do you think about a heliport and chopper?”



“You can fly it, right?”



“Yeah, but I'd need to have a place to park and take off from...well, I'd need a place to keep it hangared if I'm going to be gone for a while.”



“I'll work on that. When do you want to go see that island?”



“Today if possible.”



“I know that. I need to give that man a time.”



“I'm not sure exactly when Jaymes' picture time is. I do know it's in the morning, but I don't know when they're going to be done. I do know she made an appointment for me also.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, I'm not wild about it, but it might be fun.”



“He's one of the best in the world.”



“Good. If he does Jaymes justice, I'll be happy.”



“Rhette, I want a shot of you with your head on your hand gazing off in the distance. When I think of you, that's the pose I think of.”



“I'll tell him. What colors are the room?”



“My office. I want it here on my desk.”



“Go up in your Dad's house in the bedroom. On top of the dresser is one with that pose. I was something like twenty two at the time, but it's in that pose.”



“I want it for now. Not then. That's in the past.”



“Ok. I'll try but I'm in a navy blue herringbone sweater. It'd be better if I were in a jacket.”



“Don't worry about that.”



“So, when do I get a photo of you?”



“I'm not into all that.”



“Bullshit, if I gotta sit, you make the time. Do you realize the only photo I've got of you is at the marina in San Diego when we were fishing?”



“Really?”



“Yeah, and every single person who sees it sees me holding that damned whale I caught next to you with that beautiful tuna and they all ask, 'Who's the mafia guy?!”



“Really?”



“It's the sunglasses and that gold chain. You're not black so they don't ask who the rap artist is, but because of the size of that cross, they know instantly saying you're mafia.”



He chuckled, “You bought me that cross.”



“I know I did. I also know where the thing was got and know it's over a hundred years old. I was also told it came from some Bishop in Italy.”



“Really?”



“Something with the back of it.”



“It's a Cardinal hon.”



“Well, the guy lived back then and that's how they dated it. I do know they said it's authentic due to the way it was inscribed. I also know it's real gold from that inscription because it's soft.”



“I know I've not taken it off since you put it on me.”



“Really? It's definitely due for a cleaning then.”



He chuckled. “It gets cleaned. The chain and all gets cleaned, but I mean it goes back on me as soon as it comes out.”



“Do you get caught in your pillow at night?”



“No, I never have had a problem with it.”



“Ok, maybe it's just me, but all of my jewelry has always come off before going to bed and everything. I can't stand making out with a guy whose necklace is hanging down. It's the same thing with hair, but Kevin found it a turn on.”



“That fucker bought a nice place.”



“I couldn't tell you. He emailed me telling me about it and all I know is it's where John Travolta lives. He bought a jet.

Speaking of jets, Anna says the place she has her's leased through depreciates them out in eight years. I'm thinking about leasing one.”



“Dammit Rhette! Don't you dare! You've got this one over here and you should use it!”



“Dave, how old is that thing! I mean, think about it. Your Dad and I had it together and although it should be just like new, it's probably ancient.”



“If you want one, then trade this one in and get one, but get one through out here because they're our people.”



“Would you do that?”



“I don't know what you want.”



“Anna's has a real comfortable sofa, but I'd like to have a sofa and seats in mine which are like the new style of office chairs.”



“Which kind?”



“Those transparent kind which are real comfortable. They're office chairs, but if they make a sofa in that, I know it'd be comfortable...or, if they make recliners in that, it'd be cool.”



“Do you want recliners, or a sofa?”



“I'd prefer recliners. I do know I want the pull down plasma and the Bose surround system. I'd prefer to have it in a computer so I could sit and write as I fly.”



“Ok”



“Make the paint scheme match the boat...black and white check with Red neon Rhette over the top of it.”



“Why that scheme?”



“The black and white is a good clean cut design. It's checkered flag and a good kitchen floor, so it's a good steady scheme. The red is always a good color for that and the Coca Cola script is easily identifiable and readable.”



“Ok, I figured you'd want the check in the red and black like your Rolls with white over it.”



“That sounds cool too.”



“If you get the red and black check, do you want the Rhette to be in neon white CocaCola script?”



“No, just give me a black R with red shading on the tail. Or, if it's black, then I want a R in red with gold accents.”



“That sure changed.”



“It's personal preference. If it's the black and red, I want the seats black with red piping in it and the walls white with red piped leather and the carpet black.”



“What color of interiors if it's the black and white check?”



“Black floors, white walls, black frames on the chairs with red webbing.”



He chuckled, “Everything changes.”



“Yeah, because I'll probably have the red and black one for Jessie and then go buy my own Lear the way I want it with the white and black check.”



“Damn, you're too much like my Dad!'



“I appreciate the thought, but what's changed in my life is the lifetime theme. If I can't buy something to last the rest of this life the way I want, then I don't want it.”



“That could make that jet real old.”



“If I get to be silver headed and still have this face, you should know I'll dye the hair and make everyone think I'm dating an old dude.”



He laughed, “You planning on keeping Jessie?”



“If he's not settled down by then, I'll have moved on, but with the way I'm getting gray in my hair, I don't know!”



“Let me get you a jet up there for this afternoon.”



“Ok, tell me where so I can tell the driver to take us there.”



“I'm not done yet, do you want your chopper up there?”



“No, keep it in Kansas City. I might not keep the house there, but I'll sure need that chopper someplace...probably at the farm.”



“Why?”



“Because I'm not going to land a jet at Hannibal's airport. It's nice, but without jet fuel, it's useless to me. I'll need to fly the chopper up to Quincy's airport.”



“Do you want a helipad at the farm?”



“All I want there is a concrete pad with tie downs and a roll over hangar. Some day, we'll go up there so I can tell you where I want everything.”



“I'll do it.”



“Tell that jet company I would really like their fastest engines in the thing and tell them if I can't get it up in the area of nine hundred miles an hour, I'm going to be looking for one which will.”



“Why?”



“Because at nine hundred, flying from South Carolina to Missouri is two hours. Flying it up here is an hour and that's probably going to be an hour and a half unless I can find an airport which will get me in and out fast.”



“I'll look. I'll probably bring that jet up and go with you to look at that island.”



“Alright. If you do, bring your construction man so we can make short work of it.”



“Do you have the blueprints at the South Carolina house?”



“Yeah.”



“Want me to get them?”



“No. If Jess saw you in the house, he'd shit. He's had enough orders with that house, he'd just know he was screwing up allowing someone else in. We could fly down there later if you want.”



“I'll probably want. Are you going to fly?”



“Yeah, if you're flying that old one, remember my glasses on that far right panel. And if my glasses aren't there, you find out who's maintained it and fire them. They're blublockers and I really like how those are.”



“Ok, if not, I'll get you some.”



“No, you fire the man and then I'll get some more. I'm not going to let someone klept onto whatever they please no matter how long it takes me to retrieve things. I leave things like that for a reason and that's because flying makes me definitely need them.”



“Ok”



“And Dave?”



“Yeah.”



“You tell these fuckers up here if they expect a dime for me being in this city, they're to get the fuck out of my portion of Vegas and I mean that.”



“Ok, they've not said anything. I think they're wondering why you're coming, but I didn't elaborate.”



“I'll speak with Sal. Maybe when I'm done, I'll have several cases of chickens being sent to South Carolina on the plane.”



He laughed, “Only you would extort groceries from someone.”





“Hon, that man offered to choke my chicken for me once. I'll tell you he sure didn't get that off with your Dad around. And while you're at it, stop by Bates and get me about five pounds of my sticks.”



He laughed, “Any thing from the stockyard?”



“Tell La and Na hi for me and I'll get in there when I'm over there. You DO know we'll have to do rounds while I'm there. Are you doing rounds?”



“Not as often as I should.”



“Damn Dave!”



“Rhette, I hate that!”



“It's respect and it's you showing you're taking an active interest in them. I'll probably have to work a week from one night of rounds.”



“We'll do them together.”



“No, I'll do them alone. They're not likely to tell me what all is wrong if you're there. And with you ignoring them, they're probably not going to want to pay a damned dime one!”



“Whatever you want.”



“No hon! I'll get over there. I'm doing this week in Hannibal and had planned on going back home, but I'll come over and get a few days in. No matter what, I'm getting laid on Valentine's this year if you've got to grin and bare it.”



He laughed, “Not happening.”



“That's why I'm going to be in South Carolina. He's a big enough romantic, he'll probably have me a dozen roses too.”



“What are you going to have for him?”



“I'm thinking about a Harley Sportster. He's wanting one. Now, may I ask you to do me a really huge favor?”



“If I can do it.”



“Contact someone at Chrysler and get a Challenger convertible made in blue with a white top. It had black carpet and white seats. I think the dash was navy blue. If you go down in the garage, you'll be able to tell me. I want a new one in the Cuda package with the hemi motor.”



“Why not take this one?!”



“I'm probably going to have that one at the house in Hannibal. I want that new one to go to South Carolina and you tell whomever you're ordering it from I expect them to have the highest performance chip in that thing.”



“Are they making them in a convertible?”



“I saw they were making them in lime color in a convertible. I thought it was hot, but I definitely want a remake of the one Tony had.”



“Where do you want your 'vettes?”



“I'm thinking about up here wherever I have to park vehicles.”



“Licensed with Rhette?”



“The new one will have to be RVM because the Rolls got licensed with Rhette on it out there.”



“What's your International licensed as?”



“It's got twelve thousand pound plates. If you put those plates on, they won't give you a ticket for not wearing a seat belt.”



“Really?”



“It's only on trucks. You can't license a car with load plates...believe me I had to look hard to get that loop hole, but for twelve bucks extra, it sure beats the fifty dollar ticket.”



“Are you pulling up stakes here?”



“I've got your Dad's house. That's plenty good enough.”



“How do you want to sell the place in OP?”



“I'm waiting until after Anna stays there for the month.”



“Are you going to be here that month?”



“I'm not sure if I'll be there the entire month, but I'll be there for a bit.”



“After that, how do you want to sell that house?”



“Let me see if Anthony wants the house. If he does, I'll sell it to him. If he doesn't, then I'm going to put it on the open market. I will need to have it appraised.”



“It was seven twenty one the last time we did the insurance on it.”



“When was that?”



“In October of last year.”



“Damn! We paid a hundred and eighty three total for the house, land, and everything.”



“And that was almost twenty years ago.”



“Yeah, but I sure wouldn't think it'd have improved that much in value.”



“It's an ultra exclusive estate and subdivision.”



“Well, it doesn't matter. I'll go through it and decide whether I want any of the furniture. Right now, all I know I want is the piano.”



“Nothing else?”



“I doubt it. I'm really done with Tony's memory.”



“Do you think that will happen with Dad's memory?”



“No, your Dad didn't do anything wrong to me. Yeah, he could've done more, but I know why he didn't. In the end, he did right by me way more than I deserved.”



“I need to discuss some things with you.”



“Ok, we're on the phone.”



“It needs to be in person.”



“Dave, the only reason I can think you're wanting to speak with me is because you've got your sister in my house. Is that what it is?”



“No!”



“Well, you got weird when I mentioned the house being mine and now you don't want to discuss it over the phone.”



“I got weird about the house because you being in the house when I'm supposed to be running the city will let people know.”



“Ok, whatever. Sell that fucking house and shit me the money for it then. We'll talk this afternoon, but if I've got to be back over there running the God damned city, you best bet I will.”



“Don't get this way.”



“Dave, whoever is in that fucking house, you get them out. IF ONE ITEM of mine is missing from it and if one thing of your Dad's is gone from it, you and I have a big problem.

I'll tell you now I'm going to stay in that house when I'm in that city. I don't give a fuck who likes it, or doesn't, because they're not paying the bills on it. You think about that because if that was in your plan to keep me out of it, you're put on notice you're pounding the hell out of my piss off button with that.”



“Rhette, no one is in the house! All yours and my Dad's things are still there. I'm just saying it's going to look weird.”



“We'll talk this afternoon. Whatever you do, and whatever this is you're wanting to talk about, please don't do it where we're going to become the joke of this country with loose lips.”



“I won't.”



“I'm getting off here because I've got to jog around Central Park twice. Both Jaymes and I need to be doing it before it gets too late.”



“Be careful.”



“You be careful flying that old crate out here.”



“Ok, I'll see you. Where do you want to meet up?”



“Give me a call. I'm not about to plan on being anywhere where I've got to kiss someone's ring.”



He chuckled, “Ok”



I hung up and went up to wake up Jaymes. “Wake up sleepy head, it's time to go jog.”



“Ok”



He woke up and we got dressed. He turned, and asked, “Are you jogging in that?”



“Yeah. When I get back, I'll have some clothes to wear. I've got to get a nice outfit for us to model in.”



“What time are we going?”



“I don't know. It's sometime this morning. I do know I'm planning on stopping by a clothier before we go.”



“Why?”



“Because Dave wants a photo of me and I'm not going to pose in this.”



“What was decided last night with Clive?”



“I don't know. He got all weird when he found out some things.”



“Like what?”



“I'll tell you later. It's something which will need to be told to you, but after a decision is made.”



“Ok”



We went out and jogged the two laps around the park. When we got into the home stretch, my cell rang.



“Hello?”



It was Anna, “Where are you at?”



“About to come in from our run.”



“You've got an eight am appointment!”



“Damn! There's no way I can model in these clothes!”



“He'll have some.”



“Ok, I'm coming up your steps now.”



I snapped the phone shut and said, “Plan B on the clothes because our appointment is at eight am.”



“Oh!”



We went in and Anna said, “Showers. What do you want to eat?!”



“We'll eat afterwards. If you have granola bars, it'd help tide us over.”



“Ok”



“Dave is coming this afternoon to go with us to look at the island. I'm having him spend his money on it and the new house I want in Missouri. He's ordering me a jet and bringing up the one he considers mine for us to fly back.”



“You've got a plane and don't use it?”



“It was Gino and mine. That should tell you how old it is.”



“If it's got low hours it might still be good.”



“I'm not willing to risk it. I'll fly it with us in it to South Carolina today and then get us back home and we'll see.”



Jaymes asked, “Why are we going to South Carolina?”



“I need to go get the blueprints for the house. He's bringing the construction man, so while we're out on the island, I'll be telling them where I want things and seeing if spending fifteen million on that out there will be but a start, or if it's going to get us what we need.”



He said, “I'm going up to get the shower.”



“Ok hon.”



She looked at me and asked, “What's going on?”



“He doesn't know about anything in regards to Kansas City or that I'm even involved. I'm sure his brain is going to perceive Dave as being a sugar daddy until I level with him.”



“Ok”



“I'm going up to get a shower. I feel funky and had planned on getting some clothes before I went to the photo shoot.”



“I'm sure he will have some.”



“IF he doesn't, it'll be a nude shoot for me.”



She laughed, “I'm sure he's had those.”



I went up and got the shower and came back down. She came over and ran her fingers through my hair. “Clive is going to meet us over there.”



“He's going to be there?”



“Yeah.”



“Ok.”



Jaymes came down and in no time we were out in the limo. Over at the studio, we climbed the stairs and went into what smelled like someone dumped a bottle of Lagerfeld.



Jaymes turned to me and said, “Man, that's strong!”



“Maybe that's supposed to impress us. All I can tell you is if I've got to do much, I'm sure going to get a window opened.”



Anna laughed, “I've never been here and maybe it's a good thing!”



“Hon, that man's making fifty grand an hour and I'll tell you my time is more valable than that.”



A man yelled, “Tina!”



“Fuck!” she said under her breath.



I turned and laughed, “Chi chi! You big old bitch! Where in the fuck is my money!”



She saw me making the interception so she couldn't get to Anna and she said, “I don't owe you any money honey!”



“Ok, I'll call David and get all your dvds, tapes, and starwares removed from my city. Then, I'm having all of them removed from my section of Vegas and THEN, I'm telling each of those theater owners if I see another one of your films in my cities, I'll burn the fucking places down.”



“Who ARE YOU!”



“Rhette Michaels bitch! And don't even pretend you stole Dominic from Mona because I'm collecting that score.”



“That's old news honey!”



“It took me that long to collect. With interest, I'll make it an even five million plus interest.”



“What!”



“Ok, you had that chance.”



I pulled out my phone and dialed Dave. “Yeah”



“Send the fella's out to all the theaters and tell them to remove all of Chi Chi's movies. You tell the theater owners if they ever contract to have another movie of the bitch's you'll have their theaters burned. Then, call Vegas and do the same thing.”



“What's going on?”



“I'm here to do the photo shoot and ran into the bitch. She owes me and Mona five million and doesn't consider it to be payable since it's an old debt.”



“Hand the phone over.”



I handed the phone and said, “Bitch, you dare throw that phone and I'll kill you here and now.”



She snatched the phone and said, “Who the hell is this!”



As soon as Dave said who he was, the drag queen lost all composure. I smiled and said, “Five million bitch!”



Anna herded Jaymes into the studio and I stood there. Chi listened and then handed me the phone, “I'm so sorry! I had no idea.”



“Five million and all the interest on those movies he was in. You stabbed a friend of mine in the back and I'll be damned if you get it off.”



“I'll get you paid.”



“I've been waiting nearly twenty years to be paid. You get the money transferred to the account he told you or I'll be shutting you down city by city until I'm at your studio and that's when they find your fat ass with a fucking hatchet in the middle of your back. After what you did to that friend, you sure as hell deserve it.”



“I need to leave. I'll get the money there.”



“When this is over, I want Dominic sitting in front of me being told what you did and there's no more royalties or contracts coming his way. You understand me?”



“How do I get ahold of you?”



“You don't. You call David and you pay him. You give him your phone number and I'll call you with where I expect you to show with him. I don't give a fuck what your schedule is, you either produce him before me, or I'll find both of you in your sleep.”



I turned and walked into the studio and Anna said, “She gone?!”



“Yeah, but not forgotten.” I turned to Stephen and said, “If you're producing for the bitch, our time just ended and not one photo gets taken of him!”



“Who ARE you!” he asked in a mewing tone of voice.



I walked over and held up my hand, “That should tell you who I am and it certainly should tell you if one fucking photo of this boy or me makes it's way to that bitch, I'll have you and her killed.”



“YOU are welcome to walk out of here now!”



I turned around and yelled, “Jaymes! We're out of here! I'll call Sal and tell him I just got disrespected.”



I pulled my phone and said, “Grocer” It dialed and real fast I heard, “Sal”



“Sal, Rhette Michaels.”



“Rhette! My God! A voice from the grave!”



“Sal, I'm buying an island out in the harbor. I know Dave should've called you.”



“He did. That's ok.”



“Sal, I need two cases of roasting chickens.”



He laughed, “Dave told me you'd hit me up for chicken!”



“Still wantin' to choke mine!”



“Oh man, that's been years ago!”



“Yeah, yeah it has! The real reason I called Sal is I'm over here at this man named Stephens and just got ordered from his studio. I need a few of your men over here to show him how I treat less than kind people.”



“They're on their way, where are you at?”



I turned, “Anna, what's this address?”



“I'm not sure of the number, but we're on 41st Street West.”



“It's on 41st Street West. I'll be the mad motherfucker double parked in a limo out in front of it.

Now, I want to ask you something else.”



“What's that?”



“Who's over your porn?”



“Lenny the freak.”



“Tell Lenny as a personal favor to me, all of Chi Chi's movies, dvds, and contracts just got removed from your city for the period of one year. The bitch owes me five million plus interest and I'm making life tough until I get it.”



“Ok, I'll make the call and I'll get them sent. Hand him the phone.”



“Sure.”



I turned around and said, “IF you throw that motherfucker, your body will never be found. Sal the Grocer wants to speak with you.”



He paled and took the phone. I turned to Jaymes and said, “I'll explain this in a moment. Right now, I'm pissed.”



Anna chuckled, “Clive hasn't even gotten here and Rhette's showing that man who's boss!”



Stephen handed me the phone and I said, “Sal?”



“Yeah Rhette, he's been told if he's not giving you respect damned fast he's going to be sorry as my men are on their way over there.”



“Thanks Sal.”



“It's going to be fun having you around!”



“I'll get off here and see what needs to happen.”



“Let my guys know.”



I hung up and said, “His men are on their way over.” I turned to Stephen, “I was willing to be nice, but I won't be anyone's fool. You having that fat bitch in this place this early in the morning just told me either she owes you, or you owe her.

Since SHE'S here, I'd say you owe her because I'd have you bring the money to me. Just the same, the fat bitch just got her eviction papers from this city and every major city in the United States for an old piss off. YOU on the other hand are about to decide whether you stay in business or not.”



He glared at me, “Is THIS what this was about?!”



“No, but I'm not going to let some fat back stabbing bitch get the pleasure of fucking me as hard as she did a good friend of mine. Now, I want all of the negatives you've got of Dominic.”



“Who's that?”



“Let's go into Chi's negatives. I'll find them.”



“I....I....don't have them here!”



The slap rang out and I grabbed him by his throat. “Anna! Open the fucking window!”



She opened the window and I duck walked him over. His head went out and I shut the son of a bitch. He was yelling “Police! Someone call the police!”



Anna yelled, “We need to get out of here!”



“No, they're not going to do anything.”



I heard Anna yell, “Clive!”



I turned and said, “Clive, Sal's already been called and his people are on their way. This fucker is about to be out of business and doesn't like the way I speak to him.”



Clive shook his head, “I'll straighten him out.”



He pulled the man in and said, “God Damn It Stephen! Rhette's about to have you killed and you're trying to keep pissing him off?! I don't know what you did, but he's mad!”



“I don't know WHO he THINKS he is, but no one speaks to me like that!”



That's when the backhand I let out sent him flying.



Clive went over and said, “For your information you DUMB son of a bitch, he's head of Kansas City mafia! If he's called Sal, he's already asked for permission to kill you and he got it.”



I said, “Sal's sending his men.”



Clive asked, “What's going on here?”



“Before I meet this man, I'm pissed off by Chi Chi being here.

Chi owes me a debt from twenty years ago and I just got permission to shut the bitch down for a year in this city, Kansas City, and Vegas. You SHOULD know as soon as I get a call to Los Angeles, that will be shut to him as well. When someone's distribution channels are shut down, they're out of business. That's what I think of him!

Now, with Chi being here, this man is most likely sidelining taking stills or some sort of shit for Chi. I demanded Chi's negatives and he doesn't deny he's got them, he's trying to tell me they're not here. Well, we'll see when Sal's men get here because this place is about to be torched.”



Stephen said, “I'll get you the negatives. They're in here.”



I swung around punched, “That's for yelling for someone to call the police when I slammed your head in that window for that lie fucker!”



I turned to Clive, “I want all of Chi's negatives in here. They ALL go with me. The bitch isn't going to have them to go on the internet under some fictitious name selling anything.”



My phone rang, “Yeah Dave”



“They're about there. Don't hurt him!”



“He's now believing life went bad for him.”



He laughed, “Sal's men are out front!”



“Ok, I'll try keeping a sane second left in my reserve.”



“If I know you, it's already bad.”



“Yeah, he's already had his head slammed in a window and been screaming for people to call the police.”



“Then get out of there!”



“No, I've come here for something and I'll damned well get it or finish him before this is done.”



“Now! Simmer Down!”



“I'm cool. I need to get off here.”



I hung up and heard the boots coming up the stairs. I went into the waiting area and said, “Guys, for now, I'm getting Chi Chi's negatives. Get on your phones and get Lenny the freak over here.”



“He's on his way.”



“Ok. For now, keep the police at bay.”



“They're not coming.”



“Ok, let's go in here.”



I went in and said, “Anna, meet the fellas. Jaymes, meet New York's finest.”



“The police?”



“No, these are the one's you call when you need help. They're the ones you call when you want shucked and jived.”



“Who are they?”



“Mafia.”



“Are you really the head of Kansas City's mafia?”



“You see that ring? It's the power of the city. I got it from the man who was over the city. Because I wear that ring, it gives me the power. So, yeah, in a way, I'm head of it.”



“Man!”



“This afternoon, you'll meet David who runs it for me. He gets the bitch of the job and I get to live a normal life. These guys here make sure Sal remains a grocer as they do Dave's job here for Sal.”



Clive came out and said, “Rhette, there's a lot of them.”



“Ok guys, let's go get them. Then, I want Lenny to have them. He's to hold them until I get my five million and the interest on it. With it being a debt nearly twenty years old, I probably own that fat bitch.”



“Damn!”



“Yeah, she stole a model from a friend of mine and turned him into a porn star. She used him to make a fortune, so I'm sure it's all on the negatives.”



We went into the file room and I said, “Do you have all the negatives for Chi in these files?”



“They're all alphabetical instead of by who is whose.”



“Well, you just lost all of them.” I turned and said, “Take all of the negatives and get a Uhaul here. We'll sort them and get them back to him which we're not after.”



“You can't do that!”



I turned around and said, “Ok, we kill you and we kill the fat bitch and no one lives who tells me I can't do something, so yeah, I can and will do what the fuck I want to do!”



I snapped, “Go out and take the shots of Jaymes. If you refuse to do that, it's your death warrant.”



I turned, “One of you, go see he takes pictures of Jaymes and if he doesn't, throw the man off the roof and be sure he bounces at least once.”



Stephen walked out and I said, “Ok, All these negatives go.”



A man walked in, “Rhette?!”



“Yeah.”



“Lenny.”



“Hi Lenny, here's the situation...well, let's go out here while they start loading all these files out of here.”



We walked out and I said, “Jaymes, if the fucker asks you to take anything more than your shirt off, don't do it.”



“Ok”



I walked over and said, “Lenny, here's the deal. Somewhere in all those files are Chi Chi's negatives. That man said he filed them according to their names and not according to who hired the work done. I find that unlikely, but here's the deal.

As of now, Chi Chi is out of business in this city. Get all the dvd's, movies, tapes, and magazines with the bitch's work in it off the shelves and destroyed.”



“What's going on there?”



“Let me be a little vague when I tell you I had a friend who had a harem of fine young men in three mansions. He owned a railroad and cultivated the young men into fine young lovers for a lot of influential people.

They prospered and the agreement when one of the boys signed on, was they understood they were being groomed for that and it happened.

What did NOT happen was no one ever wen to the man's house and spirit away a boy for their own purpose of use.

Chi did that. He came and he used the boys and then took the one with the largest dick back and made him a star for gay porn. The kid became a star and as you and I know, Chi made the money, not the talent.”



“Yeah.”



“Well, for nearly twenty years, I've sat on that debt for that friend. That friend died and I'll take on the debt myself for that friend's memories.”



“Ok, so what's the debt.”



“Five million without interest for twenty years. You figure that interest at the rates we get and you'll see a fortune is owed here.”



“Ok, do you want the 30% or the 300%.”



“DO 30% as he didn't actually come up and borrow the money. I'm pissed, but that sort of math would be something like several hundred million dollars.”



“Probably more than that!”



“Do the thirty percent and have Sal stand on it. I'll tell you I'd rather see the bitch dead than forgiven.”



“I understand.”



“So, what your job will be since this dumb fuck can't do it the way he needs to do, is you've got to go through these and NOT take anything which isn't Chi Chi's. I know it's going to be tempting, but Sal's going to profit in this as well as me, so we've got to do it reputable.”



He nodded, “Ok”



“This man out here needs to be made to realize no one speaks to me the way he has. He's more dumb than he is smart, so it's a chore.”



“Who's the kid?”



“He's a future star.”



“Porn?”



“No. Do you remember the show, “Courtship of Eddie's Father?”



“Yeah.”



“We're trying to buy the rights and have him be the son and his Dad who looks just like him be the father. They'll model for toys and be spokesmen for a lot of things as well as be on that show.”



“So you came here and just happened onto Chi Chi?”



“Yeah, but this early in the morning, I'll tell you that man is on Chi Chi's payroll. Rather than letting him think I'm going to let that stupid act fly, I'm taking all the negatives and sorting them.

IF we find none of Chi Chi's negatives, you best know we're taking an army into Chi's studios and we're going to take everything called a hard drive and movie in the place. Then, we're going to burn the motherfucker.”



“He's got a studio here.”



“Ok, then do it here. Then, I want to know what websites he's got up and I want them shut down. He's out of business for a year.”



He nodded, “That kid's on drugs.”



“He's off them now.”



“Did you pay for his teeth?”



“Yeah.”



“I can tell they're veneers. No one's teeth are that perfect.”



“When you see that kid in this city, you treat him like you were treating me. Who you're seeing in him is my heir, but he doesn't know it.

Now, what I want to do is I need to have Sal told absolutely everyone selling drugs is to know that kid there doesn't get sold to. IF they do, I'll kill them myself for the respect shown. Then, I'm going to probably take the kid out for a long boat ride and tell him it's either sink or swim, but no one who goes back with me will ever touch a drug again and live and I mean that.”



“It's some bad shit. I know a lot of them on it.”



“I imagine, but that kid there does NOT date unless it's authorized. He's got a boyfriend and that boyfriend will be a co-star on that show. He doesn't know that, but I'll make his world comfortable to keep him safe.”



“You said his Dad will be a star?”



“Yeah. His Dad and he look identical...well, he's thirty pounds lighter than he is normally and his Dad is thirty pounds heavier, so I'm rehabbing him and dieting his Dad.
His Dad is an ex of mine from high school, so now you know that link and why the kid is in my heart.”



He nodded, “You don't know me from Adam and you're telling me all this? I don't get it.”



“Because it's all to be told to Sal. I want him to know that kid there is the future of what I've got and he's to be protected just as much as anyone else who's in line.”



“But he's gay!”



“And I'm gay. I got this ring by being Gino's lover, not any other way. Dave respects it and I'll tell you I think it's pure bullshit I got the ring instead of he, but we run it with Dave operating like he would normally and I bring home the bacon to back us.”



“Your city is rich. I do know that.”



“It ought to be! We invest in sure fire investments. You don't buy anything at Valentines without putting money in my pockets and most of Easter is mine from the little ducks to most of the chocolate candies.
At Back To School, you line my pockets. At Christmas, you really line my pockets with most of the name brand toys and the cards, so that's how we make it.”



“That's smart.”



“A whole lot of the hotels are ours. There are malls, and stand alone stores also, but there are large holdings. Dave manages it and he owns the snack cakes which are now coming out with my products faces on them.”



“I saw that! My grand daughter had to have one!”



“That's why we did it. That impulse buy gave us a dime profit.”



He laughed, “You know the business.”



“The key there is to know all of it but not run it. It'd drive me insane with all the details if I did.”



“So Dave runs it and makes everyone think he's head of it.”



“He's not just my right hand man, but both of my hands and feet in it. I live a normal life otherwise and he takes the heat, but the moment he gets in trouble, you know who comes in swinging the death axe.”



“I heard that about you too! It's old news, but those around for a while know.”



“Yeah, it was a long time ago.”



As we talked, I watched Jaymes pose and be posed. The camera kept click-whirring and then, I said, “Excuse me, he's treating the kid like it's a fuckin' fashion shoot. He need audition stills.”



I want over and said, “Stephen, he needs audition stills. He's most likely going into a sitcom and be our spokesman for toys.”



“Ok, he's doing great. Take a look there. The camera loves him and he's a natural.”



“Get me some audition stills and I'll get off your ass. Before you end it with him, I want some with him which are more sensual.”



I stepped back and he said, “Ok, we need to pose you.”



I walked over and said, “That man is good, but if I knew that's what his job entailed, I'd sure gotten better shots.”



“You a camera buff?”



“Not really, but I'm in advertising, so I've got good equipment. Last Summer, a friend of mine got married and hired a professional photographer. Her Mom asked me to shoot some stills, so I went to the rehearsal and got them most of the ones which turned out to be decent. The professional woman had flaws in every one of hers which made me cringe.”



“You've got a good eye.”



“I need to step in here a moment. If I'm going to be a star, I need to have him with a track record.”



“What's that mean?”



“Me being a star, or him needing a track record?”



“Well....both.”



“Clive over there is going to push me singing. For him, there's no way in hell he'll pass as being straight so he needs the world thinking he's stable and only with people long term.”



“Oh!”



I went over to Clive, “Got a moment?”



“Yeah.”



“Have you decided how you're going to sell me?”



“No.”



“Dave and I talked and I already know there's thought going around about me being a sexier version of RuPaul.

I'll do it, but I'm going to insist having parts of my show where I'm out there as a guy. I'll hook them selling the fantasy, but the moment you think about phasing out the guy part of the show, I'll hold you in breach of my contract and yes, it will be in the contract.”



“Ok, I'm still unsure if we can sell it.”



“Listen. The way it goes is we sell the fantasy on MTV without saying I'm a guy or a girl. We get about ten vids under my belt and then, we'll do it so I'm dressed as a guy and have people wondering if I'm a girl dressing in drag to look like a guy, or if I'm a guy dressing as a girl. When the questions roll in, we'll deflect them and keep that train on track.”



I went over to Stephen, “I need some clothes and accessories. If you've got something in a size 4 petite, I'll dress in drag for the shots with him and then, will make a few for my career.”



“Back there. There are racks of clothes.”



I turned, “Anna, you wanna help me?”



“Sure hon!”



We went back and I started going through racks and she asked, “What are we doing?”



“I need complete outfits with accessories. I need super hot and sexy, but I need a water bra and or a bustier.”



“Here's one.”



“Ok, we'll work around this, but tell Clive I'll need him to lace me in this fucker. You might tell Lenny we'll need him too.”



“Really?!”



“In order to get boobs hon, the water bags have to push something up. I don't have much loose skin to do it otherwise.”



She left and I took off my shirt and put it on. They came back and Clive smiled. I said, “Guys, you're going to have to do the tightest lace you've ever seen. Don't stop until you hear ribs break, or I tell you to.”



They pulled and I put the bags in. Then, we went up another eye one by one until they had it at the top.



“Ok, tie me off and let me get used to breathing. Now, I want that lace dress with that bolero. It's going to be fine over this with jeans for my pics with him, and it'll be fine with the dress over it. I'll need some mules in black patent.”



Clive and Lenny looked at each other and I said, “Anna, tell them what the hell a mule is so they can get them.”



She laughed and got them for me. “Guys, these are mules.”



I put the bolero on and she said, “Oh man! That's nice!”



“There are some chocolate leather pants over there with some suede boots which look 80's, but that white shirt will do good also with that hat. That should be all we need.”



I walked out and onto the shoot. I leaned over and threw my hair and said, “Jaymes, these are to be sensual shots. You hold nothing back and I don't either. It's fantasy, so you do what you need and I'll do what I need. The goal here is to keep clothing on.”



I turned to Stephen and said, “This bolero will come off. If you tell me or he to remove anything of his, we're done.”



He nodded quickly and I said, “Put a filter on so it's dreamy. You might want a filter on that light over there so it shows no scars here, and no, I won't go on the other side and no, I'm not going to throw my hair different.”



Jaymes said, “You need to get rid of the beard.”



“Damn! Stephen, do you have any Magic Shave or Nair?”



“Yes, back there. Come here, I'll show you.”



We went back and I said, “My career is going to have me being androgenous at first. Guys are going to think I'm a girl and girls are going to wonder.

Then, after we get the videos under my belt and records sold and my talent shown, we'll start by making people think I'm a girl dressed in drag as a man singing as a man for that part of the program. People will wonder, but I can carry it...but the faster this is lasered off, the faster we'll have that done.”



“You've got striking eyes. I've seen them somewhere before.”



“You have, my sister is on a show on NBC.”



“Really?”



“Tuesday nights. She's one of the trainers.”



“Oh!”



“Before my face got caved in and made to look like I got ran over by a bus, we didn't look a like. Now, you see the eyes show you we're family.”



“I never noticed the scars until you mentioned them.”



“I normally wear make up to blend them.”



“Over there is the makeup.”



“Thanks.”



The Nair did it's job. Fortunately, I'm practiced enough using the stuff to know when I feel the heat, it's time to take it off because by the time I feel the burn, it's real burned.



At the make up table, he stood behind me and said, “You really know how to do that good!”



“I was trained to be a mortician. It's not much different except less pancake and more blending.”



“Your skin tone is beautiful.”



“That's my daddy. He's Italian. My Mom is high country German, so she's got great cheekbones and eyes. People swear she's Judge Judy at first glance.”



“Was your Dad fine boned?”



“No, he's burly. My brothers got his build and I got my Mom's. Well, my Mom and my sis are bigger than me. Jilli's a size six and Mom's a size 8/10.”



When the makeup was done, I blended into my neck and said, “It should be good for this side, but be careful not to get my eye drooping. I'll try, but it gets lazy. I do want a few from behind me showing there's an ass and it looks female.

I'll get more into that when we have my part of the shoot.”



“Do you have some of your work?”



“Yeah, it's on my laptop. Do you have some speakers?”



“I've got a computer there.”



We went out and I walked over to Clive. “I need my laptop or the cd from last night for me to be in character.”



“Is your laptop down in the limo?”



“Yeah.”



“I'll go get it.”



I went over and Jaymes' eyes lit up. I asked, “Better?”



“Yeah!”



Stephen said, “Ready?!”



I nodded and the camera began I said “Put your moves on me fella.”



“What do I do?”



“I'll lead and you follow.”



I put my head on his shoulder and Stephen said, “Eye!”



I looked up and he said, “Much better!”



I turned my head and nuzzled into his neck and licked up to his ear. I bit gently and Stephen said, “Great!”



I kissed down his jawline and when we got to his lips, I kissed gently. We rubbed noses and I smiled and threw my head back.

He brought his hand up and ran it into my hair and behind my head and pulled me forward into a kiss. I leaned back and pulled him so he was leaning over me.



I leaned forward and we got close again. “Take my jacket off slowly from behind after nuzzling into my hair. I'll be turning into you as we make out.”



“This is making me hard as hell!”



“I know I can feel it.”



I turned to Stephen. “Readjustment.”



I turned and pulled over a stool and sat on it. “Hang on, let me readjust in my jeans and make sure it's tucked. You look for any sign in your view finder and see if we've got it.”



“Ok”



I stood up and dropped my pants down and open. My thong showed and I tucked.



“Can I have a photo of him kissing you like that?”



“Three photos like this. Him up here kissing. Him with his hand inside and one with him kissing down there. Then, that's it.”



Jaymes smiled, “You sure?”



“Oh yeah, it'll be hot and will be steamy.”



We kissed hard and Stephen said, “Got it!”



I said, “Put your hand in my pants, but not under the band of my thong. It's porn in some parts of the world if your hand goes under the band. It's advertising if you don't.”



He put his hand in and Stephen said, “Pull your hand out SLOWLY”



I heard the click-whirs and then he said, “Got it!”



Jaymes went down and I turned a little. I said, “Kiss right on that band. If you kiss it with your top lip and your bottom below, you're green light. If both lips come off, you're red light.”



Stephen laughed, “You know this stuff!”



Jaymes kissed and Stephen said, “Slower while looking up at her.” I threw my head back and opened my mouth. Stephen yelled, “Perfect!”



My looking up while my head was thrown back so my eye didn't droop was making me have vertigo. When Stephen yelled “Got it!”



I said, “Hang on, we've got to take a break.”



I walked away staggering and said, “Me having to look up with my head back made me dizzy.”



Anna came over and said, “I don't know where you're going to sell that, but those shots are hot!”



“You didn't listen to the songs I was working on early this morning?”



“No.”



“Hang on, I've got them. They're rough, but El can help me polish them.”



I went over and opened my laptop. I sent the music into my flash drive and then put it into Stephen's computer, “Clive, here are the songs I wrote this morning. Think of these shots for a video.”



I began playing 'You Can't Do That To Me' and the funky beat mixed with the stripper's beat and melody made it hot.



I walked over and he asked, “You wrote that this morning?!”



“Yeah, but I wrote that ballad too. “



I went over and said to Jaymes, “That song and this here is going to be a video.”



“Cool!”



Stephen came over and asked, “Is that you singing?!”



“Yeah.”



“My God you're good!”



“That's what Clive says. It takes me being in drag to sell it, but I can do it.”



I went over to the guy and Lenny, “Too far out for you?”



“You're a master of disguises!”



“It's nothing but make up, clothes, and a water bra.”



“But you LOOK like a woman!”



“Let's hope! I can't sell me singing like that in a tuxedo.”



“That's you!”



I stood back and went into the song. He smiled and said, “Wow!”



I walked back and when the highs got Mariah high, I sang and then in the instrumental part, I said, “Folks, that was the orgasm you never see.”



They laughed and I said, “That kiss there will be at that point. It's erotic, sensual, and will sell me some albums. Guys will wish they were him and girls are going to either wish to sing like me or wish they were me with the way he makes out.”



I sat on the stool and said, “Let Jaymes and I practice this with him removing my jacket from behind. I want him to look like he's reaching in and touching my boob, but he's really loosening my jacket off my shoulder.”



The song started again and I said, “Ok, Jaymes, get your hand in here. It's GOT to look like you're copping a feel of my boob. I want women to wonder how you got my jacket off doing it.”



He tried again and I said, “Hang on a moment, let me show you how to do it. Put this on. Now, sit here and I'll show you magic in undressing someone.”



I looked up at Stephen and said, “I want him nuzzling down here. He's reaching in and you don't see the fingertips touching, but what he's doing is nuzzling, touching, and his right hand is pulling at the sleeve top and it's coming off.”



Anna came over and said, “In all my years of being undressed, I've never seen that before! Do it again!”



I smiled, “Hon, this is called the, 'Kevin came home, he's tired and doesn't want to fuck, so I take his coat off and by the time that coat's off, he's undressing like a fireman' move.'”



She laughed, “You're devious!”



“With Jaymes doing it on me, it's telling the world, “I've got experience, I know what I'm doing, and if I undress you like this, you're going to be mine when I'm done.” This video puts him in a league of being sexy and adorable and having girls of all ages wanting the little shit. It builds his rep at the same time it builds mine.”



I stood back and said, “Ok, let me put it on and you try it. The key is the slight of hand pulling that shoulder and sleeve top. If you don't get it between your thumb and forefinger tight, it's not going to come back and down.

When we get that shot done, we'll go to the other. By then, you're leaning forward and I'm leaning back and I do WANT you able to be seen Frenching me deep. Ok?”



“Ok”



I said, “Stephen, you might have to come over here to get the kiss.”



“Ok, plot it out for me again so I can see.”



I said, “Jaymes, sit here and put the jacket on. I'll take us through it in slow and then in actual time. It's going to be fast, so realize these pictures are going to only get part of the action.”



“Ok”



I stood behind him and said, “You ready?” and Stephen nodded.



I leaned in and nuzzled in his hair. Then, I leaned my hand in and pulled. The jacket came off the shoulder and I leaned in and kissed him French as I pulled him back. My hand slid across his nape to the other shoulder and inside, and push and it was down.”



Stephen said, “Man! I didn't see you get the other shoulder off!”



“As I'm kissing, I'm sliding my hand from that shoulder over and pushing that one off. Because he's leaning back and his arms are down, the fall happens.

What this scene here is showing is my subservience to him and he's winning that battle.

You the viewer knows he won the battle with that kiss inside my pants, but he knows he's won with this jacket. After that, it's back to the front of us but lying down.”



I turned, “Now Clive, here's the key to this whole thing. When this video starts, you see the pictures flashing like they're on a wall with a slide projector. It's pretty far out.

Then, as it gets more into the song and it gets more intense, that camera is moving forward and showing us that we the viewer are more interested in being the voyeur.

Now, what you don't realize is as these pictures are in close and tight, the perspective has changed. We know we've gotten the viewer and by the end, I want the shot to pull out and show her feet and her dropping pictures on the floor.

What's great about that is they started off being a voyeur and in their interest, it becomes them and at the end, we show them it's them by showing it so they see themselves dropping the pictures on the floor.”



“Nice!”



“The song is defiance. It's saying 'You can't do that to me' but any manipulator knows when the victim shows interest, he's won. Through all these shots, we're showing how he wins and how their mind put them in that position by wishing it was them.”



Stephen was smiling, “Oh man! When you win the award for this video, I'd like to be there and be a part of it!”



Clive nodded, “Of course and you know it's different enough it's going to make people want to watch it several times to see if their mind was playing tricks on them, but it'll make them think about why the perspective changed and when it hits them, they're going to realize the brilliance of it. I'll tell you now, I love it.”



I said, “Well, let's get this shot and then we can have us laying on the floor with the shot from up above of us making out. We'll be in clothes and really hot and what's key there is it's eroticism because the viewer saw us making love with our clothes on which is typical teen stuff.

It'll appeal to the ages because teen boys are going to watch it for the hotness of it and the girls are going to watch it and men and women will watch it for their own reasons which are more mature.

The whole part of this, Clive, is it's as androgenous as this whole thing. The only way I could make it more androgenous would be if I were playing the part of him and then as me in drag. IF I could get that off, it'd be way over the top...but getting both sexes interested for different reason is good enough.”



Clive laughed, “I wish I could give it to you that you'd be able to get to make love to yourself, but it'd take tons of computer shots in videoing it done.”



“That's ok, we're needing it for Jaymes to have his rep built. If he doesn't have a rep as being my lover after this, then he's got some damned dumb fans.”



I sat on the stool and said, “Ready Stephen?”



“Yeah, we might need to get through this a few times.”



“That's ok.”



Jaymes came in and nuzzled. I turned in slightly and he leaned forward and slid his hand in. He kissed me with depth and pulled the shoulder. I leaned back as his hand went across my shoulder and I saw Stephen drop down getting the shot from the side lower. The jacket fell and he said, “Oh man, I got it!”



Jaymes didn't stop kissing and I pushed his tongue back with mine.



“I can't stand up.”



“Why?”



“I'm leaking like hell!”



“That's ok.”



I turned to Stephen and said, “See if you got the wet spot in your shots. If not, we need to lean me back and us kiss so you have it.”



He smiled, “It's borderline with that, but from the outside, I'd say it would be ok. They might ask us to remove the one shot, but most might not notice.”



“I think that's in Holland where you can't show that.”



He went over to the computer and asked, “Can I hear the others?”



“Hang on, I'll put on what I recorded last night. Is it ok Anna?”



“Sure!”



I said, “Guys, it's break time. We'll let you guys hear a tidbit of her new concert we'll be performing in a few months.”



I put it on and it had us going into 'Mary'. I said, “That's she and I practicing together.”



Anna came over and said, “It's hard because you can't tell who is singing what voice. He mimics mine to perfection.”

She turned to me and started singing which I followed. Stephen ran over and got a photo and Lenny was definitely surprised. The other guys were standing there in a group and then when it was over, I said, “The next two songs are going to be me as a guy.”



When 'Love Ain't No Stranger' started, I kicked it in as a man and then, I hit a female version and went high with a Kelly Clarkson sound. Clive came running over and said, “Oh man Rhette!”



When 'I Said I Loved You But I Lied' came on, it took me going super high like Mariah, but more like Sarah Brightman, but I took it female. What's funny is Clive's running around me and somewhere when I hit a high, a glass broke and several of the guys all cheered.



When it was done, I said, “Break time is over”



I looked over at Anna and she had tears. I smiled, “You're a big old softy!”



“Honey, that voice is operatic and the tone you hit with it makes it like operatic soul. I have no idea how you hit those highs.”



“I think it's this fucking bustier!”



She laughed, and I went over to the rack and pulled a black back curtain and lay it on the floor. I lay on the floor and Jaymes lay down. He looked into my eyes, “Rhette, I'm going to be honest and tell you I'm probably going to jack off thinking about this for a long time.”



I smiled, “Honey, what I want you to do is not say a thing about this to your Dad. When the video comes out, show it to him and say, “One of the hottest things I ever did. I can't see why you gave him up!”



He laughed, “He'll feel bad.”



“I'll tell you he already feels bad. I only hope he and Skip find a relationship.”



Stephen brought over a ladder and said, “It's all wrinkled.”



“Yeah, and sex with me usually is the sort where the sheets get ripped off the bed, so there will be a part here where I'm going to clutch it and I want you to show there's floor under it and have a shot at us from the side showing it's floor.”



“This is one of the hottest clean shoots I've done.”



Jaymes asked, “What do you want me to do?”



I turned to Stephen and said, “I'm going to do the more intense shots first. That way we've got them and all the others will be done in reverse so the pinnacle is already met and we're coming down from it. When we put them in reverse sequence, it'll look ok.”



“Ok”



I lifted my knee up and Jaymes laying between my legs on top of me, I whispered, “Put your hand on my thigh” I clutched the sheet and asked, “What's it look like?”



“I need to go higher. Hold it”



Jaymes leaned forward and kissed me. “I like kissing you. It's intense.”



“You're already boned, you little shit!”



“Can you feel it?”



“Yeah, it's trying to saw my dick from my sack.”



“Oh! Sorry.”



“Don't move!”



Stephen said, “Got it!”



I straightened the sheet and asked, “What's the sheet look like?”



“It's ok.”



I put my arms up on both sides of his head and hugged him to me with both knees raised.



“Got it!”



I lowered my knees wrapped my ankles behind his knees. “Get that one”



“Got it!”



I put my hands down on his butt and said, “Move your arms out from under my shoulders and turn your head like we're really kissing.”



He Frenched me and Stephen said, “Got it!”



I said, “Stephen, come down and get the side profiles. You might try both ways.”



He came down and I said, “We need a shot of us rubbing noses and then one of you leaning your head back smiling.”



Stephen said, “Rhette, I think if I show you with me laying sideways, so you're looking like you're upright and then, I take and show you laying down, it'll make more sense to the viewer.”



“Ok, do us kissing with that one shot.”



“I'm ready.”



We kissed and then Stephen said, “Got it, but hold it.”



“Ok” I said. I said, “Jaymes, I'll make you laugh and we'll have real laughter.”



“Ok”



Stephen said, “Ok, kiss.”



We kissed and he said, “Got it.”



I held ahold of the back of his head and blew into his mouth and then let go. When we parted, we were laughing and he leaned back.



“Got it. That's great!”



“One of us rubbing noses and then we're done.”



Jaymes leaned forward and I put my arms under his pits and hugged him to me.



“Oh man, that's good. I got it!”



Jaymes got up and I stood up. “Ok, I'll change and then, it'll be real fast now.”



I ran in and shucked my clothes. In a flash, I was in the camel pants and the white shirt. I put on the hat and the boots and ran back out.



The guys saw me and I could tell I looked good. Their eyes told me. Clive said, “Man Rhette, that's hot!”



“I've got a shot of me with a hat someplace where my hair is longer. It's one of my favorite shots.”



I leaned behind the stool and put my elbow on it with my chin on my hand. Stephen snapped it and then, I took the hat off. “Got it!”



“Let me sit down here with the hat in my lap and be at angle.”



“Ok”



I posed and he said, “Got it. That's a nice shot.”



“I'm going to lean forward here on the table. I want a side shot showing me in profile with my ass.”



“Ok”



He walked over and said, “Raise your foot so your toe is down.”



I did it and he said, “Perfect. Ok, I got it.”



“Now one with me leaning with my chin in my hands and then, I'll hold that and you can do one from a bit more of a three quarter shot from behind. Then, that will be it.”



“I want one of you from the front standing and smiling.”



“Ok, My dentist will love you!”



He laughed.



When the shots were done, I ran into the back and got changed. When I came back out, I said, “Ok, dump your camera into your computer and give me copies of the shots. That way, I've got proof of what was taken and know you've got what you need for the prints.”



“I can get the prints to you in a moment.”



I went over and made a file on my flash drive and then, when he got them into his file, I said, “Ok, we'll put the copy in here and we'll see if it went. While you're in your computer, let me see if you've got any of Chi's people there.”



“I don't. This is the professional stuff.”



“Ok, don't let me find out you didn't give me what I needed. That fucker owes me something of a fortune with all that money tallied.”



“You really don't like him!”



“Stephen, the first time I met that fat bitch, she tried disrespecting me and I let it slide. Then, she did it again by trying to treat me like hired help in someone else's house. The third, unfortunately was by a swimming pool. I didn't let it go and sent the bitch flying in.

Mona saw what happened and fished the bitch out and I made sure I was standing there to see if she had nerve to try to hit me so I could knock her back in. She didn't. She was smart enough to leave it alone.”



“She took one of Mona's boys?”



“Yeah.”



“Oh man, that's where I got my start. I'm sorry. I didn't know that!”



“Mona was pissed. I'll tell you she was, but she's classy and didn't show it in front of guests. Me, I wasn't a guest in any of those mansions. I had keys to them all and could go there whenever I wanted to live the good life in the form of a cheap vacation.”



“How'd you meet?”



“I was tending bar at the Windjammer and consciously made it a point of not drinking that night. All night long, I drank orange juice which there, they had Tang on the speedrail. At closing time, someone bought me three beers and I chugged them.

As fast as I put them down, they came up like a volcano hitting that OJ. I went running and while people laughed, Mona came in and helped me sort myself out.

As you know, Mona's twin Myra was sniveling about Mona making he wait to be seen going to the limo at closing time.”



He laughed, “Yeah, that was Myra's thing. It was like her saying, 'I've got a limo and you don't!'.”



“Yeah, but I was sick that night, so I called Gino and he sent his limo down. What you don't know was wherever that limo went, it ALWAYS got preferential treatment at the front doors and the driver was pissed.

He pushed their limo up the street with Gino's and of course, Myra was shrieking like she was being stabbed that someone was ruining the limo.

Well, Mona yelled, “God Damn It Myra! It's a car! He's a human! Cars fix! People don't! IF you can't wait one minute, then walk!”



He laughed and I said, “Well Myra hit a piss mood and left Mona there. Mona shrugged and said, “Well, It's not like I've not walked before.”

So, I gave her a ride home and in that moment, our friendship was born and it lasted all the way to me going to prison and Mona died.

You sure don't know how it was for me when I heard she's died and I was stuck in that place. It was worse than when I'd heard Gino died because it was when I was in there early on.

By the time Gino died, I was in there and was really jaded. By then, I knew I couldn't show emotions.”



“Sounds rough.”



“It was. I grew up in there and now, I know all too well how to manipulate. That video we did there is pure manipulation and me showing I can do it.”



When I had the shots in my drive, I said, “Clive?”



“Yeah Rhette.”



“Here's the other song I wrote. Listen to this melody and hear the words. It's a pull over song for sure.”



I played, “Baby, I'm sorry.” and put the volume up loud. Everyone stopped talking and I went over to Anna and sang along.

Somewhere in the third verse, the tears started rolling and she nodded. I turned and saw all the guys were standing there with tears rolling.

Stephen let out a huge boo-hoo-hoo-hoo and at the end, like 'The Rose', I sang the title of the song, 'Baby, I'm Sorry' the one time it was said in the entire song.



Clive came over and had tears, “Man that's sad! You get to the heart.”



“I wrote that and yeah, the melody isn't right, but I know what I want. I need a music box sound so it's like I'm in a nursery...where that baby won't be born.”



“Oh God. If you have a video like that, you'll make every girl who's had an abortion suicidal. Is that what it's about?”



“It's about that. It's about aborted hopes and dreams in failed relationships. It's about when we give up on ourselves and abort our own destinies. But, it's about murder too.”



When it ended, I said, “Guys, that's one of the songs I wrote this morning. You heard them and they'll be on my album. I imagine you thought it was good, but now you know why I call it a 'pull over' song. You have to pull over because you're crying so hard.”



They smiled, but you could tell it got to them.



“I'm not sure how the video of it will be. There were so many emotions going through me while I wrote it, I tried to write all the different reasons we end things and kill things off we love.”



Jaymes came over still crying. “You wrote that for me telling me why we can't be lovers, didn't you?”



“It started off that way.”



We left and Clive went with us to Anna's.



She said, “Rhette, that song is haunting me. You know I had an abortion. Didn't you?”



“Yeah, but I swear I didn't write it about that. It just worked out that way. I was writing it because I've slept with him two nights and nuzzled in his hair and really care for him.

When I got up, I went down and put the words I had going through me down. Then, the melody started and I really got lost in it because I was thinking of Kevin and I killing our relationship and the deaths I've seen and been a part of with being a mortician and the parents who had to bury three of their babies who fell through ice while skating.”



“Oh God!”



“The mama kept telling them she was sorry that she didn't know and didn't hear them even though I'll tell you that damned pond was too far from that house to hear them.

Basicly put, it was for all the times I've said I'm sorry and heard 'I'm sorry'.”



She said, “If you sing that song at the end, you'll have people crying all the way home.”



“Well, that's how I was after watching 'Brokeback Mountain'. I cried all the way home and for two weeks, all I had to do was hear that theme song and I'd bawl.”



“You know, I never saw it.”



“Really?! Oh man hon, it's in my hard drive. I'll put it on your system for you. It's like the number one of my favorites of all time. I'll tell you it kicked Beaches and Dying Young right out of their slots.”



“What was Dying Young?”



“It was another of Julia Roberts movies. She was hired by a guy to be his nurse. He knew he was dying and they went to a beach house. His relationship with his Dad was terrible and it was her attempts at forming a reconciliation which made it so emotional because to her, dying alone was the worst thing.”



“You know, that girl makes wonderful movies.”



Jaymes said, “Yeah, all of my favorites I think have her in them.”



I said, “Mine too. She's in Steel Magnolias...another one about death and if I think about it, my list has characters dying in it as my top favorites.”



“Really?”



“Yeah, but the one story I'm writing like that, I can't seem to get the thing written. I know what I want, but the emotions are too strong for me. It's a helluva love story because it's such a wonderful love story.”



Anna said, “Love Story, another movie about death I really loved. I'll tell you I bawled like a baby watching it, got the music box playing the theme and bawled, and when it won the awards, I bawled I was so happy it won.”



“I loved it too. It'd be awesome to remake it.”



“Oh!” She said surprised, “That'd be a hard movie to cast.”



“Not really, I'd put Brad Pitt in it and think it'd be awesome with Angie Jolie in it. Can you imagine the acting they'd do and how emotional it'd be for them?”



“Why would you cast her?”



“Because I know she'd cut her hair off to do it. Her going from beautiful and statuesque to bedridden and bald would be a hard thing to take with the extremes.”



I stopped talking because I was thinking about Kevin not coming to see me in the hospital and was thinking, 'At least he went and saw her'. I started humming 'Baby, I'm sorry' and the tear went down my cheek.



Jaymes said, “Rhette, cheer up!”



“I was just thinking about being in that hospital and feeling so alone without Kevin there. When I was talking about 'Love Story', I thought, “Well, at least he went and saw her'.



Anna said, “That song you wrote is haunting. You just hummed it and I can see it fitting that movie perfect.” I'll tell you there aren't many songs which get to me like that, but hon, you got me there!”



“What's neat about that song is it hits so many people so many ways. I knew looking at all those mafia guys hearing it, they're thinking about the people they've killed and just bawling.”



She laughed, “And Clive even cried! I'll tell you that man has shown more emotions with you than I've seen in the past twenty five years!”



“When we see Dave, I want to sing him the songs at your house and see what he thinks. I'll tell you now he'll love “You Can't Make Me' and will hate me for “I'm Sorry”.”



“Why?”



“Because he hates to show emotion in front of me.”

My cell phone rang, “Hello?”



It was El, “I just heard from Clive you've got not one but two chart burners which need polished. He told me you made that old stone cry!”



“Well, everyone cried in the room including Anna.”



“That's easy to do. She probably could be hired to be a crier at funerals.”



“You're bad.”



“Hon, some people can cry watching cat food commercials. Other people don't cry for anything.”



“In this instance, we had a whole room crying. It's a very haunting song.”



“When can I hear it?”



“We're going to get some lunch and then, get some clothes. Sometime this afternoon Dave will be in and we're going to look at the island. After that, I'll get with you and get you a flash drive or cd pulled off of them.

I do have the video filmed of the one and Stephen shot the photos.”



“What went on with him and you?”



“He pissed me off because he stood in between me and what Chi Chi owed me. It's never safe to stand there waving the red flag.”



“From what I heard, you took Stephen's negatives.”



“I took the negatives because he wasn't honest and forthright about handing over Chi's. Rather than stand there having him killed for lying to me, I took all of them.”



“Well, you probably got mine too.”



“No, those are in his computer. He said all the legitimate ones are in the computer. So, unless you had nude photos printed by him and got them published by Chi, you're safe.

I'm only taking Chi's pictures of his models.”



“Why?”



“Because if you owe me money and you want out the door to supposedly go pay me when it took me twenty years to chase you down, then I'm going to promise to put you out of business if you think you're going to run out on the debt.

The way it stands, this morning was the last second Chi is in business because I'll tell you when Sal and Lenny get through, they'll have everyone no longer contracting with the bitch stateside.”



“Why?”



“If I let you in my country after being overseas someplace taking photos of pretty people. And if I let you lie to me and tell me the pretty people are above age. And if I do all that to seek the portion of the profit you do and then, I find out you've pissed off someone who is a part of my family and then, find out you've violated a code in screwing over my family, I'm going to do as my family asks.

Chi stole a guy away from Mona and Mona couldn't fight for him. I didn't fight for him back then, but now, I understand the situation better. I'll tell you with the clarity I see it now, Chi's lucky she's not dead.”



“I think you did wrong taking Stephen's negatives.”



“I think Stephen's lucky all I'm taking are Chi's negatives instead of his life. I WILL tell you his negatives will be returned minus Chi's and then, I know he won't do business with Chi any longer.”



“Why?”



“Because Stephen didn't realize this was about Mona losing a boy. As soon as he found out, he was telling me he was one of Mona's boys and how he got his start. I believe Stephen has more loyalty than that.”



“Ok, I'm staying out of it. I'm sure you've got your reasons, but I think it's wrong.”



“El, let's put it in terms you understand. Let's say it's you me, Clive, Anna, and Chi. Let's say Chi stole Anna away from Clive and let's say you and I are standing there not understanding the whole jest of it back then.

But we're twenty years forward now and I'm understanding what happened and I see Chi at the record factory. Do I nod my head and say, “Hi, you fat bitch!”? Or, do I sluggo the cunt in her fat cocksucker and get Clive's memory back what was justly his?

I'm doing what is right and you're telling me it's not right to put the bitch out of business when her business is built upon stealing other people's people and making money from it.

I'll get Mona's memory back what it's got coming.”



“But Mona's dead, there's no way she knows or cares.”



“Right, but if it takes me stuffing a fat man's coffin full of the stuff and burying next to her, she'll have it and Chi won't.”



“Ok, I don't want to argue about that. I think what you're doing is right, but I also think due to Mona being dead, there's no way you can get her paid back.”



“Ok, Do you want to eat lunch with us?”



“No, I've got other plans already or I would.”



“Ok, give kisses around and know I'll get us together later.”



“Before I hang up, I want to hear the female versions of the two songs you did at Stephen's. Clive said you broke glass.”



“I think it was a cat trying to get out of the place. Rather than stay around the sounds I was making, he chose to risk life and limb to get out. It was killing him.”



He laughed and Anna gave off her chuckle. “Let me speak with her.”



I handed her the phone, “He wants you baby!”



They spoke and I looked over at Jaymes, “Clive's back there calling everyone giving me compliments about the caterwaul I was doing at Stephen's.”



“You can sing good.”



“Would you buy it?”



“Probably.”



“Why?”



“Because I like the two songs which are yours. If you get more like it, then you've got something which are yours and people know are yours.”



“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”



He smiled, “You wrote that about me, didn't you?”



“It started out about you. It was tough to write.”



Anna said, “You know that song applies to everyone at some time in their life. They know you found love and had to let it go. They know you had to let go of love to find the one which meant something to you. And, they know you more for it.”



“You're almost right there. That first verse was about him. The second was Kevin, but last night when we talked about adopting and I said I couldn't. That was the first time I realized I was selling out on that dream and hanging it up.”



Jaymes asked, “Why?”



“Hon, when you have a kid or kids, you've got to be settled. If you're not settled, it'll settle you. That's why the indians settle and that's why a lot of people tend not to move around so much when they have a kid.”



“What do you mean?”



“Ok, take a look at little Mikey. That kid might as well carry around his duffel bag on his back because he moves that often. If he ever gets his girlfriend out of grade school, they'll probably have a kid and then, he'll settle.”



He chuckled, “She's in Junior High.”



“And he's out of high school. The kid is dumb.”



“He doesn't spend much time with her.”



“IF she were my daughter, he'd not spend a second with her. He'd be told once and the next time, he'd be under arrest.”



“You told me Tony was older than him.”



“Yeah, and I'm more than that old with you. It doesn't stop the heart from feeling, it's what we've got to do to keep our asses out of jail.”



“I'm above age.”



“Jaymes, I've got Jess and if you'd like to remember, you've got someone way finer than me at home wanting you.”



“Do you think he wants me?”



“IF he doesn't, he's brain dead.”



“All he talked about was me and you. He wanted to know why we weren't together and tell me how hot he thought you were.”



I rolled my eyes and Anna chuckled. She handed me back my phone and said, “Elton wants you out on tour with him. He's not taking the word 'No' and said you can do it however you want.”



“Let me see. Jaymes said I need to write more of my own stuff. He said he's going to twist parts of my body to hear me hit those highs again.”



She laughed, “Do you realize how tiny your waist is with that bustier on?”



“Yeah, but it's not really. It's like Play-doh. You squeeze it around the middle and it goes out the top and bottom. How else do you think I could get a butt and boobs.”



“I saw you in that other outfit of Pink's. I happen to know you found those boobs without that bustier.”



“That one's different. If you knew how I had to start with the water bras, you'd see me with boobs under my pits. Then, we pushed them forward after the thing was tied.”



She nodded towards Jaymes, “That was a pretty steamy scene you two had.”



“Yeah, and it'll look good on the screen. Did you see the shots?”



“No.”



“Here, I've got them on my computer. Don't look too close because I sort of took what he had on his drive which has a jpeg file.”



She smiled, “You're slick.”



“When I put my music on his computer, I put a search in for all his jpegs and mpegs. It pulled them up and I pulled them onto my disc so I could be less obvious than with my flash drive. He looked at my flash drive, but he failed to realize I put the music on with my disc and got it back into my computer.”



She nodded, “You don't fully trust him, do you?”



“No, and that's why I mentioned I knew how many photos he took and wanted copies so I could prove our clothes were kept on. There's no editing or funny business that way. The only thing he'll be able to do is release them to some publication to take advantage of our fame, or to tell everyone we're guys. Neither of those hurt us.”



“You're going to play this fame stuff smart, aren't you?” She asked smiling.



“Hon, I worry about Jaymes. I don't worry about me. I already know how to handle fame because of you, my friends, and because of being in prison with about five thousand other guys on one side and about thirty five hundred on the other. All of those guys definitely looked at me, wanted to touch, and treated me like I was their personal entertainment. It took a lot of guts to get myself out of the situations and it took knowing how to manipulate them to keep them wanting me.”



She smiled, “Why'd you want them to want you?”



“When you're in there, you're looking at them. You're fantasizing and I'll tell you there are some fine super fine men in there. I knew if I had one at the front door coming into my parlor, I wanted one at the back door ready to come in should the one in the parlor not be working out because when you keep one on deck, it takes less time to get them into the parlor.”



I heard her chuckle, “Is this what you're doing with Jaymes?”



“No. With Jaymes, he's got a man. He doesn't know it, but he does. If he needs the reputation, I'll give it to him. If he doesn't, then he's got it to forget.

You know as well as I do when he comes up being famous, they're going to have some enterprising reporter go and look up the bad shit on him. They'll find that crack addiction and they'll find Joey.

When they do, I'm going to come swooping in saying, “Yeah, I got him out of it and we left Joey's ass in Missouri. There's a movie of the week about the bad news he provides and he can play himself for the 'after' part to show what is bad about Meth and Crack.”



“You're not afraid to take the bad on...is what I mean.” She said.



“No and here's why. In prison, knowledge is power. You don't do anything in there you don't want people to know about back home and you sure don't hide what you did back home in there.

The reason I sailed through it fine is because there wasn't anything hidden. I said, “Hell yeah I fucked with him! And if you weren't so God awful ugly, I'd fuck with you! Now that man over there is fine and I've got to go see what his dick is doing this afternoon because it's got my tongue all over it.”



She laughed, “That's blunt.”



“It wasn't a place for social graces. The only people I saw using a napkin were the guards when they pulled a shank out of someone's body. All the others had to do without.”



“I guess it's greatly different in there.”



“No, it's what you get out here if you underestimate how low people will go. DO you realize I had a joke for a long time about running for governor and getting it on my campaign slogan of “I'll tell”?

That should tell you the number of fella's I had in there and the number I knew were doing something in there. I figured if they let us vote, I'd sure stand a chance.”



“Would you have done it?”



“Yeah. There's a guy named James Keith in there. Hot looking as hell and dick from here to there.

Now, this guy was an idiot. First of all, he didn't practice what he knew. He thought he could bed me in there and not have it be known out here.

Where he fucked up is my Mom and I would talk up on visits and James always got visits at the same time. She saw our interaction and she saw him getting physical with the caressing in the back room where we got strip searched. She knew what was going on.

Then, James fell out of graces with me and shot his mouth off up at the visiting room with me sitting at the next table. He's sitting less than four feet away and he's like, “That fucker over there is a queer. He'd jump down on one like you wouldn't believe.”

The bad side of that was it was Christmas and he had his Mom, Dad, wife, kids, and all there. The bad side of it was you sure as hell knew I'd fuck with his world for saying shit which would embarrass my family.

I sat through that visit listening to him talk and then, finally my visit ended. Mom and Dad went out of the room and I sat at the table with my hands upon it like rules required. It didn't mean my mouth couldn't open.

I sat there and said, “James, you forgot to tell your wife and family the only reason you're talking shit about me is because you fucked up and got in debt otherwise we'd still be together and you DEFINITELY forgot to tell them the reason you saw me going down on one was because it was yours and because you were locked in that sixty nine you liked to do.”

About then, the guard nodded and I went over and grabbed him by the hair on the name of his neck and kissed him and said, “I'll be waiting out there for you. If you don't think I'm not going to whip your ass, think again. We both know you like it.”



Anna said, “Oh man!”



“Yeah, he cussed me and yeah, the threatened, but the guard came over and said, “Rhette, get to the back. I was planning on telling her when she left that he was lucky he wasn't getting beat down in here.”

I told him, “My parents mean too much to me to do that, but his family definitely needs to know they mean nothing to me. And, his wife needs to know she means nothing to him either for him not to be faithful.”



Jaymes said, “I'm surprised you didn't get beat up!”



“No, because my insurance was in the room. The man, who currently was in the parlor was the man who took photographs. He was built like Thor and looked that good...and, I know he was chewing his bottom lip off with the anger he had.

Now, he'd already met my Mom that day and she'd given her approval which meant for initial first impressions he was doing a great job. I'll tell you that's the biggest test because she means that much to me. I'll also tell you when she heard what he did after we left out of there and she totally gave her thumbs up.”



Anna asked, “Was that Kevin?”



“He was one of the Kevin's but not THE Kevin. He got out unexpectedly early and I lost track of him.”



Jaymes asked, “How many Kevin's were there?”



“Three. The first was a little guy who claimed to be a golden gloves boxer. We were together until he pulled something and I beat the hell out of him.

Then, as you hear, I played Ganip Ganaup with the fellas until the second Kevin came in. When he went home, I went through BatMike and the hardened crowd until Kevin and I wound up together. After that, it was all decided by fate.

Just the same, that was seventy two guys in less than two years.”



“Man!” Jaymes said smiling.


Anna said, “He wasn't happy. I'll tell you when he was out here, he wasn't happy either.

Rhette's someone when he's happy, he settles down. That point is telling me that the guy down in South Carolina isn't the one for him. He's saying he is, but if he were, that guy would be here, or he'd be there.”



“He's got his work.”



She nodded and said, “And you're wealthy enough to have him with you.”



“Maybe, but I won't support a man ever again. It cost me half my company the last time and an awful lot of self respect.”



She nodded, “That might be, but I know you.”



“When are we going to be where we're going to eat?”



“We're going up into Jersey. Clive wants us to see his favorite place.”



“And a helicopter couldn't've gotten us there fast?! He needs to remember what takes an hour and a half to get to takes an hour and a half to come back from.”



I pulled my phone and dialed it. “Yeah.”



“We're going someplace for lunch. When we get there, I'll call and give you the GPS coordinates. You might want to bring a chopper and come get us. It's taking fuckin' forever to get there.”



“I see where you are by your tracker.”



“Ok, I'm not complaining. I just wanted you to know what's happening.”



“Why up there?”



“Clive wants us to see his favorite.”



“It's Frank's Hideout. You're going to be there in about five minutes. You've met Frank. When you get there, tell the hostess Kansas City sends his greetings and she'll treat you right.”



“Ok, where did I meet him?”



“At the trial.”



“Ok, I won't mention meeting him.”



“Go ahead. Your face isn't the one he knows, so he'll need to get to know this one.”



“Alright, what's the house specialty?”



“Italian. None of it's as good as yours or my Dad's, but it's not hideous. However, I've heard it's getting bad.”



“Ok, I'll get to the kitchen first.”



He laughed, “Ok, I'll get up there with a chopper. We're about to land now.”



“Ok, thanks Dave.”



“No problem.”



I hung up, “I love that man. He sends me chill signs over the phone.”



“Really?!”



“We're going to a man named Frank's place. I'm to give a little signal to get good treatment and Dave's told me already if I want food as good as mine, I've got to get to the kitchen and cook it.”



She laughed, “That's SO not right, but you're probably right.”



“We'll be there in a moment. He's coming and is bringing the chopper. We can let the cars go back.”



When we got there, I vaguely remembered the place from being with Gino for some meeting between he and Sam, rest his soul.



Clive said, “Rhette, this is my little piece of Italy.”



“I've been here.”



“You have!”



“Gino brought me here when we had a meeting with Sam Giancanna.”



“Really?!”



“Our picture is on the wall. I'll take you to it as soon as I tell the hostess a code.”



We went in and were met by Tatianna. I smiled because I remembered her immediately. She took one look at me and I said, “Kansas City sends it's regards. Now get the twins over here and give me a hug.”



“Do I know you?”



“Hon, my face is different, but I know you and your sister like a little brother would. You're 'tits' and Lana is 'va-voom'!”



She smiled, “Rhette?!”



“Yeah dear. I'll show you why you don't recognize me as soon as I show them the photo of Gino and I on your wall and then get back to tell Frank-a-lino hi.”



She laughed, “Only you have called him Frank-a-lino.”



“Do you know why?”



She laughed, “Yeah, that's why I married him. It's not really as bent as you said it was.”



We went over and I put my hand on Jaymes' shoulder. “There's Gino, Sam, and me before when I was here.”



Suddenly, I was picked up, “FRANK! PUT ME DOWN!”

Jaymes looked shocked, and Frank put me down. I turned around and hugged him. He looked shocked, “You really did change!”



“Yeah, but let's go to the kitchen and cook together.”



“Why?”



“Because I need to see you and talk with you. Dave's on his way.”



“Why?”



“Because I'm moving up here.”



“Why?”



“Because Dave operates the city and I live elsewhere. I want to move up here so my boy out there can have a job modeling and know fame.”



“You have a boy?!”



“He's not mine, but I was with his father back in the 80's. Now, I'm helping get him a career and settled. I will tell you if there's an heir for me, it's him. So you treat him as my heir.”



“Is he getting the power?”



“Don't write Dave and I off so soon! Hell, only the good die young and I plan on being over a hundred!”



He smiled, “Let's go cook!”



We went back and I said, “I want your veal prime rib and a baked potato with my salad. Shave the prime rib over the salad and give me plenty of green and black olives with parmesan cheese.”



“I know how you like it...it's almost Greek!”



“I want my bread like I want it.”



The orders came back and I saw three of the same. “Frank, I'll get these, where are your sauces?”



“In the pans there.”



“I need fresh Alfredo. Forget it, I'll make it myself.”



“The butter hit the grill by the pound and the chicken went into it as did the vegetables. I began doing a stir fry of the vegetables and then said, “Fettuccini, where is it?!”



“Over to the right.”



“Don't tell me you leave it in a soak!”



“It's cold.”



“It's swelling!”



He laughed, “Fry it!”



“Oh jeez!”



He laughed harder, “You sound like Gino there!”



“He'd already be walking out. Who taught you how to cook like this?!”



“I've changed some things.”



“And how many old timers come up here still?!”



“They can't make it.”



“Hon, they can't make it because you've got to hold onto your reputation. Now shave me some of that veal here because Dave's going to want Chicken, Veal, and Shrimp Fettuccini. Where are your broccoli and carrots?”



“Right there.”



“I need fresh. I'll pay for this meal, but you really need to change everything back before you starve to death out here.”



I chopped the veggies and threw them on. I got the veggies for Anna, Clive, and Jaymes off and took up the butter into a sauce pan. The rue went in with garlic oil an then more cloves of garlic. He came over and I said, “Parmesan, put it on in. I'll get the cilantro.”



“It's over there”



“Not out of a can I won't! You can get me fresh to cook with.”



“Rhette, it's just as good!”



“Frank, I love ya man, but let me tell you something. Dave told me if I wanted good I better get to the kitchen and cook it. Does that tell you how your reputation is out in the world already?

Clive doesn't know a damned thing about real Italian cooking, but you and I do. Do me a favor and make the Italian the way Meemaw made it and not a Step Mama.”



“Ok, do I really have a reputation that's bad?”



“Yeah. You really need to realize reputations change, but they'll always believe the bad before they will the good.”



I stirred the sauce and said, “Take up the fettuccini and lay the stir fry over it. Then crown the dish with the bread and we'll pour on the sauces.”



“How do you mean crown?”



“Did you ever eat in Meemaw's kitchen?”



“No.”



“She served everything like this. I'll tell you why in a moment.”



I took the bread and put it around the edges so a moat formed when the sauce was poured. “That allows you to mix in all that sauce and have plenty enough to go everywhere you need to eat all of it.” Now send those out and tell her Dave's will be there as soon as I get it finished. He'll want brown sauce.”



“Oh man! You know how to make it?!”



“Yeah, get over here. It's easy.”



In fine Italian cooking, you have white sauce, red sauce, and wine sauces of the French. Where the term Brown Sauces come in is when you take a White Sauce and use your beef stock in it. You make it brown with the stock and Worcestershire sauce. I use soy sauce and more mushrooms and garlic than most.



When it was finished, he stood there, “That's it?”



“Taste this. If it's not as good as Meemaw's, I'll lay down and die now. The key is to keep everything moving.”



“It's wonderful!”



“If you let that sit, you'll have a brick and don't even ask me how to get it out of a pan!”

I served Dave's up and about the time I was ready to take it to the front, he came in. As soon as he saw me, he smiled and said, “Mine?!”



“Yeah, you know I'd cook for you!”



“Oh, you spoil me!” He looked over my shoulder, “Hi Frank!”



We went out and I sat next to Jaymes and asked, “You like?”



“Yeah, what's he eating?!”



“Dave has what you've got except his is veal in with chicken and shrimp. I made brown sauce instead of the white Alfredo.”



“Oh”



I dipped my fork in Dave's and said, “Let him figure out if he likes it!”

I fed Jaymes an said, “There, what do you think?!”



“Oh man! That's really good! Well, it's all really good.”



I smiled at Clive, “IF you wanted me to cook for you, you should've took me closer to the city!”



“What's wrong with Frank's cooking?”



“Italian's won't touch it the way he's cooking back there. I love him, but unless I'm told he's changed it, I won't eat here again.” I turned to Dave, “He's soaking the noodles!”



“What?!”



“Soaking. They're in water and it's all cold and slimy. Can you imagine?!”



“You make these fresh?”



“No, I fried them. It made them better, but imagine if he'd cooked it with those slimy ones?!”



“You're trying to get me to lose my lunch!”



“Hon, I love you too much for that!”



I turned to everyone. “IS your food good?”

Everyone loved it and I ate away at my salad.



“Jaymes looked at my salad and asked, “Why do you like your salad instead of this?”



“Taste it. See if you like it. It's got a lot of olives, so be careful.”



He took a bite and chewed and then smiled, “It's way different, but it's really good.”



Anna asked, “Let me try some!”

I pointed and she stuck her fork in and tasted. “Mmmm, what's making it so different?”



Dave chuckled, “Don't ask her to guess. We'll be here all day.”



I said, “Hon, I dress it with all the olives and the cheeses but it's not what is there which makes the difference. Yeah, that dressing has anchovy paste in it, but that's the only way I will ever touch an anchovy.

What matters is the salad greens. I take all the ingredients you put into a good salad and then, I put all the ingredients you put into a good slaw and then, it goes into a food processor.
When it's done, you've got this and then, you throw on the dressing and all the olives and drown it with parmesan.”



Dave said, “What you need to do is have him serve that salad to you out on the beach with a huge hunk of grilled tuna. If it doesn't make you fall in love with him, you won't ever know good cooking again.”



Jaymes asked, “How do you grill tuna? Wouldn't it fall through the grill?”



“Hon, grilled tuna is like a steak. What you're used to is tuna out of a can which is either in oil or water. That's bits and pieces of a tuna fish after all the steaks are cut from it.

When you taste grilled tuna, it's like eating a real super piece of steak. It'll flake off like fish, but it'll hold the flavor of being grilled and taste like steak. With this salad served with it, you get a large lesson in the Mediterranean. This is almost Greek and the fish would be better if it were smoked which would make it Morrocan and then, a fine French white whine. The Italian bread like these would be the end of it.”



Dave laughed, “You'd want that one little treat you love from Isreal.”



“Oh! Man! Yeah! Damn Dave! You'll have me craving them!”



Everyone chuckled and I said, “Ice cream?!”



Dave asked, “Are you sure you want ice cream?”



“I'm not. I'm having Gelato. He's got a machine back there and I'm going to see if I can put together a pina colada gelato.”



“Oh man, make me one too!”



I turned to everyone. “Would you folks like one?”



Jaymes asked, “What's Gelato?”



“Come in and let's make it together.”



We went into the back and I hugged Frank. “Frank, this is Jaymes. Treat him like my son because he'll have all I have some day.”



Frank hugged him and said, “Did you meet Tatiana?”



Jaymes smiled, “Yes, and then, Rhette nearly had me meeting the twins.”



Frank laughed, “Rhette has known them since they were little!”



I laughed, “Dammit Frank, if you say that, the kid won't think they weren't born with 38DDD's!”



He laughed, “Oh!”



I turned to Jaymes, “The doctor smacked each baby's ass and they turned around and hit him with double sets of twins. Boomboomboomboom. He had no idea what hit him!”



As I spoke, I was mixing pina colada and tasting it. “Frank, I need some pineapple and some orange. Give me a few pieces of chocolate mint and then, I'll leave you be.”



I stuck a finger in it and said, “Taste.”



Jaymes sucked on my finger and I said, “Naughty kid, didn't you get horny enough earlier?!”



He smiled, “I know I need to soak my drawers out when I get home. All that leaking I was doing.”



“We'll see, but first, I've got to go to South Carolina with that man out there and get my blueprints.”



“Who's the other guy?”



“The one not speaking and being spoken with is an architect which Dave loves but I don't think is so hot.”



“Why not?”



“Hon, when you have something built brand new, it shouldn't be called fresh and exciting if it looks like it's been there for thirty years. That man put up a hotel which looked terrible. Gino let me have my stroke and then, we emptied the gaming floor and reset the machines to where I wasn't such a ragging bitch.”



“Which hotels?”



“Ginorocity. You've probably not heard of them, but those out in Vegas know they're the hidden queens of all the showgirls out there which call themselves casinos.

The Ginos are to the North of the City. All the others are down South. What you don't know is the city is growing to them...not the other way. They've got enough ground with them each has everything and lots of parking. The land wasn't as expensive there, but by the time the others get to them, they'll be worth a fortune.”



“And they're Davids?”



“It depends is you ask Dave if they're his, or me. I'll point at Dave and he'll point at me. I'll point at Dave because I picked the land and I helped Gino get the first three started. Dave got two more built and now, we're getting the last two built. Behind them is a huge stadium for concerts and all seven of them are going to be tied together by the Ginosaur which isn't a hotel but is. It's one long hotel tying all seven of them together.”



“It sounds big.”



“Let me tell you how long that thing is. If you put the first Gino out at Oakwood at the highway, you'd be at Tom Boland Ford before you got the last one.”



“Man!”



“Yeah, it's four miles long and six stories high. I'll tell you it's only four thousand rooms, but with all the sisters, it's almost nine thousand rooms altogether.”



“That's a lot!”



“Ready to watch this machine make it Gelato?”



“Yeah.”



I poured it in and turned on the machine and set the freeze.



“What happens now?”



“What happens is it takes the coolness of everything and uses it. Basicly put, this is a big blender which makes everything a slush and refreezes it into a form of ice cream. When I make it, I want texture instead of juice which doesn't have it being an actual for real Gelato... it's more of a Sorbet. With a Gelato, you have more of a creamy texture on your tongue.”



“How do you know about all this?”



“When we go to Kansas City, I'll teach you. Gino's house is what taught me most all I know about food. You see, when Gino was alive, he'd call around and they'd send all sorts of free things to the house. I'd go in and just pig out in the frig and then, I'd move over to the freezer and go into a sugar coma after I'd eaten all I wanted. I never did that in the wine cooler because a wine drunk will give you the worst headache ever.”



“Really?”



“I'm not joking. However, if you run wine through this machine here, oh man, you'll have the best ever. It's absolutely wonderful.”



Frank said, “Rhette, you two leaning over that machine like that is too much.”



I stood up and yelled, “Whip it out! Just whip it out and show me how it's too much!”



He laughed and Jaymes looked shocked. Tatiana came in laughing, “Rhette, if you could get any louder, I don't think the neighbors heard that!”



“Oh, well!”



I heard the machine kick off and said, “The chocolate mint leaves Frank.”



“Right here.”



“Ok.”



I served up the Gelato and handed Frank and Tatiana theirs. “Frank, the mint chocolate leaves make the perfect mint for afterwards. If you remember it, they'll always compliment their meal here.”



We went out and handed them theirs. Dave, Anna, and Clive were all red faced. Dave asked, “Did he whip I out?”



“NO! He always gets shy. One of these days, he's going to do it and that's when I'll have the disadvantage.”



They all chuckled and we ate our Gelato. Afterwards, I went over to Tatiana, “Call your sister. Tell her I'm bringing my boy in for rounds and he's to smother him with La and Na.”



“He's a handsome kid but too skinny.”



“We're feeding him lots of high caloric foods. Tonight, we'll be in South Carolina at the Crab Shack and Mabel's so he'll have double the calories. And when he thinks he's stuffed, I'm going to take him home and run him. When I get done, he'll be ripped and back up to weight.”



“Frank said he thinks the kid's on drugs.”



“He was. I got to him in time. Now, we're showing him what life's about without them.”



“You're giving him everything?”



“All the way down to my last teardrop will be his. Dave knows it and unless he produces an heir, we'll have to find someone. I think Jaymes is my choice.”



“What if Dave wants it?”



“Dave's already made his choice on that. I've given it to him so many times it's pitiful, but he always gives it right back telling me he gets more advantage from not being the boss.”



“Really?”



“Right now, everyone thinks he's it. Yet, when he's got to crack heads, he tells them his boss told him to do it.”



I paid her and said, “Tell Frank to change it all back. Otherwise that's the last dollar you'll ever see from me. Everyone's saying how bad it's gotten to be and yet, I wanted to see you guys.”



“Ok hon.”



We went out and there sat what looked to be my chopper. I turned, “Dave? How'd you get it here?”



“I had it flown up here in a jet.”



I put my hand on Jaymes' shoulder, “You sit up front with me. It's time you learned to fly.”



“I've never flown anything!”



“It's time you learn. I'll tell you if little kids can do it, you can do it. And if you can fly a plane or chopper, you can drive anything. Does that tell you it's all up here?” I said tapping his temple.



I let Dave, Clive, Anna, and the architect get in and said, “Fasten your belts.”



Dave said, “No aerials. We just ate.”



“Ok, I won't yet.”



I shut the door and went to Jaymes. “Here, let me fit this helmet for you.” I put the helmet on him and said, “That's my lucky helmet.”



Dave said, “Your glasses are up there.”



“Thanks Dave.”



When I got Jaymes' helmet fitted, I said, “Here's your eye piece. We'll get you some glasses later at a truck stop.”



“Wow! Is all this real?”



“Yeah, but this chopper doesn't have all of the doodads the ones in Kansas City have. This one is old.”



“How old is it?”



“Nearly twenty years old. We bought it in '89. I cut my teeth on this thing.”



“You were only fifteen?”



“Yeah, and what we'll do is we'll have the men get you some hours flown.”



I turned to Dave, “We need him some hours.”



“They're already gotten. All you need to do is have him work on his test.”



“We'll get it done.”



I shut his door and went around. I got in and said, “Dave, if we crash, it's because I trusted you to tell me if anything's wrong.”



“You're ok.”



I put on my helmet and adjusted. I turned, “Everyone, put on your headsets.”



I adjusted my eye piece for the HUD and heard Dave's voice. “We're all live back here.”



I asked, “Can you hear me Dave?”



“Yeah.”



“Anna?”



“Yeah.”



“Clive?”



“Yeah.”



“Jaymes?”



“Yeah.”



“I would ask you Jerry but I know we're going to argue to the ends of the earth to get me perfection so you already should know I don't forget.”



“I hear you Rhette.”



“I heard Jaymes chuckle.”



I started up and said, “I'm glad you parked over here Dave. That rotor wash would've taken out the windows on their cars.

Now, what are the coordinates of the island?”



“You've got to be recognized by the airport first.”



“Ok, what are my clearances?”


“Goto twenty five and radio.”



I went up and said, “This is Ginorocity Roto One calling.”



“Go ahead Ginorocity Roto.”



“I'm heading to New York harbor please lead me.”



“Go at two four five at five thousand.”



“Roger.”



We flew and I hit the mic for Jaymes' headset. “That airport told us to go at two forty five degrees at five thousand feet. When it's time, he'll hold our hands and guide us into the harbor.”



“How do we control this thing?”



“The stick pretty much does all the work. Forward is nose down. Back is nose up. To the right is right down. TO the left is left down. The rotor speed up there is on your indicator here. You always want to watch that. It's a leading indicator of whether your engine is having problems.

If you suddenly feel a vibration. You get it started down before you even look at that indicator. That split second decision might be what saves your life. I'd much rather fall out of the air at fifty feet than two thousand. One's not going to be pretty, but the other will have you being paste on the roof of this thing.”



My headset came alive. “Gino Roto1 goto forty five and maintain ceiling.”



“Roger, forty five maintaining ceiling. Gino Roto1 copies.”



We switched and Jaymes said, “Man! This is neat!”



“If you ever parachute, the way you feel in this thing is the way you'll feel in a harness of one of them. What I'll tell you now is the ceiling of this is ten thousand. It doesn't mean we go that high, it means we CAN go that high. In the others, you can go up to fifty, but you've got oxygen masks for those. They're Apaches which have everything live.”



“Man!”



“This here was the top of the line back in it's day. I'll fly it but I won't fly a jet the same age. This needs to be traded, but after getting everything I wanted from him, I'm not going to keep asking for things. I'd rather buy something than beg my way out the door.”



My headset said, “Gino Roto1 take it to thirty five hundred and maintain your course.”



“Copy Gino Roto1 to thirty five hundred maintaining heading.”



I took it down and said, “See that indicator in your HUD? That's your altitude. When it changes, it will let you know it's changing. That wasn't available twenty years ago outside of military specs. We asked, paid, and got it.”



“Oh! I see New York!”



“It's awesome during the day time but is amazing at night.”



We went ahead and Dave said, “Ask to be released. He's going to want to see Central Park as will Anna.”



“This is Gino Roto1. We'd like to be released to do a little sightseeing.”



“Roger Gino Roto1 maintain radio for updates if needed.”



“I'll let you know when we're down. We're going to some island in the harbor to look at a house.”



“Roger.”



We went silent and Dave said, “Take him up Broadway.”



“Okay.”



We flew over and soon I knew where I was. We went up Broadway and soon were up over the theater district. I turned and said, “Anna, there's Central Park.”



“It's small from up here!”



“This is Gino Roto1. I'd liked to request we go to five oh oh.”



“I'm busy at five oh oh. Take it to four five oh.”



“Roger. Four five oh.”



I stayed stationary and went down to four five oh. “Is that better Anna?!”



“Some of the buildings are taller than us!” Jaymes said.



“Yeah, and we need to maintain our surroundings at all times. It means we need to stay out away from buildings. You might not think about it but up here, we've got a rotor wash too. A bird getting blown into a window could hurt people.”



“I guess I never thought of that.”



Dave said, “Rhette, let's go out and down.”



“Ok.”



I told Jaymes. “When you're talking to a pilot, tower, or your co-pilot, always use 'roger' instead of ok. If it's a passenger, it's ok, and never roger. It lets them know they're separated from everyone else in your mind even if they're another pilot.”



We went out over the harbor and Dave said, “To your left ninety.”



“Ok”



“That one down there. See the helipad?”



“Yeah. Can I circle it from the air and look?”



“Yeah, don't go into the Statue of Liberty's red zone behind you.”



“I won't.”



We went around and I saw the island was bigger than I thought.



“Who's houses are those?”



“They go with the property. All are on the register.”



“The only one which concerns me is that one.”



When we'd gone around it I went around it the other way. I said, “Jaymes, when you're wanting to know something for certain, go around it twice but not in the same direction. The change in direction will get you more of what you're wanting to know.”



We got around and I went down onto the helipad. I said, “Wait until spool down before opening your doors, but remember your helmet before you get out.



“Oh! Thanks!”



“It's one of the first things you have to get used to. What I do is I wear my blublockers while I've got it on. When they come off, I know I've got it off.”



He undid his chin strap and said, “It feels weird without it.”



“Yeah, but that helmet is adjusted for you now. It'll stay that way.”



“Why?”



“Because this chopper will stay here. It will be flown by you or I over to the heliport and that's it...well, unless Dave is in town.”



I opened the door and got out. I used the tie downs to get us tied down and went around to tie us down on the other. I opened Jaymes' door and said, “We're safe. Always remember your tie downs. You'll look like an idiot if you don't.”



I opened the doors and Anna got help getting out. I went over to the house and said, “Dave?”



“On my way Rhette.”



He came over and I asked, “The house...what can I do to it and what can I not?”



“You can say it's unsound and get it taken down, but the park service will contest it. They've been all over it and it's up to their standards...”



“Until a fire takes it down.”



He smiled, “You think of the loophole every time.”



“Dave, what is the thing you've got to talk to me about?”



“You're not going to like it.”



“Just tell me for chrissake.”



“The casinos are getting harassed over you being a felon.”



“Let me make a few phone calls. Right now, we're employing how many out there? And how many construction jobs do we have? And how much do we pay in taxes? And how much would that cost the state of Nevada if I tear it all down and walk away from it? I mean, you know unemployment is at an all time high in and out of Vegas, so they want to fuck with me? What if I took all my money out of casinos? How many would that put under?”

I walked away saying, “Dave, call the Governor. Tell him we'll make our announcement to cease business the second after our license is denied. Tell them the men will be paid up to that day but starting right now, they're all 'contract for hire' which means I don't owe any unemployment if they're fired.

Tell that bastard the moment I put all those employees over to his unemployment, I'm going to proudly roll all my assets there into Indian assets and open back up. They're their own nation and they'll not have to pay any taxes.”



“I'm just telling you they're squawking about it.”



“And someone's said something. I publicly invested in a company I own under the board so it would be propped up. IF they want to question what's under the table, I'll pull all the moneys I've got on top of the table. Besides, if you're listed on that paperwork, you shouldn't be concerned.”



“Someone's mentioned knowing I'm not the head of this back here.”



“Bullshit. Right now, you're batting your eyes and they're bluffing you. IF you want, I'll go in and stare them down.”



“But we're lying!”



“David, come down here.”



We went down on the dock. “This needs to be replaced. Take two hundred off the asking price. Tell them I'll pay nine million but not a fucking dime more.”



“I already bought it.”



“God Dammit!”



“You're upset.”



“When you got called David, it should have told you I was madder than hell. You acting like a wuss negotiator is really pissing me on everything.

First of all, you never blink. You laugh in their faces and you dare, challenge, and deny. Then, you pull back and regroup.

What I will do is I will go forward and sit at that board. I will tell them I own the media, toys, and buy above board out there.

When they ask me how much I own above board, I'll tell them the three hundred million and not blink. When they try to get me with SEC violations, I'll show them the door because it's not on your side of things.

If they seek to ask how much money I've got invested in everything, I'll put on my top hat and tails and start doing the dance. By the time I'm finished doing the dance, they're going to have the President coming down on them for all the jobs I'm taking overseas with all I own.

Personally, I don't give a fuck where one thing I own is made. Once I'm finished and out of the country, I'll put, 'If it was made up your ass you'd know, but no American jobs were kept with this product due to the Obama Administration.' Then, I'm going to ship his kids the first fucking dolls made outside of the country and when they pull the string, it'll speak Chinese. 'Thank you for the jobs Mr President.'”

I looked up at the house and said, “See what we can do with it. When they tell you all things have to go through them, burn it and every house on this island.”



“You're pissed.”



“Don't ever bring me that shit. If I have to play the roll of your Dad, I'll go out there and correct the bullshit and you best know I'll be a hateful bitch doing it.

For now, what you need to do is you need to pull my investment in all of the casinos as of this afternoon. Fax them the transaction on the director's personal fax and then find out what trash we've got on the asshole. You fax the fucking pics of it and then fax his wife the same shots. That's the shot across the bow I expect...the one which takes out his Captain's Quarters.

Then, if you pull that punch, I'll step in and finish it.”



“You're upset.”



“It should've never been brought to me. From the way it sounds, you've got every fucking fed over in that city with cameras aimed at us and now they know I'm not about to play nice.

Gino wouldn't have blinked and he sure would be kicking the shit out of you if he'd thought you had...you know that, so don't come to me thinking I'm going to be happy you blinked. Just let me know if I've got to go play clean up.”



“Perhaps you better.”



“That's all I needed to hear. Come on. You bought a fuckin' island for six million too much and now, I find out I'm expected to waste time here when I need to be on a plane.”



I yelled, “Anna, Clive, Jaymes, to the chopper NOW!”



Anna came out, “What's going on?”



“He's bought it for full price and he's now letting the gaming commission fuck him. I've got to go take care of it and start treating the world like a hard balled bitch.”



“Oh!”



“I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to let you guys go over at that heliport and get to the airport. Jaymes's going to see me in probably the most hateful of modes right now that anyone's ever seen.”



I turned, “Call and cancel the construction projects! Tell them as of this afternoon, what equipment of theirs isn't off the property will be considered ours. Tell their unions to consider fucking us on unemployment and I'll file bankruptcy just to have all my money pulled out of that fuckin' state.



I turned to Clive, “If you'd call the White House press room, I'd be thankful. I want them to know between me and the rest of my money, close to twenty five thousand jobs will be cost in Vegas.”



He nodded, I said, “Dave, if you're not on a phone, you really need to be.”



“Are you serious?”



“Damned serious. The next call after those out there is to my stock broker telling him I want all my stocks in Vegas pulled out. That should get some casinos toppling. Then, you announce you're going to hold a press conference there tonight.”



“Okay....”



“Dave, I'll gladly drop you in Kansas City and take this fucker over if I've gotta. Just let me know and I'll step in, but you best know when I do, I'm going to wonder fully out loud to a lot of people just what in the fuck you were doing all these God damned years.”



The chopper went up and went down over on the heliport. “Pay the man David.”



I turned, “Anna, Clive, I love ya. Sorry you had to see me this pissed off.”



Clive smiled, “No problem.”



Dave got back in and said, “We're out at New Jersey.”



I called Sal, “Yeah Rhette. Hi Sal, I need to know what is being said to the casino owners about investors.”



“Oh, not you too!”



“If that means Dave's been told something about my not being able to get a license because of me being an investor, then, it's me too.”



“What have you done?”



“All the men are getting told to get off my construction site right now. Then, I'm pulling every damned dime I've got from there and you know I'm propping up about seven of the fucking things besides the Ginos.”



“Don't do anything yet. I've got a call into someone who's about to be told there won't be a Nevada Gaming Commission if there aren't any casinos. They need to know if our money gets pulled out, they'll be in a world of shit.”



“Let me know because I'm on my way out there now.”



“Rhette, don't do anything.”



“IF you're telling me not to do anything so you can watch my three hundred million personal go down the drain to save yours, I'm going to be mighty pissed.”



“Is that how much you've got out there?”



“That's how much I've got...not how much Kansas City's got out there. We're in about six or seven billion...besides the Ginos.”



“Ok, I'll let you know what I hear first.”



“You promise?”



“Yeah.”



“Ok, I'll settle down, but you let me know. Now, who was it that Dave bought the island from?”



“Why?”



“Because if I had personally seen it before he bought it, I would've only offered nine. Someone's going to shit me six million dollars and I want to know who it was.”



“It's the government.”



“Ok, we'll burn the top side of that island down and build what I want there.”



“Let me contact them. What do you have wrong with it?”



“Nothing except it'd be fine if I were housing a prison there. They've got every bit of usable land used for junk buildings and I'm the proud owner of what I'll gladly move over to being a prison if that's the only way I can retrieve my investment.”



He chuckled, “I doubt if you can do it.”



“Wrong. The state of Missouri gladly did it to a bunch of houses in order to build a new prison. In their petition, they stated since they were going to house federal prisoners, they were out of the guidelines for National Register houses. That tells me there's something there which states you can do it if it's a prison.”



“Let me get my legal on it.”



“Let me know.”



“I sure will! It'd be hilarious if we could beat them at their own game.”



“Thanks Sal.”



I hung up, “Dave, everyone's getting told the same thing about their investors. Sal's letting them know they're about to bankrupt a lot of casinos.”



I turned to the architect. “We're going to South Carolina. I want you to walk through my house there and then, I want you to listen to what I expect in both Missouri and on that island.”



“Ok”



“If one thing is done wrong, we'll do a rip out and rebuild until I get it as I want. This won't be like the first three Ginos out there. You're going to see I'm not as nice as Gino about things and you sure better be seeing I'm not as nice as Dave about things.”



Dave said, “Rhette, you were given the option of having them torn down and rebuilt out there.”



“And do you know why I didn't? Because that man there told your father it'd take another two years to get them done the way they were supposed to be built. That's why.

Instead, we tore out the gaming floor and rebuilt the son of a bitch instead of all the rest. That's not wimping out Dave, that's called I chose to cut the losses. However, I'm sure you made sure he built all of them the way they were intended instead of having seven sisters which look like the mess we had with the first three.”



“We built them with newer materials as they were intended.” Jerry said.



I turned to Jerry, “And that means we've got every room thirteen wide instead of sixteen? Or did you go back and fix all of those?”



“All of the new ones are sixteen wide. It cost more with carpeting and accessories, but it is how it was expected.”



“Good, when we get a handle on this and that Ginosaur out there gets built, I'm wanting them all to be suites thirty two wide. I want those ceilings in it to be ten feet tall with the plumbing and everything being in the ceiling below. We're going to show I know a few things about design in them and you sure can guess I'm expecting the energy usage to be amazingly low.”



“Ummmm, Rhette” Dave said.



“Yeah.”



“The Ginosaur got shelved.”



“David, God damn it! If this were a car, I'd already be pulled over and would've had you thrown out of it. Why wasn't I told? And what the fuck for?”



“We couldn't afford it at this time.”



“Bullshit. Unless you've not told me something major, the money is there.”



“The costs for it are astronomical as to what they were.”



“Who's running them up?”



“The costs for everything are up.”



“Ok, so you're saying from March of last year when we last spoke about this to now, the prices are so staggering high you decided to pull the plug on the project without telling me?”



“Rhette, you're real good about spending money...other people's money!”



“What were the last three dying wishes your Dad laid out to you?”



“To get Vegas built because he knew you'd have a conniption if you found out it wasn't completed. To give you the power because he knew I'd be quote, 'too Republican with the money', and three to differ to you in all things because you'd find a way to keep us afloat.”



“Amazing how that man knew me.

Now, do you realize you shelved a fucking project I've already got promised to fill? And do you realize that set of concerts would've put us on the map with us claiming the most rooms in that city with gaming floors in each one? Where do you think I'd be able to shit money? Could it be I know our sports parlor is going to be bigger than anything anyone's ever seen out there? Jeez, I think I've got people working when it's probably all been shelved.”



“I'm sorry.”



“If you had a pistol Dave, the bullet tearing through my head about now wouldn't hurt as bad as the knife you decided to corkscrew in my back. You should damned well know I hold your father's memory near and dear and you should also know I'll differ to you in all things except what his dying wishes were.”



“It's going to cost eight billion dollars!”



“And? Now it will cost probably twenty to get the crews back and what should be going. Now it's probably going to cost me fifty kinds of respect when it's heard I promised El and Anna concerts there.”



We landed at the airport and I said, “Dave, stay in the back. Right now, I've got that migraine pounding and don't want to think about anymore business. I love you and that's the only thing right now which is keeping me trudging forward.”



I turned to Jaymes, “It's not normally this way between us.”



Dave asked, “Can I ride up there with you?”



“Not one word about business. If you do, I'll land on a highway and put your ass out.”



He smirked, “Ok”



“Jaymes, let us sort things out and get back to being close. I don't like where we are right now.”



He nodded, “Don't throw him out.” and then smiled.



Dave chuckled, “He won't, I've got the keys.”



“Yeah, I know a few keys you've got I want....nookie, monkey, winkie...can I keep going?”



He laughed, “You're terrible!”



We got in and taxied out. “Dave, Jaymes needs to know we're friendly most of the time. I don't want him thinking I'm a total bitch.”



“I'm sorry. I panicked when the economy went. So I pulled the plug.”



“Don't talk about it. Now, who the hell else do we have to work on the houses?”



“I don't know. Why?”



“I don't like that man being on the project with me. Me thinking I've got to be a total bitch to him in order to get what I want out of him regarding anything is going to take the pleasure out of having those houses.”



We taxied up and he said, “He's been better about the new hotels. I told him I was going to have to answer to you about them and I expected you to be happy without you ever seeing them.”



“Ok, are they what we expected?”



“They're not bad. They're nothing like the first three.”



“The first three look worse than what they tore down down the strip. I swear that first one got all the guts from the Dunes before it was torn down.”



He took what you and Dad did in the first three and used it in all the rest.”



“Hon, that just told me he's used ideas which are twenty years old. What is built out there and what needs completed?”



“The stadium is built. Why you want it is beyond me.”



“Well, had we had the Ginosaur going up, you'd see World Cup Soccer being in there. You'd see me begging and borrowing an NFL franchise to go in there. We all know the Cards are trying to make money wherever they can get a way in and from the looks of it Detroit is on the ropes terribly bad.”



“Did you watch the Superbowl?”



“Yeah, I started rooting for the Steelers way back in August. I rode with them and Jess was downright embarrassed about the way I watch football.

When the Cards came ahead, I was over cussing a blue streak and when they came back ahead, I was yelling and screaming at that man to run his ass off. When they ruled it good, oh man, I was a basket case. I will tell you that was a game which Vegas loved because no one beat the spreads...and yet, if we'd had a sports parlor, we'd cleaned up.”



“What are your goals there to make money?”



“First of all, you've got to get some groups in those theaters which routinely draw.”



“Ok, like who?”



“What you aren't figuring hon is this. Your Dad and I talked about the land out there long and hard before we bought it. While everyone else was out there wanting down the strip, he listened to me and realized I knew what the hell I was talking about.

So, I'm going to run it by you...so you know.

First of all, take a look at the numbers and figure where people get into Vegas from. The stats show you have eighty three percent arrive by air. That means seventeen percent arrive by car.

When they arrive by car, two thirds of them arrive from the South. They drive in from Los Angeles and they're short term players. The other third which is about six percent arrive by car from the east and the North.

We did a count on the highway while we were there and we counted twelve thousand cars go by. Yeah, some of them probably were Henderson locals, but that was one hour. Figure in twelve hours, you've got a hundred thousand cars and probably fifty percent of them are players.

Am I getting close to letting you figure out why we went North? I knew we could fill the girls and I knew if we put signs out there advertising our theaters as having the groups people hadn't thought about in a while, we'd have them in long term contracts and even the ones who didn't stay there would be drawn during their stay.

THAT is why I was so pissed when they weren't built according to spec. That's why I blew the volcano of a fit I threw when I saw a funky fuckin' casino in each of them because I expected newer, better, bigger and somehow we got trash for seven hundred million dollars.

That man back there is the cause of it. Yeah, it could've been torn down, but you know now my reasons for not doing it.

What I'm going to tell you next is going to scare you. That Ginosaur is my idea...not your Dad's. I know he wanted the seven sisters and that would be it. I know what we have with the girls and without a mother of all we've got seven girls which are just standing alone WITHOUT a real good draw.

With the Ginosaur, everyone takes a look and goes, “Oh my God! Then, they see the price of the rooms and they definitely know they're not getting charged an arm and a leg and they know if we've got everything like the rest of them, they're not going to wait for anything while they're there.

That's why I wanted seven different feels for them. You have old world Italy. You've got Mexican. You've got Asian. You've got Spanish. You've got English. You've got American west and you've got American Farmer. I wonder why? Because I know those are the people coming and I know when they get there, they're promised the $3.99 buffet everywhere else and get delivered shit compared to what I expected us to deliver.

With the Ginosaur, I'm having suites. As you can see, I'm going for more value for the money for that family who comes. Yeah, some people are dumb enough to bring their kids and yeah, they manage to sell it to the kids because there's Circus Circus, and a wide variety to do for them.

My thought is once we've got them, we're most likely going to find ways to entertain them. That means Carson and Barnes being there. That means us throwing the best damned carnival we can throw and it means we put water parks to shame with what we build.”



“All that's built.”



“And yet, Mom and Dad are stuck in two bedroom units they could get down the strip. I want them to feel like they're big rollers in that Ginosaur and offer those at the staggering price of ten bucks more than what we offer a regular room at. Suddenly, you see our occupancy rates up, you see their lunch money getting milked from them and you see us throwing 'dang wouldyas' all over the place free whereas they're getting charged out the ass elsewhere for the same.

Your Dad understood me. He understood when I'm talking about giving more bang for the buck. In reality, Mom and Dad aren't going home with that in pocket. They feel they've got more money therefore they're more generous.

No, we're not the best, but we're certainly going to fill their time and when others hear what they got with us compared to everyone else, they're going to fill our rooms with that word of mouth sale.

You might not see twenty nine dollars for a room being a lot in sales, but I do. I also see that Ginosaur selling the shit out of rooms for thirty nine and those doubles going for thirty four as a draw.”



“What do you want in the theaters?”



“Ok, let's take a look at names. Let's go back twenty five years and leave it at that. Where are groups like Roxette? Cindy Lauper? Styx? Foreigner? And the Eurythmics? Why can't we sign the Pet Shop Boys, New Kids, and others like that to long term? Why is it I can manage to promise El and Anna venues at the same price and not see it as a real expense?

Because all of them make money. All of them are draws in one way or another and without crying about it, I know there are latins like Miami Sound Machine, Ricky Martin, and blacks like Diana, Whitney, and old timers like Aretha, Neil Diamond, and yes, Michael Jackson who can't get a pull anywhere else.

No, we're not offering them astronomical amounts, but we're offering them venues which because the tickets are lower, will be filled and we've got room filled because of them.

You ought to know when the rooms are filled, so are our restaurants, and yes, the gaming floors.

I'll take less numbers in the other areas like the shops, water parks, and amusements because I know when we throw the season ticket prices at the locals, we'll have those coming. And when we throw local prices at the shows, we'll have those filled to max.”



“Would they draw steady?”



“No, but I have a feeling they'd draw for six weeks and we could rotate them in and out. With the electronics being as they are, we're not out a lot of staging costs because jumbos do a lot and they're impressed with a lot of less if you ask me.”



“SO you think you can get them?”



“I thought I could get them, but now I've got to go tell Clive when he takes her off the circuit, I'm most likely going to have a construction zone for everyone to walk through into that stadium. If he doesn't sneer at me, I imagine I'll get told politely 'no thanks' and that I might consider putting myself in there.”



“Why don't you?”



“Because I'm busy walking a tightrope. I know I can write the songs and I know I can find ones which are just that forgotten to remake. And while I'm at it, I'm going to tell you I want a television station in there so we can get names into a talk show there.”



“Why?”



“Because it plugs us and their names. It gets them in and it gets their name out there. I'm thinking if we syndicate it in certain markets, it'll be a draw for us.”



“Really?”



“It's utilizing all we've got to make us ahead of those out there. Now, I know you're hating my guts right now and I'll tell you I depend upon you a lot. What I hate here is you want the leadership so bad and I know I count on you, but Dave, I'm beginning to see why your Dad gave it to me.”



“Why?”



“Think about this. With me, I am goal oriented. I focus upon that goal and I accomplish what I set out to do. And yet, when I have to cut the losses, I do what I can to burn the bridges behind me so I'm not tempted to go back across them. It's called an advancing retreat because I fuck up those chances of success in that arena by destroying it entirely. I've done it with those I've loved. I've done it with things I've loved and I'm willing to do it out there if need be.

I'll tell you if I've got to do it out there, those hotels are coming down. We're not selling the sons of bitches to watch someone else make the money, we'll bring 'em down and let the rubble speak our parting farewell. BUT, Sal's checking into it and we're not throwing in the towel yet. I'll leave no stone unturned to find a way to prove to them you're the head of it and you've got no one dragging you. How the fuck my name got associated with it is beyond me because you know as well as I you're running that front...unless you've listed me somewhere on something.”



“I've not.”



“Ok, so all they've got is guilt by association and my investing money on the front side of it. If that's it, we'll certainly make a lot of them shake because I'll pull my investments out and see them topple.”



“Sal's not going to like it.”



“Dave. Right now, Sal's not paying my bills and he's not covering shit in Kansas City. Yeah he's helping up here, but I know and you know he's neck deep up here and basicly doing the same thing I'm doing. For him to be pissed at me for something he's probably going to be doing, is pure bullshit.”



Our turn came up and I lowered my glasses. “Fasten your belt, it's going to be a bumpy ride!”



He smiled, “Said Mae West.”



When we were given the go, I took it up and went out over the city. I banked and got us out over the ocean and leveled off.



“She still flies well.”



“Yeah, but you want it gone.”



“Dave, save it for Jaymes if you want it.”



“Where does he stand with things.”



“Honestly, I intend on us remaining as they are. I know he doesn't have an ounce of Italian blood in him, but I'd like for him to inherit it.”



“Why?”



“Because I see me before shit went bad in him. I see the inner strength he possesses and I see him being like me. You and I know we're getting older and there's just not a gay Italian I know who has the inner fire and determination who will get it like I know he will.”



“I doubt if he gets the votes.”



“We've got thirty or forty years to bring it about. Whether it happens, or not, you and I know we'll have plenty of water swim and plenty of bridges to cross. Today is yet one of those days.”



“Why don't you trust me?”



“Because at any given moment, you can kill me and yank the ring off my finger and proclaim it to be yours.”



“Not without an official ceremony.”



“Let's forget all that. It just tells you I trust no one anymore.”



“Why not?”



“Kevin ruined the faith I have in my fellow human being and love overcoming all. Anna and I had a conversation and everyone says I've changed. I blame it on prison, but it didn't all happen then. A whole lot of it happened laying in that hospital bed and a lot of it happened knowing I had to eek my way through it without help from those who say they're there for me.”



“I'm sorry.”



“I'm not going to say 'it's ok' with you. Usually I do for those who tell me they're sorry, but it's not ok with you having the extensive information network you had and not being there.”



“I think about it and I really think I checked out on you mentally because I was afraid to watch someone else I know and love die.”



“In this situation, you would've seen me live.

Do you know I gave an inspirational speech using the pictures as how a team can overcome their doubts? I'm up there saying how they've got each other to care for and how through their team they can make it, but I look around at those who are my team and I'm thinking, ' I lied to those kids'.

I should've told them. 'Take a look to the person on each side of you and then, take a look at the person in front of you and behind you because not a one of those people will be there for you when you're that far down. It will be the person you totally don't suspect will be your angel and if you've got two, you'll be lucky. The one you love the most will let you down and the one who's supposed to protect you will let you down and yet, you're expected to forgive them instead of flying that middle finger.

And when you ask me why I want him to have it, it's because those people weren't there for him and I came in riding the white stallion. And yet, that kid wants me so fuckin' bad it's scary. I know I could fall for him and why I don't let it envelope me totally is scary because I've shut it off.”



“Can I say something?”



“Yeah.”



“Don't get your hopes up too high with your guy down in South Carolina. That's what I really wanted to tell you but didn't know how to say it without it hurting you.”



“Why?”



“He's got someone living with him and they're sharing the same bed.”



“You've got him bugged?”



“Hon, I've got surveillance which is there. No, I don't have him bugged, but I don't need it. What I will say is if you'd watched your surveillance videos like my guys are, you'd see a train wreck happening.”



“Ok, name the dates and times and I'll go watch them. At least you're not letting me get in too deep.”



“I'm not letting you get in too deep because there's a shark in those waters.”



“Don't say any more. Let me have the dates and times and I'll pull up the video and watch them. Let me string together a loop and I'll let him know it's known.”



“You shut yourself down right there with mechanical swiftness.”



“I've been a fool. I hoped and it wasn't there. I cut losses when it's not meant to be. Maybe it's for the best I'm not there right now so I can do it guerilla style and be in and out and end it and be gone while he makes the decisions he needs to in order to get out.”



“What if he doesn't?”



“Hon, don't ever lie to me and lay in my bed hoping to ever make the seed sprout for you to ever grow a garden of weeds. I'm unmerciful with the hoe when it's time to weed. Just tell the dates and times and I'll appreciate you covering my back this time.”



We flew on and he said, “When we land, how are we getting to the house?”



“How did you get to my house before?”



“I called ahead and had one of my guys come and get me.”



“Then do that.”



“I'm going back to get my phone.”



“Use my phone. Let me know what dates and times and I'll call them up on my phone. I'll watch and then, I'll do something you'll be amazed at how it's able to be done.”



“Ok”



He used my phone and started giving me dates and times. I wrote them down on my flight log and after seven times, I nodded, “That's enough.”



He hung up and said, “He'll meet us.”



The plane was on autopilot. I called up the computer at the house and went to the dates in the hard drive and watched the surveillance footage. Sure enough, each of them were in the basement and each time, they'd fucked.”



I looked at the current footage of the house and saw he wasn't there. I hit the panic alarm and locked it down. The house shut up as did the garage, the guest cottage above the garage, and the out buildings including the cart shed, the potting shed, and the gate.



I dialed the guard shack and said, “This is Rhette Michaels. I need to know if Jessie is in the house or out.”



“He's out.”



“Tell him to remain out and don't let him in. Tell him if he enters my property from the club, I'll prosecute. I'm on my way and he's to be ready to move his things once I get there.”



“Will do Mr Michaels.”



“I appreciate it Sam.”



He put a smile in his voice. “Thanks for recognizing me.”



“You're one of my favorites. Let me know when you intend on retiring because I certainly could use a head of security at one of my other estates.”



“That's not happening for a while.”



“Just the same, let me know when. It's a privilege to have someone as cordial as yourself.”



He chuckled. “I'll see you when you get here.”



I hung up and said, “We're still eating at Mabel's and the Crab Shack. Jaymes needs to know what good food is and get calories in him.”



“What are you going to do about Jessie?”



“By law, I've got to give him thirty days to move out. That's the law. The law doesn't entitle him to drive my car, enter the main house, and damage any of my property. It doesn't entitle him to do anything except get out when the thirty days has transpired. When the thirty days happens, I'll have to be there to inspect everything and confirm it's in the same condition as when he arrived.”



“You're being civil about this.”



“I had hopes. At least it wasn't as vindictive as Joe and as hateful as Kevin...yet. IF he makes it that way, I'll sue him into the poor house and track him down to collect damages.”



When we landed, I taxied over and parked. The car was waiting and we all exited the plane. I turned to Jaymes, “It's going to be messy at the house. You're about to see me call up video and use it like I said I would on you if you violated my trust.”



“What's going on?”



“Let's not tarry. You'll see with your eyes what's going on.”



We rode to the entrance of the community and I showed my pass key. Sam smiled and said, “He was here not five minutes ago.”



“Thanks Sam.”



“I don't put it past him to attempt to go to the club and gain entrance.”



“That's fine. I'm here now.”



We went in and I said, “Dave, you be my tactical back up. If he attempts to lay a hand upon me, I'll step aside and you get him out of my house. The video will show what we need to do in order to get the restraining order and have it executed.”



When we got to the gate, I used my phone to let us in. The shame of it was it opened up everything. We drove up the drive and sure enough, Jess stood there.



“What are you doing here?!”



“I live here. Care to come into the basement so I can show you what you've been doing here?”



“What do you mean?”



I didn't say anything. I went in and Dave, Jaymes, and the architect followed. I turned to the architect. “Go on up and walk around. Jaymes, you can do so also.”



Jessie looked at Jaymes and asked, “Who's he?”



“A rehab client of mine.”



I went over to the computer and kicked on the jumbo. All the highlighted dates came up.



“Jess, we've got a problem. Here is the problem.”



I started playing them and one after another I showed them to him.



“Those seven are all I needed although I'm told there are more.

That man standing back there is on my security team. He watches these and he keeps the place surveilled while I'm gone. That man there is my business manager and he knew I had to be told to protect me from being damaged any further than I am.

The way this goes is you've got thirty days to move out. At the end of the thirty days, you've got that notice and you've got notice to know I'm going to be in here inspecting for damages.

What I'm going to expect from here on out is you park your Jeep out away from the main garage. You can sue for that in court, but I can also sue for the damages, wear, tear, and whatever done to a million dollar car. I do believe the judge will say I was within my rights.

In regards to the Golf cart. Both you and I know it's in pristine condition and I expect it to be maintained in that condition.

If you should continue working at the club, realize this property is now off limits to yourself and this basement is going in lock down. I'm not obliged to allow you to use it, and the violations of my trust warrant it not happening again.”



“You're only giving me thirty days?”



“At the wages you're making. Those thirty days with tips and other gratuities, you should easily be able to buy a place in town. I'm not paying you to stay here and live off me while I'm having someone I trusted to be my lover to screw around. I hope he was worth it because I'm that finished.”



“Rhette, you weren't ever home.”



“And I was told by a trusted friend that was a mistake. I was told I should've offered to take you with me and keep you. He might do that for his lover but they're married and I am not.”



He looked at me peculiarly. “Who's that?!”



“Someone all of these people got the privilege of meeting who wouldn't give you that honor for what I'm showing you here now.

What I will say is I'm taking these on the flash drive. They're going to be with me because after two weeks, you would've found them erased automatically.”



He looked at me, “I can't make it up to you?”



“No. I don't work that way anymore. No one gets the chance. I'll tell you I'll be in and out during that thirty days and I'll have more security here should you choose to damage anything.”



“I'm not.”



“Ok, give me the keys to the garage and the garage door opener. Get your jeep out and I'll change the codes for the house and garage. Your code will work up there and in the golf cart garage, but no where else.”



The security man said, “Rhette, you need to let him get what is his out of the potting shed also. He's got some plants out there.”



I swung around, “What?!”



Jess looked embarrassed. I said, “Jess, get the fucking things off my property. I'm not going to judge you with them and I'm not going to get the law on you, but if you dare tarnish my reputation at that club by selling anything, I'll sue the fuck out of you for more than you could ever make with it.”



I turned to Dave. “Go with him and see they're destroyed in front of him. IF he would like to prosecute for our destroying his property, then please call the police and show them what the property was we so SELFISHLY destroyed. Then pull up the surveillance videos of him planting and growing them and hand them to the police.”



Dave smiled, “I'll go with him. Go up and get your blueprints.”



“Be nice David.”



“I will be.”



I turned to Jess. “Jess, see if you can get packed while I'm here. That stunt definitely wore out that welcome.”



I went up the steps and into the kitchen. Without realizing it, I was banging around pots and pans getting water into the kettle.



Jaymes asked, “Care to talk about it?”



“He fucked around and he grew pot in my potting shed. There's not much else to say.”



“This house is awesome.”



“Yeah.”



“What are you doing?”



“Dumping some water. I was starting to cook pasta.”



He smiled, “Why stop?”



“Because I want to take you to Mabel's and the Crab shack instead.”



“Why both places?”



“Because Mabel is more for now and the Crab shack is for later and that damned Dave forgot my barbecue!”



“No he didn't! I munched away on it while we were flying down.”



“Did you eat it all?”



“Not quite. I left you a few!” he said giggling.



“Where's the architect?”



“In the front room looking at them.”



“Ok, I need to walk him through what I want different.”



We went into the front parlor and I said, “What do you think?”



“It's an amazing house.”



“It is. Now, I need to show you what I want different.”



“Ok”



“Basicly, use that blueprint but come and walk with me because it'll be easier for me to show you instead of tell you.”



He got up and followed. In the grand hallway, I said, “None of this changes. I want double parlors up front on each side and wood tones instead of all the white. I hate the pristine clinical feel and want a more masculine feel. I love the height of the ceilings, but back here where this stairwell is, I want an elevator. I'll tell you I want it all the way up to the attic and I want it big enough to get a sofa in it.”



I took them up to the second floor and into the bath. “This changes. Make my dressing room in here with closets. It can be an open galley type with dressing mirrors here and here...where the sinks are. One can be magnified and we'll work on all the dimensions, but once again, the white is out and the wood tones are in.”



“What sort of wood?”



“I don't want dark as in Walnut or Cherry although I do love Mahogany and Chestnut. I love Chestnut for the grainy appeal like a good Oak. If you can find something with the grains like that but more towards a Honey Oak, I'll be happy. If you put a Maple in front of me, I'll probably go insane...so don't do it.”



He smiled and Jaymes chuckled.



I continued, “Pine is out and it's far too light and so is Maple. Besides, neither have the grainy appeal. Whatever you do, the wood has to match throughout the house, but don't go with dark grains in that wood. It's ick and just irks the hell out of me when I see it. It's like, “Damn, if you wanted Walnut, why didn't you get Walnut instead of Oak?!”



He nodded, “Ok”



“In the bedroom here. I want ceiling height. This nine foot tall ceiling is fine, but it's not high enough for the four poster I want. I'd love to have a ten foot tall ceiling.

Over here, I don't want the book shelves or the television. I want the fireplace, but all the fireplaces in the house are to be wired with us to find some decorative frames which we can put over plasmas. Get me Vizios and you'll have me cheering, but get a door opened into the other side with that.

In here, I don't want a bedroom. This was meant to be as a nursery, but there aren't any kids in my life. My Mom has this bedroom and loves it here, but get it over on the other side for her and we'll be great.

On this side, I want three things. I want a large shower with no door and I want a steam shower with a glass door. Over there, I want a sauna and there I want a jacuzzi big enough to hold eight people. There won't ever be that many in it, but I want both the reclining seats and the upright ones in it. And see if you can get that in a beige to match instead of all the blue I've seen. I know they do the blue for the LEDs, but we can get those lights in pale yellow.

All the floors will be Corian marble inlay. I failed to mention it downstairs, but I'm not going with all the floating wood. It's great, but hell on a Swifter.”



“Ok”



“Right here, I want a marble massage table. It's going to require custom work, but I want a free standing antique brass telephone style wand up about four feet tall. It'll require floor drains around here and here, but that table is going to need to be heated. Figure it out because it can be recirculating hot water under Corian, or whatever, but it's to be marble. I'd prefer the base to be the same with some ornamental Greek style scrolls to match the fireplace mantles.”



“Do you want those in the marble in here?”



“Yeah, and you might want to make the sill on the window be the same. It can be the wood around, but I want that style of window in here which frosts automatically.”



“What style of wall?”



“Go with the shower board and get me about the same color as in here. I like this color because it calms me.”



“What about on the other side in the bedrooms?”



“Make this bedroom and bath combo over there. Yeah, it's three bedrooms and one over here up front, but that one up front can share across the hall.”



He nodded. “Get rid of the laundry in the hallway?”



“Yeah, put a laundry over there in the bath instead with doors out here. I don't know who decided it, but it ruins the appeal up here.”



I pointed at the skylight and said, “That skylight goes. I hate it and it goes up into my office. I've got to walk around it up there and it sucks. Make it so it's not down here and make it so it's a decorative stained glass with LEDs behind it to give the impression light is above it. Then, let those be on a dimmer to tone down at night as a night light out here.”



He smiled, “That sounds nice.”



“Dave has a recording of what all I want. He'll play it for you, but some of what I'm telling you isn't on it. However, let's go up to the attic space so I can show you what I want and why it's going to cost more because it will be changed here too.”



We went up and I opened the door. “This is the attic. It sucks and there's nothing there. I hate it and as you can see, there's no floor, only Pink Panther shit all over the place.”



Jaymes chuckled



Jerry asked, “What do you want?”



“I want this roof removed and the insulation kept, but all those supports need to be removed. As you can see, there's eleven foot tall ceilings in there and plenty of usable space.

With me asking for an elevator coming up there, you might need to put a dormer up to get it for me, but I want the roof to sustain the winds like this house is designed to withstand. Go with structural steel up there if you need to.

I want closets and shelves in there with drawers big enough to be considered those plastic bins. Put those up about four feet and above them, put closets. I'll be real happy if you get me one of those librarian ladders to roll along and climb up. I'm afraid of ladders, but think those are cool.

Out here in the middle, I want a sewing machine center. Make it look like in a material section in a store and at the end, let me have an area for a surger and sewing machine. I'll get those, but you'll need to measure so they're even. AND, this area gets heated and cooled and has a built in plasma monitor with the keyboard sliding out and allowing me to hook into the whole house computer.”



“Ok, how do you want that?”



“Make it stand up height in here. I'll work with you in other areas like the parlors so I can have mice and keyboards without them being seen.”



He nodded, “Ok.”



“Let's go up to my office.”



We went up and when we got up there, I said, “This is a large space except for that friggin' hole in the middle. It's eleven feet by eleven feet. When you lift the roof, get rid of that and then give me something here.”



I pointed over the window edge and said, “I want a four foot walk way around. Give me desks in the corners and little seats. I want a double French here and here. I do NOT want the doors to the front and the rear.”



I took Jaymes over, “Take a look at the binoculars over there. Those are Marines running on that beach over there.”



“Oh!”



He looked and said, “They're running hard!”



“It depends if their command is pissed at them whether they're running in the water. I'd say those guys have had just as hard of a day as Jess has. He's got them nearly knee deep. That's got to be hell on their legs and not so nice on their feet. Makes for blisters later.”



Jerry was paying attention and I pointed, “Jerry, on the back porch here, the stairs come out and then go off to the side. I know it's more original that way, but I hate them. See if you can get them to cascade down like the front in wood with me wide enough spots for planters like I've got out front. I want to use the veranda and the porch, but it's not getting used because I don't like those steps.

I'd love to have an outdoor grill like that one inside, but you see how one little thing fucks me mentally.”



He nodded.



“I'm wanting these houses to be my whole life houses. I've told Dave I won't tolerate imperfections and we'll rip out and redo until I'm happy. If I'm going to live with something for the rest of my life, I'm NOT going to live with something hating your guts for the rest of my life because I'm not happy.”



“We'll need to work close.”



“Yes, and that means you need to listen because I'm telling you right now what I will and won't tolerate.” I paused and pointed, “That's Arnold Palmer's place over there Jaymes.”



“It's huge! It looks bigger than Rockcliffe!”



“It is. That place cost that man something like twenty million dollars. I've not been in it, but you know how it looks and you see it out there willing to catch the wind from a hurricane, so I bet you it's sturdy and designed for it.”



Jerry asked, “What's this one rated at?”



“I was told it was designed for fours easily and lower fives. We've had some humdinger of storms where I know we were getting gusts blowing the rain off this roof clear out beyond those trees out there, but not once was I afraid enough to come down out of here.”



I turned to Jerry, “In Missouri, we're going to work real close with each other on the garage and pool house. I'm going to want a bigger apartment up there, but no elevator. It's my hope that space will be used for fan club if this singing career gets off the ground.”



I went over to the computer and said, “Excuse me for a moment, I need to send these videos to Clive.”



I loaded them in a bundle and sent them in an email. Then, I played them. Jaymes looked around, “Man, the speakers up here are awesome!”



“Bose in the rafters and four subs. I'm sure I could shake this off the top of here if I wanted, but the neighbors haven't complained and that's not what I'm seeking.”



He smiled, “I like this music!”



“It's ancient Patti Labelle, 'New Attitude'. It's from the first Beverly Hills Cop movie.”



“Really?”



“I'm wanting to say it was 1985. Your Dad and I weren't even aware of each other then, I don't think.”



After that, I hit Pink's 'U and Ur Hand'



As they played, I sang and when Dave came up, he smiled, “Those two songs are symbolic!”



I smiled and said, “Tell me what the next one means when it falls in then!”



Pablo and Caesar's Rain Dance kicked on and Dave smiled, “It sounds like a funked up disco version of Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass!”



“It's Rain Dance by Pablo and Caesar. It hits me and I love the way I can listen to it and dance, kick dance, box out, or relax listening to it.”



After it was over, Pussy Cat Dolls 'Don't Cha' came on and I hit the funky throatiness of it.



I said, “Guys, I could sing up here all day long. Let's get out of here. My Rolls is screaming my name for a ride.”



Dave chuckled, “Your ex is going to get a Uhaul. He's decided to get back to Alabama.”



“His loss. He won't make that much money back there.”



“No, but he won't get it off saying this place is his when he's with his lover if he's kicked off the place.”



We got to the ground floor and I handed the blueprints over. “I want those back.” One the way out, I shut the entire house down.



Jerry asked, “Did the house just shut down all the lights?”



“Yeah, it's programmable.”



When we got to the garage, I walked around the Rolls and got in. I backed it out of the garage and parked it.



“Dave, look around and see if you see anything wrong.”



“What's wrong?”



“I'll tell you as soon as you don't see it. When I get my hands on him, he's going to be lucky I'm not choking the shit out of him.”



We walked around and Dave said, “I'm not seeing it.”



“Ok, let me explain it to you. You'd not see it and none of you did. You apparently didn't order the car, so you're not seeing it, but if you were spending your time back home in Alabama changing out tires, and you happened onto a million dollar car with tires which were aero tires made by Michelin, you'd certainly, want them.”



“Oh shit!”



“Eleven hundred apiece tires replaced by Goodrich.”



I opened the trunk and said, “The spare isn't even in there. That's a fucking option for twelve hundred for a full sized spare.”



Dave said, “I'll have them look at the video.”



He called and said, “We need to go back in and wait for him to get here. That's felonious theft.”



“I want the tires back. He gets the tires and the spare and I get to keep the Goodrich for him violating the warranty on this car for the tires. You might want to contact the Goodrich dealer here and see if they put tires on my car and if so, when.”



“I'll get on it.”



I went to the house and looked up the dealer. I dialed, “Hello, this is Rhette Michaels. I need to speak with the owner please.”



“My name is Earl Daniels, I'm the general manager.”



“Ok, I'll try you Earl, but I need to know who the owner is should I need to go to him with this.”



“What's the problem?”



“Ok, I'll tell you what the problem is. My Rolls was specially ordered with Michelin Aeros on it. I left to go back to Missouri and when I got back, it's sitting on Goodrich tires instead of the Michelin. I want to know when it was done and I want to know where my tires went.”



“What color of Rolls?”



“Do you get so many in there you forgot and I'll tell you while I'm telling you it is black with red accents, it's probably the only million dollar car with those tires because it was specially ordered with those tires and wheels. I'll also tell you when you touched those wheels and tires it became a violation of the warranty and the assistance of felonious theft by the punk who took it to you. Now, care to let me know when it happened?”



“If this is getting into litigation, I can't comment.”



“Just let me know. The kid's about to load a Uhaul and run out of town. When it happens, I'll tell you for damaging a million dollar car, he won't reach his destination. Now, would you like to hear what will happen to your tire store if I've got to be nasty about it?”



“I can't comment.”



“Thank you Mr Daniels. I happen to know now where you live. Thank God you're in the phone book.”



I hung up and said, “Dave, go take my car and let the man know I'm not fucking around with this.”



“Rhette, let him do it.”



I turned, “Go grab Earl Daniels and bring him here. We'll see how badly he wants to endure pain for the punk.”



Jaymes was looking wide eyed. I smiled, “Hon, lesson one is not to piss me off by fucking with my vehicles. That car has video in it and we're about to verify when it got taken and who was driving it. I'll have sound with that.”



I scanned through the in car surveillance and pulled up the tapes and all the footage and got it logged into the flash drive.



Dave nodded, “We've got him. Play the audio. I want to hear how he was able to get them to take tires off a car which never could go flat.”



We listened and heard how he didn't like the sound of the tires and how it rode.



The Uhaul came and Dave said, “I'll be back.”



“No problem Dave.”



He went out and I said, “Jaymes, now you see why I've got video all over the place. No one damages and no one hurts without being seen.”



Jess was brought duck walking into the house. Dave stood him in the living room and I said, “Where are the tires for the Rolls?”



“What tires?!”



“The tires you had removed. It's a felony and I've got all the video proof I need to have you killed right now. If you think I'm wasting time on taking it to a corrupt Sheriff's department, you need to think again. There are far too many gators in these swamps.”



I played the footage and had the sound turned up. “Do you want to deny you don't know anything about the tires now? I mean, I've done sent my security man to get Earl Daniels who seems to want to put his life on the line with yours over some tires. Now, either give them back, or be prepared to give me what's comparable in value.”



Dave said, “Rhette, we're not doing a tit for tat thing. He knowingly stole from you. You've got it on file. So, rather than go that route, he'd lose it all if he went to prison for the ten years, so take all he's got now. Put his ass in the jet and dump him over his home town with a parachute. He'll get the idea on how to figure it out or he won't.”



I said, “Jess, I nearly drove that car to eat while you packed. You should've known I would've walked around the car and since I ordered those tires special, they wouldn't have been ignored.”



My cell phone rang, “Yeah.”



“Sam at the front gate. The fella who is your security is here with the Sheriff.”



“Tell them to come in.”



I hung up and said, “The Sheriff has your guy Dave. They're coming in.”



I turned to Jess. “If you can get packed in the next three minutes, you can get out of here. If you can't, what you leave behind will incriminate you. I'm showing that video to the Sheriff and as corrupt as the bastard is, I look for you to be able to skate on the charges. BUT, I'll tell you the moment we're all over the Governor, you'll be arrested and the Sheriff's department will once again find themselves in contempt.”



He glared at me, “You do realize he'll ride with me on this, don't you?”



“You do realize he's out of his jurisdiction here and I don't give a fuck. Dave there can have you dead in less time than it takes to have him here. Wanna try?”



“Your tires are in the garage. I can always say you asked me to get them off for you.”



“I can always pull up video and sound. Don't fuck with me on this. You'll lose. Dave, show him a bit of pain.”



Dave punched into his shoulder blade from behind. He went down and I said, “Takes your breath doesn't it? It's muscles. Nothing's broken, but you'll be stiff and sore for a few days.”



The gate signal chimed. I went to the door and said, “Why Sheriff Jackson!”



“It seems we got one of your guys attempting to kidnap a fella.”



“Is that so? Or are you trumping up charges again?”



“Earl Daniels says you threatened him.”



“Steve, if you can't prove it, drop it. If you had something, I wouldn't be seeing that man here, but while you're here, I do have charges on Jess in here. Care to press them?”



“I'm out of my jurisdiction.”



“Damn the luck! Then you sure as hell can't arrest when he gets the fuck beat out of him for vandalizing my Rolls.”



He turned and said, “Your Rolls looks fine.”



“Take a closer look Steve. Exactly why would that man be attempting to grab the Goodrich tire salesman if the car has Michelin Aeros on it? But then again, where did the Aeros go?”



“Oh!”



“This punk in here vandalized my car to the tune of about ten grand. Four tires plus a spare are gone. At eleven hundred each for the Aeros and twelve for the spare, plus the ruined warranty on them, that's about ten grand...but, you're out of your jurisdiction. It'd certainly do you some good if you'd arrest on some equally trumped up charges like him growing pot in my potting shed.”



“What?!”



“Yeah, it seems while I was away to Missouri, he lost his fucking mind and decided to say this house was his, fuck a boy senseless in my basement, grow pot out in the shed, and kick the tires off my car. Isn't it a shame you're out of your jurisdiction because you sure as know when Dave's here, it's gotten to be serious.”



Steve looked over at Dave. “Dave.”



“Shut the fuck up punk.”



Steve blanched and said, “You ask me to do you a favor and you can't get your help to be civil.”



“Thank God I don't have Gypsy here. She's probably break a rule and piss on your foot or something.”



He looked up at me, “I'm not going to press charges on your security man. In regards to that one, can I give you some advice?”



“Not if you're aren't arresting. We'll take care of this in the backwoods manner.”



“That's what my advice was gonna be. Let him know what a swamp feels like and let him know what it's like to not be able to be allowed to enter here. If he loses all he has in here, he'll know how I felt.”



Dave said, “Jess, it sounds like the Sheriff isn't really on your side, or on Rhette's side. It does sound like he's playing into my hand, so that'd be wonderful the way I feel right now.”



I turned to Steve. “Thank you for returning my security man.”



“Don't get caught violating the law out there.”



“Steve, here's a tidbit for you. Do you see that video? It's from in the car. That's what got you contempt charges from the Governor. If you dare pull me over, you best hope you've got that car in the crusher before you get to the side of it because your threat for me just got recorded in this house. Do you wanna see?”



“Rhette, I'm trying to be civil here.”



“Be uncivil with someone else, but those in this room are out of this with us...except Jess. You might see if you can make that truce with you and your officers.”



He looked over at Jaymes. “He's one of my new and upcoming stars. We've got to fatten him up and slim his Dad down, but they're going to be on a new show of ours.”



“He's on drugs.”



“Such a spot observation about someone who's anorexic is shameful. His drug of choice is starvation! If you drop a urine on him, he'd probably get excited you wanted to see his peepee because he thinks him being so fucking skinny makes it looking bigger.”



Jaymes was chuckling and Dave had a grin on his face.



Steve turned, “If he wants to fatten you up, take the offer. It makes you look like you're on drugs.”



Jaymes said, “We were trying to go to a place called Mabel's and the Crab Shack to eat. Then Rhette got all hyped about his car.”



I said, “Jaymes, Steve here is equally as hyped about his Rolls. He got my other one.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, it's not a million dollar one, but he got parting prizes for being my ex.”



Jaymes asked, “What you do dumb enough to be Rhette's ex?”



Steve looked at me, “We couldn't make it. I disrespected a friend of his.”



I turned to Jaymes, “Let's just say Steve was like the Terrier from hell. He humped Pink's leg and had to be pried off. When he was pried off, he went back and humped again until she didn't find it amusing anymore.

The moral of the story is when your boyfriend wants you to dress up like someone, it's not smart of him to get off on the one he wants you to dress up as. It pisses off her boyfriend and his.”



Jaymes smiled and shook his head. “I've not met Pink yet. I did meet El and Anna. I'm sure glad I didn't try humping either one of them!”



Steve smirked, “I never got to meet them.”



Steve turned to me and said, “The kid's teeth have had work. They're as perfect as yours.”



“Steve, have you ever heard of a show called the 'Courtship of Eddie's Father?'”



“Yeah.”



“He and his Dad are going to be in it. He'll be older, but his Dad is an ex of mine and they look nearly identical.”



“How long ago was he an ex of yours?”



“Back before I moved to Kansas City to be with Tony. Both of us regret that decision, but Jaymes there looks identical to his Dad if he were twenty pounds heavier. As you can see, I have the ability to get very attractive men, it's just the ability to hang onto them which escapes me.”



I turned to Jess. “Here's the deal. Get your shit...as much of it as you can on that U-haul and you've got twenty minutes. I'll be so kind to have the fellas help you. When we leave, you'll be followed off here and once you leave, it's trespassing.

You do NOT go to the club house and you do NOT collect two hundred dollars but you do advance to GO.”



Jaymes chuckled and even Steve smirked.



Jess looked over and said, “Don't touch a thing of mine.”



“I'm setting the alarm on my phone. At the end of twenty minutes all you leave here is considered trash. If you'd like, please feel free to take those plants with you. I'm sure Steve can arrange to have you pulled over in each county along the way and made to unpack the truck and allow a drug dog to go through it.”



I held up my cell phone and Jess asked, “Could I get some money for the trip home?”



Dave blew. “Jesus Christ! You steal from him and you ask for mercy and you get it. Then, you want charity!”



I said, “Jess, the truck has a full tank in it. I'll buy you a Shell card to refill it. If it can't make it back there on that fuel, then you need to call someone who gives a fuck or ask that kid you had bent over my recliner for some money.”



Steve looked shocked and I pulled up the video. “There's seven of them. Connected at the end is him working in the potting shed.”



Jess went out of the house and Dave walked out behind him. “Dave! He doesn't want any help!”



I set the alarm on my phone and said, “Steve, stop perving on my ex.”



“I can't believe he'd cheat on you in your house!”



“You nearly did the same thing.”



“I said I was sorry!”



“And then arrested me seventeen times...ran me through court sixteen and played a mockery of our judicial system.”



“You got your swipes in.”



“Yeah, because I don't have a thing to hide. Needless to say, I'm not ashamed of telling personal things in court.”



He looked over at Jaymes, “The kid's got eyes for you.”



“Because we made out this afternoon.”



“I thought you said there was nothing there!”



“There isn't...unless I want there to be. Now, come here and listen to the song and watch what will be the video to it.”



I put up the slide show and played the song. He watched and said, “Wow! That's like watching you make out!”



“All clothes are on.”



“You look good there.”



He continued to watch and said, “The song is rather raw like it needs to be honed.”



“It's because that's the original first time through it recorded. I wrote that song.”



“You did! Is that you singing?”



“Yeah.”



“Man! I didn't know you had it in you!”



“I didn't. All clothes were left on!” I said smiling.



He chuckled, “I meant the song writing.”



“I'll play you another song. Listen to it and see what you think. I'll leave you a Kleenex and go out and leave you be.”



“Why?”



“Because everyone from hardened producers, to that camera man, to mafia people were all crying listening to it.”



“Don't do that to me. I still think about Brokeback.”



“Then watch La Cage a Folle. You'll get over it.”



“Always the wise guy.”



“I've been a wise guy longer than I've been a guy. Listen to the song and let me know what you think.”



I pressed the media player and turned it up and walked out into the hallway and into the front parlor. Jaymes asked, “You letting him listen to them?”



“Yeah, I want to haunt his ass with what might've been with him.”



“He's a babe...well, both of them are.”



“Maybe they can hook up.”



“Can we hook up since you're single?”



I smiled, “We'll see, the day's young yet.”



“What's that mean?”



“It means I'm jacking here when I should be getting out there and getting Jess off my property.”



“Your alarm hasn't went off.”



“No it hasn't.”



“He's got you pissed.”



“The game player thought he was about something. He definitely should've thought about all I showed him when he first moved in.”



“You showed him all the video?”



“Yeah, and even had him try the car video out so it'd be perfected. How can he forget it's in there?!”



“Maybe he thought since you didn't say anything about his screwing around, he was safe.”



“Don't ever count on being safe. If I'm not catching you, someone else will be.”



“Does that mean we have a chance?”



“Let's wait and see. I'm not playing you, I'm just wanting to be sure you're wanting it by the end of the day.”



The song ended and I said, “I'm going to go gloat.”



“I'll go help Jess move out.”



“Ask him before you touch anything. Don't assume because you'll find yourself buying something if it gets broke.”



He nodded and I went into the dining room. Steve was looking out the window. He turned and looked at me and said, “You wrote that song about us...didn't you?”



“Does it tell?”



“Rhette, it's sad. I hear you saying you wanted love and never got it. Got played and played in return.”



“Life's too short to play games. Now, what about you? Are you willing to give love another shot?”



“Why?”



“I'll take that as a 'No'. I was going to suggest you and Jess getting together. You two are more into the same things and you're most likely going to hit it off.”



“He's not my type. You and that kid in the living room are my type.”



“Small, effeminate, and one of us is gullible to let it happen again.”



“How'd I burn you so bad with what I did?”


“Let me tell you so you can think about it. I ended a relationship of fourteen years over him screwing around. You and I get together and you TOLD me you'd not be another him...bullshit.

I'll tell you the moment you flirted, that's one thing, but the moment you got closer and got told it wasn't cool, that was crossing the line. Then, when you did it again in front of me, that was crossing the line too far. You broke the line and became an embarrassment.”



“But you weren't clear!”



“Steve, listen. When a girl tells you that you need to watch out for what you're doing, she's telling you...listen up dude, that might fly with some other chick, but I'm not finding it cool one bit at all...when she walks away from you, it's telling you to stay where you are and not be an idiot because she's finding it embarrassing. You went on over there to try being cutesy again.

When I went over to call you on the carpet for it, it wasn't about me being jealous. It's about me telling you, 'Hey dumb ass, put your dick back in your pants, she's not finding it cute, and your mental masturbation all over her wasn't ignored. Instead, I and she got told we're being idiots! Guess what, I chose to get her out of there and let you think about it for a few days.

Well, even now, you can't see what you did. Maybe you don't know 'girl talk' but that's what she said and that's what her body language meant. If you couldn't get that, then you really need to rethink.”



“You're still pissed about it!”



“Because I let an outsider come in and fuck up potential friendships and that's not happening. One thing I should definitely have told you is the odds of you staying my lover versus being my friend are very low.

I go through them until I find the right one. You WERE the right one until you have a fucking brain seizure which knocked your stupid ass out of my date book.

The way I saw it was if it's not Pink, then it's Mrs Jones at the Country Club, or maybe Mrs Pernell downtown when I'm not there...or maybe it's Jess packing his shit out front.

Just the same, we've got ourselves split over it and I'm moving on. How you handle it deems whether we can be friends or if we're going to fuck with each other. I'll tell you the moment you get too close to home, I'm going to make a phone call which gets you killed. You should know I'm not joking, so cut the shit.”



“What's that mean? Are you threatening me?”



“Let's say you decide to arrest me for something which has teeth. It's not the usual fun and games and it's escalated a notch. Yeah, I do say you're stalking me, but you're using your job to do it. Soon, I'll have a case against you for that and we'll prosecute.

BUT, let's say you want to fuck with me and up it a notch. That tells me you're getting emboldened and need to just be gotten rid of before I end up in prison. You'll disappear because I'll be damned if I'm going to let you sink me.”



“That's a threat!”



“Hang on. Let's go make it a promise kept! You're a dumb ass and all Dave's been waiting for is my word.”



“Rhette, I don't want no problems with you. I think you went off the deep end over nothing and wish you'd reconsider.”



“I'm sorry, but Jess is packing his shit. You two seem to think screwing around on each other is a sport. I'm not up for the games.”



“I'll be friends. Can we see each other sometime?”



“As friends? Or, are you trying to get a reservation in to knock a piece off?”



“Damn! You get all defensive!”



“I'll say for what I think, it'd sound nice. For what I think you intend, we'll go out in my car so the moment I say 'No' and you go across that line, you brain goes through the fuckin' window. Ok? I'm not playing because you happened to drink a little too much and thought you were Casanova. Do that shit with someone else. We are through and life got simpler without you in it for me.”



“You're sending mixed signals.”



“Let me tell you something. I'll take that back to being the word 'NO' and you see how mixed that was. I'll not wake up finding myself raped with you being the conspirator. You're too damned crooked and I'm not going to take it.”



My alarm went off and I shut it off. “That's my cue to turn into a bitch.”



I turned and walked out. I held up my phone and said, “Jess, it's time to go.”



He sounded panicked and harried, “I'm damned near packed, ok?!”



Dave said, “Rhette, we're helping. We can't get the jet ski in.”



“Take the top down on the Jeep and put it in if he's not going to pull it behind the thing.”



Dave said, “The boat is going out back.”



“Then put the thing in the boat or tell him to leave it at the Sheriff's department and come back to get it.”



Jess looked up, “When I leave, I'm not coming back for anything.”



“You shouldn't've come out here for me if you were going to turn all your words into lies.”



“I never lied to you!”



“Think seriously before you say that. I happened to record the phone calls. Why do you think they were on my home line? Your dick must've took all the blood away and left your brain in a void.”



I said, “What's in the Uhaul and why didn't you get a 24'?”



“Because this was five dollars cheaper! And will be cheaper on gas.”



“Yeah, pulling that jeep pulling a boat is going to be cheaper. The fuckin' Jeep would've fit in the uhaul and that wave runner would've fit in there as well. You could've put the dirt bikes in beside and how in the hell did you get all this out here in one trip?”



Steve came out and said, “Jess, if you want, you can take it to my place.”



Jess looked up, “Why?”



“Because Rhette's about to throw you off this place and I could get you more time to consider your plans there.”



“Steve, just tell him you'd like him to consider dating. Jess, let's cut through the bullshit, Steve wants to see if you two can cheat on each other while saying you're real good for the other.”



Dave smirked and Jaymes just outright laughed.



I turned to Steve. “Your silence is a big enough Thank you...asshole!”



Jess said, “I'm most likely going to go back. I don't want anyone to think otherwise.”



“Damn Jess! Just drive it around the block a few times and kick the tires! He gets into all these toys you've got here and has plenty of ocean to play with. He's got his own hidden harbor and if you play right, you might get to pet his pony.”



Dave laughed, “Rhette, let them get this load over and do what they need.”



“Steve, let me take you up and park your patrol car and then, bring you back. Then, you can drive his Jeep pulling the boat and he can pull the wave runner behind the Uhaul. He can bring you back in the Jeep and you can do whatever. Let's get a move on because I intend on being back to Missouri sometime before dawn tomorrow.”



Steve said, “Take me up and bring me back. Your plan sounds like the best yet.”



“Get in.”



He went over and I followed him up to the entrance. When he came over to the car, I said, “That belt comes off. You're not fucking up my seat in this!”



“I'm on duty.”



“Take it off.”



“Ok, it goes back on when I get to your house.”



We drove back and he said, “You're not driving fifteen miles an hour.”



“And they fired the Sheriff for enforcing the law too much in here.”



“You had to have someone who knew the law.”



“No, you'd be amazed at how many people suggested things when I put your false arrest on YouTube. Suddenly, I had the Attorney General calling me and you'd be amazed at how he found loopholes to skirt you. With all you were doing, the citizen's board here certainly wasn't about to let me put the house on the market so soon...but I was to the point I was going to go to court and put it all out there in records for everyone to see and read. I didn't give a shit if it cost me ten grand or not! Now, there's a record against you and the Judge.”



“And a story out there on the web stating how corrupt our county is with me by name.”



“Duh, fuck with the writer, die by the word. I won't pull it...not having the video I've got and all the transcripts to prove it.”



“You got a check.”



“Which went right to the Attorney General's office. They fingerprinted it and your Judge was kind enough to have been the one who wrote it and put himself up on contempt and conspiracy charges for it. You better know I gladly let go of that check to press the charges. I'll have another day in court.”



“Rhette, don't mess with these people.”



“Steve, stop fucking with me and get on the right side of me. DON'T ever imply anything like what you just said while I've got recording capability in this car.”



He looked surprised.



“Yeah, I spent the money to outfit this car with video all over the place when you started your shit. I figured if I was going to be a part of your violations of your oath, I was going to get insurance.

I've got it now and please don't ever think you're going to do anything to me in this car or that truck. Both have video and I'll tell you I'm driving the truck a helluva lot more than I am this car now. In fact, this car will probably roll to Missouri when I get the new house built there. We're putting my other cars in New York where that new house will be built.”



“Where are you building a house there?”



“Someplace where it's going to probably have a thousand people watching it and photographing it at any given time. It's going to be the most protected house outside of the White House.”



“That didn't tell me where it was.”



“It's on an island within view of the Statue of Liberty. I bought the whole fuckin' island. Now, we're deciding if I can do what I want to get the house built, or if I've got to play them.”



“What's that mean?”



“It means I'm not dumb enough to answer that and have you subpoena this tape to use against me.”



We pulled back in the drive and I said, “To save you time, I'll have Dave drive this car and drive the Jeep if you want. It never crossed my mind until now...that is unless Jess doesn't want me to.”



“He's cute, but he's not you.”



“He had me convinced he wanted a relationship. Now, I'll be able to go out on the road and perform without anyone making me feel like I'm not giving him enough of my affection.”



“Is that what this was about?”



“No, this was about me coming home to finding him screwing someone in my house while he's supposed to be faithful and the man watching over my place telling me he's growing shit in the potting house.”



We parked and I got out. “Jess, if you want, I can drive the Jeep and have Dave drive my Rolls.”



“No, that's ok.”



“I thought I'd offer.”



I turned to Steve. “Well, it looks like you need to get him off my property. When you get there, you tell him the ins and outs of restraining orders and trespassing. Tell him I'll have all the plants on this place checked and if I find a grove on my property, I'll spray weed killer on them. You best know I'm not a part of that and think you can bring DEA in. I'll certainly show them the video to prove I'm clear.”



“It never crossed my mind.”



“Just see you and he don't think to let anything like that cross your mind. I'd hate to have to be a bitch.”



He turned to Jess, “Let's get goin'.”



I turned to Dave. “Is everything loaded?”



“Yeah.”



“Good. Let's get them off the property.”



I went over to Jaymes, “You might call your Dad and tell him we're most likely driving this car back to Missouri. I'm not leaving it here for him to think he can fuck with.”



“Why?”



“Because I know if I leave out of here right now, I can be there by tomorrow at noon. If I leave out of here at midnight, I can be there by five o'clock tomorrow night. Right now, all I care about is getting them off the property and getting something to eat.”



They loaded in the Uhaul and in the Jeep and drove away. We loaded in the car and at the gate, I hit the panic alarm and locked the house down.



We drove down to the gate and I told Sam's replacement to not allow anyone in going to my house unless I was there to escort them.



When we got to Mabel's, she smiled and gave everyone large hugs. I introduced Jaymes and she said, “Finally, you bring me someone I can see loves you!”



“Do you think so?”



“Honey, you parade them through here and Steve thought he loved you, but this one shows it in his eyes and the way he watches you.”



“I need to get him fattened up.”



She smiled, “It's not likely to happen. For him, it'll take forever to get the weight on him.”



“He had it on but lost it.”



“I've got some of your nice strawberry pies. Would you like one?”



“Yes, but what I'd love to beg of you is some of the chicken sandwiches.”



She smiled, “Eat your fill and I'll have them ready for you.”



We went and sat down and the waitress came for our drink order. Dave said, “Jaymes, this place is nothing but good food. None of it's out of a box, I don't think. Eat it and know you've went to someone's grandma's house to eat.”



When we went up, I said, “The key to eating a lot here is to fill your plate with meat. Then, get all your veggies in the next go round. When you're full, that's when it's time to eat the salads and pies.”



“Is that how you do it?”



“Yeah, I fill up on the meat first. It's what's best.”



We went through and I had the platter stacked. When we got back to the table, I said, “Save bones for the dogs. They're most likely going to hate my guts when we get home.”



We ate and I said, “Dave, I'm going to take you guys to the plane and then, I'm driving the Rolls on through to Missouri. I want it there.”



“What about Gyp and Brad?”



“They've got food. Gyp lets him eat while she goes and finds all her hidden bones in the house. I'll tell you now he hides his bones in her bed and she hides hers in under the sofa. She lets him get his and then, she lays on her bed guarding hers and gnawing away.”



“What about them going to the bathroom?”



“Once again, Gyp trained him. They go to the toilet down in the basement at the drain. Gyp knows it's the only safe place in the house to do it.”



Dave asked, “Are you sure?”



“I told him I'd get him a Shell card. I've got to do that. Then, I've got to get the car fueled. I've driven it enough, I know how to get there fast.”



“I could have someone drive it back for you.”



I looked over at Jaymes and asked, “Which would you prefer?”



“It doesn't matter to me. I like being around you.”



When we'd eaten, I said, “Let's go to the Crab Shack and see Louis. I want to show Jaymes the entertainment.”



Dave smiled, “You're absolutely vicious underneath.”



“Hey! I can't help it! I think they're awesome!”



Jaymes asked, “What is it?”



“It's live entertainment at it's finest.”



Dave chuckled, “That's bad.”



We got up and Mabel gave me the pie and a big sack. “I packed a few things for him also.”



“Thank you!” I said hugging her.



“Don't be a stranger.”



“I'm not.”



We drove up to the Crab Shack and went in. Louis got there immediately. “Jess just left with Steve.”



“Good, were they getting along?”



“I think your current is messing with your ex.”



“Both are exes now. IF that's what they want, great!”



He laughed, “You're terrible!”



“I need a chicken quarter, I want to show Jaymes the entertainment.”



“I'll get you four. One isn't enough for you especially if you're showing them to someone.”



“Thanks.”



He went back and got them and I said, “Come on.”



Dave said to Jerry, “Come on, let's go watch.”



We went out on the deck and Jaymes asked, “What's out here?”



“You see all those yellow eyes out there?”



“Yeah.”



“Gators.”



“What!”



Jerry instantly stepped back against the building.



“That's why there's chicken wire down here. Some guy came out to piss and stumbled. He nearly lost his foot before he got it back.”



“You're not joking!”



“Nope. Now, you see this long pole here? It's a catch pole. Not everyone gets to do it, but he lets me do it.”



I took the pole and said, “See the noose? The chicken goes in it. Put it in while I pull the rope back through the pole.”



“What are you going to do?”



“Catch one.”



“Huh?!”



Dave came over and said, “Rhette, I'll do it first. I think you've scared him.”



I got on the end of the pole and pulled the rope in. The chicken hung there and then I took it out over the railing and slapped the water with it. The water swirled and suddenly, I had one on. I lifted it and Jaymes yelled. “Oh Damn!”



It stayed on squirming and as I brought it closer to the railing, Jaymes ran. Dave laughed and said, “Rhette, let the damned thing go and get a bigger one!”



I pushed on the rope and shook it off.



Jaymes said, “I can't believe you did that!”



“Hey, I'm at this end of the pole. It's easy back here.”



“Can I try?”



“Yeah, but I'll stand by because they're heavy.”



“Really?”



“That one was about sixty pounds. Those big fuckers will drag us all in.”



“Oh man!”



Jerry said, “I hear them. Is that them making that noise?”



“Yeah, they're telling each other the skinny guy in the brown cords is theirs.”



Dave laughed, “Rhette, you need to stop. You know as well as I we're all what's for dinner if they get a chance.”



“Nope, they already know I'm too full of plastic and steel.”



We put the chicken on and put it back out. I made it a point of putting it over towards the edge. Suddenly, there was a large swoosh of water and I yelled, “A big one!”



Jaymes lunged forward and I said, “Don't let it go!”



I grabbed ahold and lifted the end by pushind down on the pole. It rose out of the water not letting go and the pole flexed.



Jaymes yelled, “Oh Damn! That one's huge!”



“About six feet. Feel how heavy he is?”



“Yeah!”



Jerry came over, “Can I feel?”



“Step in here and I'll let go. You need to put your foot against the board. Whatever you do, don't let go of the pole. He'll charge us two hundred dollars for another.”



Jerry grabbed ahold and said, “Man! You guys weren't kidding!”



I said, “Ok, let's let him have the chicken and go for another. This time, you two pull a little one in and I'll show you something.”



“How do we get a little one?!” Jaymes asked wide eyed.



“Out in the middle. The bigger one go to the edge because the littler ones are quicker out in the water. You know when the big ones are hungry when you see the little ones out of the water. They're not dumb.”



Jaymes released the rope and it splashed in. “Man! I can't believe I did that!”



I turned to Dave, “The last one is a photo opportunity.”



He laughed, “You're so strange it's scary!”



I put the chicken on and Jaymes and Jerry slapped the water. In no time, they had one.



“Now pull it in and don't release that rope!”



“Pull it where?!”



“Up to the railing.”



“What?!”



“Do it. I wanna show you something.”



They did and it thrashed around and didn't let go. I stayed at the railing and petted it's head. Jaymes yelled, “What are you doing?!”



“Petting the big lizard. Wanna try?”



“It'll bite me!”



“No it won't. All it's thinking about right now is what it's going to do with that chicken once it gets it.”



“Are you sure?”



“Yeah, he knows he's ate gator and he might've ate human, and everyone says it tastes like chicken, but when he's got the real thing on the hook, he's not letting go.”



Dave laughed, “We gotta get you one.”



“I keep asking, but he said they won't live that far North.”



Jaymes asked Dave, “Would you hold it while I go pet it?”



Dave smiled, “Yeah.”



Dave went back and Jaymes came up. I said, “Right here between his eyes. Don't get too close to his nose. He'll smell you and decide he'd trade the chicken in.”



“Oh!”



He rubbed it and said, “That's rough!”



“Yeah, it makes it's living looking like a log. When some poor dumb ass wants to think it's one, he'll reach out and touch them in the most wickedest of ways.”



“Really?”



“Hon, let me tell you something. These little ones are fast. If we drove home the Southern route, you'd see these things going across the highway just a haulin'. Jilli and I went the Southern route and she couldn't believe it. Then, we saw one closer and she was amazed.”



“Did you bring her here?”



“Oh yeah. Louis told me not to bring her back.”



“Why not?”



“He told me my little sister scared 'em. They stayed on the other side of the pen for two days afterwards.”



Dave let out a huge laugh.



I smiled and said, “I can't believe how easily they believe things.”



He chuckled, “I'm letting it go. Lets get your photo op and then, we'll get in and eat.”



“Eat?!” Jaymes said in surprise.



I smiled at Jaymes. “That's why we're here.”



“We just got through eating!”



“And we'll make our way through a bucket. It's only polite after he gave us this memory.”



“Can I get my picture taken with it like this?”



“Yeah, but let's hurry.”



He petted it and I snapped a picture with the phone. I turned, “Jerry, do you want a picture?”



“Yeah!”



Jaymes went back and Jerry came over. He petted it and I took the picture. Then, Dave let it splash down.



Dave smiled, “Guys, you might want to stand back. Rhette's about to get stupid.”



“It's not stupid Dave!”



“It's dumb Rhette!”



“Dumb is different than stupid.”



He laughed and Jaymes asked, “What are you going to do?”



“Watch and see. I bet you want your picture taken with it.”



We went over to the edge and I put the chicken on. I lay it in front of a big one and when it bit, I drug it out over to the gate. Dave said, “Rhette, I'll hold it, you get yourself in and out damned fast.”



Jaymes looked shocked, “You're going in there?!”



“Yeah.”



“Why?!”



“To show you if you know what you're doing, you can walk amongst them and they're not going to hurt you.”



I handed him my phone. “Take the picture when I'm in there.”



Louis came out, “Rhette, be mindful of Sarge over there. He's watchin'.”



“I see him. If he opens his mouth, I'll be haulin' ass out of there.”



He laughed and said, “You're crazy.”



“Crazy, dumb, and stupid...someone make up my mind!”



I went through the gate and lay down on the gator's back. I rolled up on my side and propped my head up in my hand. “Get the photo Jaym'!”



The flash happened and I said, “Anyone want to try?”



I went out the gate and Jaymes said, “I can't believe you did that!”



“Want a picture?!”



“Will it do anything?”



“No, not that one, but Sarge out there is watching.”



“Which one is Sarge?”



“Sarge has the white spot on top of his head.”



“How'd he get that?”



“Either he got in a fight or someone hit him with an outboard motor, but something got him.”



“What happens if he decides he wants to come get me?”



“First of all, he opens his mouth. That's his sign he's interested. If he turns to come this direction, then, we need to get out of here. He's facing the other direction with his body right now and seems to think if he waits there, someone will throw him food.”



“Is it safe?”



“Get in here. We could've had the picture already taken by now.”



He handed the camera to Louis and came over to the gate. He came in and sat next to the gator. Louis snapped the photo and Jaymes hustled out. I went out and released the chicken. The gator took off to parts where he felt it was safer.



We went in and Louis said, “Load 'em on here. I'll display them and see if anyone's buyin'.”



Jaymes asked, “What's that mean?”



“Here's the legend. Once upon a time, an idiot went into the pen upon a bet. He told folks if they'd pool up for drinks and food, he'd get his photo taken with the gators.

Well, a bunch of drunks all ponied up the money and then, the idiot chickened out. I decided to go for the bet and went in. Now you know the legend and who got all that money.”



He laughed, “How many times has it been done?”



Louis said, “Four times. He went in and then Jilli and then you two. Jilli decided she wanted to arm wrestle her brother on the back of one. Old Sarge thought he'd swing around on her and she ran over and kicked him. Now that's why she scared 'em and I don't want her back. She's too mean for my gators.”



Dave was laughing. “Louis, you forget she fought all those brothers of hers. When you face them, you're not scared of much.”



Louis laughed, “She's got my wife watchin' that damned show bawling every week.”



“This is healthy food, thank goodness you don't own a McDonald's.”



Louis laughed, “Yeah, that's one thing to be thankful for!”



We put the pictures up on the monitor and Louis got on the P.A. System. “Everyone, you missed it. Rhette went out in the cage again a moment ago and took his little friend with him. If you want to see the photos, you gotta pony up.”



Suddenly everyone was throwing dollar bills. Someone asked, “Is it as good as Jilli's?”



“Rhette's is just as daring, but the kid showed nerve.” Louis said smiling.



Someone else yelled, “As many times as Rhette's been in there, they probably consider him family by now!”



Everyone laughed and Louis said, “Rhette seems to think he can decorate with them and make them a part of the furniture. Take a look at that! He's got that one as a recliner!”



The picture went up and more money got thrown. I whispered to Jaymes, “Get that money quick!”



“Man! I can't believe this!” He went getting the money and I got up on stage.



I took the mic and said, “Folks, I'm going to give you a scoop. That guy over there is Jaymes. He and his Dad are about to become stars. How many of you are old enough to remember the show from the seventies called the 'Courtship of Eddie's Father'?”



A lot of people remembered and I said, “He's going to be Eddie. His Dad is my age and looks just like him. He'll play the Dad. Together, they're going to be starring in the show and they'll be advertising a lot of the toys your kids buy at Christmas this year. Remember his face because you'll have met him before he got famous.”



Jaymes smiled and I said, “And, he's now a part of the legend. Show him your support and let's put his picture up on there for everyone to see.”



Money rained and then, I put the photo up. “That's his glamour shot...the gator's, I mean!”



Everyone laughed and Louis laughed, “Rhette, you're going to get someone killed in there one day.”



“Nope, don't let 'em in. IF they don't know how easy it is, they won't dare it.”



He laughed, “You're nuts.”



I went down and asked Jaymes, “How much was the haul?!”



“Over three hundred dollars!”



“That bought supper.”



He laughed, “Someone gave us a bucket of whatever you want.”



“That'd be Louis. Let's go dish up!”



I turned to Dave, “I'll get us plates. Do you want a beer?”



“Yeah.”



Someone yelled, “I want to see Jilli kickin' Sarge!”



Louis laughed, “Ok, here it is folks. Thank Rhette because he put it on video.”



He put on the video and Jaymes turned towards the screen. “Oh man! It was during the daylight too!”



When the kick happened, Jilli got an ovation and a huge cheer. I told Louis, “I know you care for them and view it as cruelty to animals, but these people sure like a tough woman.”



He laughed, “Thank God I didn't show that video while she was here and they were happy with yours, otherwise, they'd not have any money left.”



“Put this money in the kitty.”



“Why?”



“Because I want to test a song out on them. I've written two and I'm about to record an album.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, one of them is going to really be good and the other isn't going to be so good, it'll be great. I'll probably sing the son of a bitch the rest of my life.”



“Really?”



I turned, “Dave, you ready to see this place get wild?”



He laughed, “More than it already is?!”



I went up on stage and stood behind the piano. I kicked on the mic and said, “Folks, there are two songs I'd like to sing. The first one is going to rock the house down and the next one will make you cry. Which do you want to hear first?”



Someone yelled, “Let's dance baby!”



I laughed, “I can't sing it if I'm dancin'! Promise me a rain check on that and I'll definitely save it for you!”



Everyone laughed and I went into “You Can't Do That.”



When people caught on, I said, “That's the way it's supposed to be sang. I know you like a fella's voice, so let's sing it the way you want to hear it.”



I kicked into it with a Bob Seager sound and the place went wild. At the end, I said, “Now, right before I wrote that one, I wrote this one. If you've ever been in love. If you ever WANT to be in love. If you've ever had to let go of a bad relationship. Or, if you just plain have bad feelings about something, this is the song which will definitely have you bawlin'. It's sad, so I'm warnin' ya the gators will too busy tryin' to figure out how come the pond's getting' full and it's not rainin' to take anyone out for dinner should you decide it's over.”



I kicked into “Baby, I'm Sorry” and when I was done, Louis came running to the stage.



He grabbed the mic and said, “God Dayamned I sure don't want to hear that in Bob Seager's voice! I'm already bawled out!”



The crowd stood there stunned, Louis laughed, “Hon, that song there is terrible for business!”



I got off the stage and as I walked by, I got hugs from everyone. Grown men had tear stains down their faces and women were still crying.



Louis said, “Folks, Rhette is a person of many talents. You've seen him dressed up and you've seen him dressed down and now, we see he can write a dayamned ballad which knocks us off our bar stools. Let's give him a big hand.”



By the time I got back to the table, Dave was smiling, “You're good. They're going to be hits in the bar circuit.”



“Let's get ready to leave before they decide they want more.”



He laughed, “There's a song there. A bar song about 'One Road for the More!”



I laughed, “Oh man!”



I went up to the mic and laughed, “Folks, Dave just gave me an idea. So, we're going to try it and you'll see a song written in front of you.”

I paused and said, “First of all, we need a PIE-ANNA. It's gotta have a funky tune like this. And THEN....AND THEN....It's gotta have some words.”



I started to sing, “All the ugly ones look purty. All the purty ones are all gone. They went out the door, but I'm here and it's dawn, hey barkeep, give me One Road for the More!”



Everyone laughed and I continued to sing.



“My bottle has a figure. It sure looks good. Wide at the bottom and gives great head. It tickles my tongue and slides down real good. Hey barkeep, gimme “More Road for the One!”



It got a lot more laughter.



“I'm feeling real sassy. The barkeep's real bossy. He says to get myself out of here. He says last call was hours ago, but my money is tippin' and he's happy. Hey barkeep! “One More Road for the.....uhhh.”



By now everyone was laughing constantly. I did a George Jones hiccup and went without music.



“The door keeps movin'. I gotta pee. I'm drunk as a sailor out on leave. Hey barkeep, gimme 'More for the one road!”



The barkeeps helpin' move me along. My shirts all stained and my friends are all gone. What the hell happened? What's this in my head? Why am I feelin' gravel and feel about half dead. Hey barkeep, where'd the hell did you go!”



Everyone laughed and I said, “IF you didn't notice folks, that's my sign I gotta go. I love ya, don't forget me.”



I kicked off my cell phone and emailed the recording to Clive. I said goodbyes and soon, we were out in the Rolls.



Louis came out, “Rhette, Thanks.”



“No problem.”



“I think you livened them back up.”



“I couldn't poop your party.”



He laughed, “That last one is going to be a huge hit. All the bars will be playin' it.”



“Dave gave me the inspiration. As you can see, that's how easy song writing comes to me. Think about what I gotta say and get it out in a little rhyme.”



“You're good with it. You get 'em laughin' and you can bring 'em down. You can get 'em dancin' too which is good.”



“Thanks for tonight Louis.”



“Bye.”



We pulled out and Dave said, “Rhette, did you just think of it that fast?!”



“Yeah, that's how they come. With 'Baby', I had a bit of a time because I'd just left that one in bed and felt bad about not being able to meet his expectations. Then, it got me to thinking about all the times I've said 'I'm sorry' and somewhere in there is a part about feeling how I made my Mom feel when I went to prison. When you put those emotions out in words, it's hell.”



Jerry said, “That melody is haunting.”



“Anna and I talked about it being a title track for a remake of 'Love Story'.”



Dave suddenly said, “Oh man! Do you want me to see if I can get the rights to it?”



“If you do, throw it to Brad Pitt and Angie. It'd be good for them. I'll direct it.”



“Really?”



“Yeah, as well as produce it. IF I can get it, it'll be a major coup. I'll pay them whatever they want, but if they don't bite, then Jaymes is going to get it and we'll see if Ashley Judd wants the other lead.”



He said, “Let me call and see who owns it.”



My cell phone rang, “It's Clive. I betcha he's opened that damned recording I made and loves it.”



“Which one?”



“Road”



“You recorded it?!” Jaymes asked.



“Yeah, on my phone and then, I emailed it to him.”



I answered, “Hello?”



“Where were you performing that?!”



“The Crab Shack.”



“Oh my God! I listened to it and laughed. Then, I listened to it and laughed again. That song is hilarious!”



“Dave thought up the title. I decided to go up and record it as I wrote it and performed it. What you heard is the first draft of it as I made it up and performed it.”



“You gotta be kiddin' me!”



“Nope.”



“And then you emailed it to me?”



“Yeah. As soon as I shut off the mic, I emailed it. We just left there and now, you're callin'.”



“I want you to do that song. It's a hit...well, all of them are.”



“Nine more to go for me to have a full album.”



“Three songs in one day. That's incredible!”



“I performed the other two. They didn't get “You Can't Do That” with me dressed as a guy, so I did it with Bob Seager's voice. Then, when I did “Baby, I'm Sorry” they were too busy cryin'. SO, I got back up and did that one to get them happy again. “Baby” will kill bar sales if it plays in bars. We've done learned that.”



He laughed, “That's funny.”



Dave said, “Let me speak with him.”



“Dave wants to speak with you.”



“Before you hang up, what's going on about the casinos?”



“I'm not sure. I'll have to call Sal and find out.”



“Ok”



I handed the phone back to Dave and pulled into the airport. Dave was still talking when I parked.



I opened the door and pulled the seat forward for Jerry to get out. Jaymes opened his door and got out and held the seat for Dave.



I went around and asked him. “Do you want to fly back, or drive?”



“I'd rather fly.”



“Ok, we'll get someone to drive this back.”



Dave got off the phone and said, “We're going to work on getting you the album made.”



“What's that look?”



“Something I'm thinkin'.”



“Care to talk about it?”



“Let me see if I can get the movie rights first.”



“Ok. Jaymes wants to fly back.”



“No problem. I'll get someone to drive it out there. Let me call.”



He made a call and said, “Set the alarm and leave your key in it's hiding spot. They'll be here.”



“We need to get a fuel card bought for Jess.”



He shook his head.



“No! I promised and I'm delivering it.”



“Call Steve and tell him to give the kid the money. Then, you can tell him that's for your reputation here.”



I dialed, “Hello?”



“It's me. I need to see if you'll give Jess the money for the fuel card.”



“Why?”



“Because I've not seen him and I gave my word.”



“He's thinking about staying.”



“IF he decides to go, pay for his Uhaul and money for fuel.”



“Ok, we'll see how that goes.”



“Thanks.”



“No problem.”



I hung up and said, “Ok, that's done. He thinks Jess is staying.”



Dave smiled, “That's funny.”



We got on the plane and Dave said, “Rhette, stay back here. I'll fly it with Jerry up there.”



“Ok”



Jerry went up front and Dave said, “Think about something for me.”



“What?”



“Think about playing that female part in that movie yourself.”



“Fuck! You gotta be shi....”



The look on his face told me he wasn't. “Just THINK about it.”



“Dave! She died!”



“Yeah. And he was with her.”



“It'd take me shaving my head!”



He smiled, “You're thinking about it alright.”



“I've got an egg head!”



“Just think about it. Now shut the door.”



“Fuck!”



Jaymes asked, “What's wrong?”



“Have you ever seen 'Love Story'?”



“No.”



“Damn!”



I shut the door and said, “It's shut Dave.”



I went back to the sofa and said, “Let me do what I can to tell you the story.”



“Why?”



“Dave wants me to be the lead in it with you.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah. Now, let's see if he can get it bought. I bet you he'll get it. Now, what I've got to do is think about how I want to direct the thing.”



“Why?”



I sat there and told him the story. All the way through, I thought about how it would need to be set and thought about it.



When I was finished, he said, “It sounds depressing as hell.”



“Yeah, but it's a very good movie. I think they released it in '73 or '74. If we could get it, it'd be an amazing role for you and guarantee you stardom.”



“And what about you?”



“Let me think on it. We might get Jilli to play the role.”



I sat there thinking about it and then, my phone rang. “Hello?”



It was my Mom. “Where have you been?!”



“New York and then South Carolina. We're on our way home now.”



“Flying?”



“Yeah.”



“Who's we?”



“Jaymes, Dave, Jerry, and myself.”



“Who's Jaymes?”



“Do you remember at the Y?”



“Yeah.”



“Him.”



“Ok, so why New York?”



“We went up to get photos taken of him. While up there, we saw Anna and El. Then, while I was up there, I wrote a couple of songs and performed them for Clive....Anna's manager. Well, I performed a lot of them.”



“Ok, why?”



“They think I'm good enough to sell records.”



“Are you wanting to do that?”



“It's snowballing. I'll tell you I'm good, but then, we went to South Carolina and found out Jess was screwing around. He vandalized the Rolls, so it's coming back to Missouri.”



“How bad is it?”



“He took the tires off it and put regular ones on.”



“Why?”



“He apparently didn't like them.”



“Who gave him that right?!”



“No one. On top of it, he decided to grow some pot in my potting shed.”



“Oh hell no!”



“I said the same thing. Instead of 30 days, he got told to pack. He's now staying over at Steve's.”



“Jail?!”



“No, house. They decided they like each other.”



“That's a pair!”



“Yup, but if it makes them happy, so be it.”



“Back to you singing. Who all says you're good?”



“Well, everyone who's heard the songs have loved them. Then, when we went to the Crab Shack, I performed them and everyone liked them. That's when I wrote another one.”



“Really?”



“It's a fun song for the end of the night.”



“Those do well.”



“Dave gave me the idea for the words. It's called, “One Road for the More!”



She laughed, “Oh no!”



“Needless to say, it's a hiccup song.”



She laughed, “You'll have to sing it for me!”



“Let me send it to you in an email and you can listen on your phone.”



“Ok, I like getting those.”



“Now, are you ready for the shocker?”



“What's that?”



“When I did this one, Anna and I talked about it and talked about it being the theme song for a redone 'Love Story'.”



“Oh! I loved that movie.”



“I know. Well, the song is called 'Baby, I'm Sorry!'. It's haunting in the melody and the words make everyone cry. It still needs polished, but I'll send you all three of them.”



“What's the third one?”



“It's called 'You Can't Do That To Me'. It's an upbeat song. It's fun and people like it. The video for it is going to be real cool...and Jaymes and I already did all the shots for it.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah. Now back to the 'Love Story' thing. What Dave and I decided was to get Jeff and Jaymes the rights bought for the old show, 'Courtship of Eddie's Father'.

We found he's good in front of the camera and then, when we were talking about the remaking of 'Love Story', I first thought about possibly casting Brad Pitt and his wife. And then, we thought about if they weren't available casting Jaymes and Ashley Judd. Then, Dave asked me to think about Jaymes and myself being in it.”



“With you as the girl?”



“Yeah.”



“Do you want to do that?”



“I need to ask you what you think about me being the most famous drag queen in the country without people knowing I'm in drag?”



“Oh!”



“Yeah, that's where I'm at. I'm afraid if I get locked into it, it's definitely going to take control, but it'd be easy for me to have privacy out of the persona.”



“That's true, but how far would you carry it?”



“It'd be me recording and me acting in the persona. No one would know and those who knew wouldn't divulge it. If they did, I'd either be revered or hated.”



“That'd be something else if you got the Oscar as leading actress.”



I laughed, “Would I be able to trade it in for leading actor if they found out? I mean...”



“Rhette, don't think that way! Think about making the ticket buyers get their money's worth.”



“But a lot of people would see me as ruining a good movie's reputation.”



“I see what you mean. What do you think?”



“I'm thinking on it. I'm thinking about doing something else. I'm hoping it's not available and that way, we can do what I'm thinking.”



“What are you thinking?”



“I'm thinking about making 'Write Me A Love Story' as the movie and taking the one character over to being the female lead.”



“Oh...that'd be good too. It's very similar.”



“Yeah, but it'd be mine with me getting director, acting, and screen play credits instead of saying I'm ruining a good movie.”



“Speak with them about that. I know if you've got reservations, it'd do you good to do something different. Just promise me if you go that route, you change over the roles in that Civil War one you wrote and make that into something. I really like that one.”



I chuckled, “You like all of them!”



She laughed, “Well of course, my baby wrote them, but even if I was reading them, I'd like that one.”



“Thanks.”



“Well, I wanted to find out where you were. What did you find out about New York?”



“I loved the first floor of the apartment but hated the second floor. Then, Dave bought me an island.”



“Where!”



“It's one of them which is out there by Ellis Island. There's a real good view of the Statue of Liberty.”



“Really?!”



“Yeah, but all the buildings on it are protected, so it could be a mess in preservation and restoring them.”



“That's not all bad. It'd be a helluva tax write off!”



“Yeah, but hardly not what I'd want with a house.”



“Why not? I think it'd be neat to have as something different.”



“It's like a dorm.”



“Hon, it might be well worth it if you chose to make it into something.”



“I'll think about it.”



“Well, I'll get off here. I'll give you a call when I get home.”



“Ok, I love you.”



“Love you too.”



I hung up and said, “Let me tell you the story of 'Write Me A Love Story'.”



“Why?”



“Because I'm not willing to play the role and then be accused of ruining a good movie.”



“Ok”



I told him the 'Write Me' story and he nodded, “I like that one better.”



“I do too. It'd be cool because we could put the waters anywhere like Gatlinburg, Tennessee, or a tourist place like that and have it something where after the movie was over, it'd have a business to it which would make us money.”



He smiled, “Why 'us'?”



“Because I'm thinking about making this so you've got something when I go to hand all I've got to someone at the end of this life.”



“Why me?”



“Because I like you. I think you'd learn to respect it and I sure don't think you'd take advantage of it.”



“What would I have to do?”



“Watch me run things and how I deal with Dave. Dave probably won't be around when I kick the bucket, but we'll probably have someone inside who will manage things as well for him.”



“Why?”



“Because you don't have any Italian blood and they're real big on that.”



“Ok, do you think we can find someone like that?”



“Yeah. I've already got some people in mind.”



“Then why not pick them?”



“Because I'm choosing who I want to have what I've got...not taking it based upon someone having blood.”



My cell rang. I answered it. “Hello?”



“Rhette.”



“Yeah Sal.”



“Here's what I know. Yous don't have anyone on yous. Those letters went out to everyone. It took some doin', but I found out they're targeting someone else. I know who it is and he's having some problems with me and everyone else. I'm thinking about arranging something so no one else gets any heat.”



“Ok, that's good. Now, I've got a problem.”



“What's that?”



“Dave shut down the big project. I need it and I need it bad. I'm not needing it so bad to pay eight billion for the son of a bitch. Someone's jackin' the prices out there and what was a billion three at the highest is now going to be eight billion. I'll shelve it if I gotta find all the materials at the prices I'm willin' to pay.”



“I don't blame you there. What's the prices hiked on?”


“Dave's flyin' the plane, but the leading materials in it are concrete and windows. Doors would be the third and then plumbing. You know as well as I all the interiors aren't worth sniffling over after that.”



“I'd be willing to bet you the concrete came in high. We got a guy out there who took it from forty a yard to over a hundred and forty.”



“Fuck, for that price, I'd build my own batch plant!”



“I thought that too, but it takes licensing and inspections. The man is in with the inspector and if it's not his concrete, no one's getting concrete work approved.”



“Are we seeing anything out of it?”



“They are out there, but I'll talk to the man. What are you willing to pay?”



“For concrete?”



“Yeah.”



“I'll pay seventy five at max. There's a helluva lot of it but that will take me to almost three billion on the price, I figure. I'm not talking about something real glamorous here, but something which is just a long long hotel.”



“Ok, let me see. IF I can get it to your price, when will you get it going?”



“If I can get it going, I'll put all my people on it. They need to be put on it again and I've got to have it. If you have any union people laid off, we sure can use them.”



“That sounds good. How many rooms?”



“As it's designed, there's about four thousand. I might be persuaded to go double that.”



“Damn!”



“It's plain jane. I'm not talking about something really fancy like down the strip. I'm talking about something which is like what we've got.”



“You've got seven floors out there.”



“Yeah, so if I go twelve on it, then it'll be a helluva lot of rooms.”



“It sounds like it!”



“We're thinking ahead. The economy is down, but that's the time to get it built. Then, when the economy is up, we'll be sitting there waiting.”



“That's a good plan.”



“Any news about that bitch?”



“Do you realize how much you're charging him after interest?!”



“Yeah, it's enough to break the bank, but what he saw in that money definitely could've been rolled over to make it.”



“Well, you're right there.”



“So I want that share.”



“What are you going to do with it?”



“Between you and I, I'm going to buy that railroad. I don't know who got it, but it's sure putting money into what Mona owned.”



“Is that prick of a brother of her's still alive?”



“I don't know. If he is, he's probably not doing anything but gloating and squandering it.”



“I'm for that.”



“I understand. It's where my heart is. It's not about what I think but what Mona's memory means to me. Otherwise, I'd be invested in other things.”



“It still sounds good.”



“What do you know about that island?”



“Nothing yet from legal. That's not surprising when you know how things are with the government.”



“Do me a favor.”



“What's that?”



“There are two natural thing which happen which can ruin a building faster than anything. One is fire and the other is water. Before the next cold snap, have the water turned on to all those places out there and let's see if we can be made to take some buildings down due to the mold and damage.”



He laughed, “You're so scheming it makes me smile! OF COURSE, I'll do that!”



“And if the ice should happen to get into all the electricals and burn it all down, then so be it. When they investigate, they'll find nature sure is a motherfucker.”



“How do you propose that happens?”



“Those back buildings are all so close together that if one of them goes, they're all going. It's easy to get the fire deemed electrical if sterno fluid is put on top of the electrical box. Once one is on fire, I'll be happy with no one seeing a thing until they're all going down.”



“We'll work on it.”



“That one up front is brick and concrete. The only thing bringing it down is a wrecking ball. With a good case of mold, it'll be deemed more costly than what it's worth to restore it.”



“But of course you'll have insurance on it.”



“Nope, I want it to look legit. No insurance and that way I can piss and moan about the money I'm out and how damned shoddy the government maintains things.”



“That'd work too!”



“We're about to land. He hasn't said, but I hear the engines slowing. I'll get off here.”



“Ok, one other thing.”



Dave's voice over the intercom said, “Rhette, we'll be landing in five minutes.”



He said, “I heard, you've got a good ear!”



“Yeah, I know this old plane. What's that you were wanting to talk about?”



“Frank said you gave him a right good butt chewing abou the way he's running that place of his.”



“Yeah...well, it wasn't a butt chewing so much as it was me telling him if he wants to stay in business, he needs to take it back to the way it was.”



“Very much so. Everyone had already decided it wasn't worth the drive to go out there and be grossed out.”



“I know the place has historical meaning, but what he was doing was just terrible. Thankfully, Dave told me before we went in and I chose to go cook. I ended up frying the noodles in order to make them better.”



“Oh God!”



“Yeah, he was soaking them in water which had them all soggy and slimy. I cooked and he actually acted like he didn't know what the brown sauce was!”



“What?!”



“Yeah, so I made it and he learned, but it was disgraceful. I told him if I didn't hear it got better, I'd never eat there again.”



He laughed, “He told me. He also asked me if that's what everyone thought and I told him it was. He's changing it.”



“Good.”



“He wants me to get word out.”



“You know I'm partial to good Italian food cooked right. Too many places SAY they're the old world style of cooking, but they're old world right out of a can. I hate that shit.

As you know, our restaurant out in Vegas is old world all the way down to flown in vegetables and tomatoes. The only other place I know who can make it worth anything is Tony in St. Louis, but he's using Meemaw's recipe.”



He chuckled, “And he's making a fortune off them!”



“Because he cooks right! Frank could do it, but he'd have to concentrate on not cutting so many corners...speaking of which, I never got my chicken from you!”



He laughed, “What do you want? I'll send it to you!”



“I want whole roasting chickens. If you have bone in skin on breast, I could use a few cases of those, but my big thing is rotisserie chicken. I want plump roasters which don't set me back a fortune.”



“How do you rotisserie them?”



“A lot of ways. I've got a bunch of recipes, but the latest is Worcestershire sauce and lemon pepper.”



“That sounds good.”



“Now here's the deal. I don't care if they're all rooster or what. The bigger the better, but I prefer having the pounds on them so I know how long to cook them.”



“Roosters get tough.”



“Not in the rotisserie. When they're in their own juice, they're wonderful and those breasts are awesome.”



“I'll leave that to you. I'll get you some sent. Where are you going to be?”



“For now, I'm going to be in Hannibal. Once I know how things are going with New York and the hotel out in Vegas, I'll know more. Now, what I'd like to ask of you is to find out how many singers you've got on your roles who owe you money.”



“Why?”



“Because we've got theaters out in Vegas which can book them for six weeks and get you some of your money back. I'll put them up and cover their expenses, but I need acts.”



“I'll get you guys a list.”



“I'll pick and choose from the list. Don't think I'm going to cherry pick them, but know I'm looking for acts from the seventies, eighties, and nineties.”



“Music?”



“Yeah, or comedy if they're real good. I'll need recognizable names.”



“I'll get them and what group they're with and all that.”



“Thanks.”



“It'd be doing me a favor.”



“No, it's just doing you right. You've helped me and I'll certainly remember it.”



“You don't know it, but you did me a helluva favor today with Frankie.”



“Before you and I put our names on him, we need to go see if he's changed for real. Well, we need to send someone out there and be sure without us being known we sent someone.”



“I'll do it this weekend.”



“Let me know.”



“I'll let you go.”



“Thanks Sal.”



I hung up and Jaymes, “You really talk with him like he's normal people.”



“He is a normal person. He's like me in the fact everyone treats him special for something which happened to him. His daddy was a big shot, so he got the title. He runs a lot like me, but when you ask him what he thinks he is, he'll tell you a grocer. That's why I call him Sal the grocer.”



“And he runs New York.”



“Yeah.”



“And you don't think he's somebody?”



“Nope. He's an average guy like you, or me. I'll tell you he'll respect you more if you treat him like he's an average guy. Well, that's the way you need to think of all the famous people.

IF they insist upon you treating them special, then get away from them. They're overstepping their sense of self worth and they'll be knocked down to where they belong.”



“Really?”



“Let me tell you a little bitty story. Back in the 80's and 90's, there was a lady who was a famous comedian. She got her own show and she got to be famous.

Along the way up, she kicked her family in the teeth and she made herself known as being a bitch to everyone. Then the show was over and suddenly, she's unemployed. She's trying to get a job and the only way she could get to be known in the gossips was for getting more plastic surgeries and for cramming her family's faces in the shit she was putting out about them.

Well, let me tell you something. In this world, sense of family is something you've got to have in order to make it big. If you don't think so, try getting by without it and you'll see you not getting anywhere.

When you look at who runs the business, you're going to see a lot of men who don't spend enough time with their families and yet, they love their mamas and daddies and still have the sense of family. They'll put someone out who gets all that negativity in order to put someone in who has the positive press.

You saw me make a hard decision. It'd mean a lot to me in order to have the opportunity to make that movie, but I'm not about to let the first shot I have serve as an anchor which would drag me down.

If you're ever in a quandary about how to go about things, give me a call and I'll tell you the truth. Hopefully, I'll have you aligned with good people already, but if you go with other people, always think about where you are and what your focus is.”



“What's that mean?”



“Hang on.”



Dave opened the cockpit door and said, “You're not ready to get out of here?”



“Yeah, but we're talking about image retention in business and professional worlds. That's why I'm turning down that opportunity.”



“Why?”



“Because I'd be seen as ruining a good movie even if I did a wonderful job with it. They'd see me as being a drag queen and you're not thinking far enough ahead. What if I got the Oscar as best actress and then, it's found out I'm a guy? Suddenly, we're having to give back a justly awarded award over a scandal.”



He nodded, “Ok, I don't like it, but I understand.”



“Dave, I've got a story which would make just as good of a story. I wrote it and it's just as good. No, it's not the same, but it is if it's done right.”



“Which one?”



“Write me'.”



“That's not even completed!”



“No, but it's all up here. It's not finished because it hurts to damned bad to write. It's bogged down because I know how it's going to go and it's drowning in the pain.”



“What if we got you someone to write it as you tell it?”



“It would work, but I'd have to get the characters back in my brain. There's a lot of them.”



“I realize that. We could pare it down.”



“Not really because the sequels are counting on those characters.”



He smiled, “You've got sequels to it?”



“Yeah, there's the main story and then the title carries where the main character goes on after the death of his partner and builds another love. The third part of it doesn't involve those characters, but the one character's son who is autistic.

Everyone doesn't want to think about autistics having feelings such as love, but they do. They feel it and they experience probably on a deeper level than many others do. I want to take the subject and put that love story out there.”



“Oh!”



“Yeah, not going to sell therefore we'll end it at the first movie...I know.”



“Whoa!”



“Dave, what if you or I were autistic? Would you want to see a character out there who gave them hope? Would you want to smile and think, 'Oh man, there's hope for me if that girl right over there who sees me will just notice me”...but, instead, she goes out with Biff who when he's pissed does the Biff bop where she gets knocked flying.”



“I'm not ruling it out! Damn! You got all defensive!”



“No, I'm fighting for those who don't get a voice in the mainstream media. In the 90's we had Garth Brook's brother. In the 00's, we had Sarah Palen's kid.

Let's give them a love story. I'll fund it and it doesn't even have to be gay themed. Just let me have it.”



“Ok Rhette! We're going to have a hard time casting it.”



“Bullshit. For the first movie, we'll have Jaymes and myself. Unfortunately Jaymes' character dies, but in the second, the leading man has a son who is autistic.

That in itself for anyone going into a relationship is going to be a deal breaker, but we could take that challenge head on and let folks know not everyone is perfect and has perfection about them going into a relationship.

I'd rather have a man who treats me damned good with an autistic kid than a man who is all about himself and that mirror. Lord knows he's not getting perfection with me, so why should I expect it?!”



He chuckled, “Rhette, I do believe I found something you're passionate about! Step off that pundant and get off the plane already!”



I chuckled, “Fuck you too!”



Jaymes laughed and we got off the plane. I hit the starter on the truck and it started automatically.



Dave said, “That's a damned nice truck.”



“Do you guys want to go out and look at the property where the house will be?”



“Not tonight. I'm going to take him on out to Vegas.”



I turned, “Jaymes, why don't you take the truck on to your Dad's. I'm going to go to Vegas with them. I want to see the casinos and hotel.”



“Are you sure?”



“Yeah, if you want, tell your Dad I'll be back tomorrow and we'll talk. You be well rested because we're going to go work out HARD.”



“Ok.”



He smiled and went to the truck. He got in and I said, “Jaymes!”



“Yeah!”



“Here's the keys. Your Dad's probably not going to appreciate hearing a diesel run all night.”



“Oh!”



He ran back and got the keys. I asked, “Do you need money?”



“I've still got that twenty you gave me.”



“Ok, be careful and know...I'll be here early.”



He ran off and Dave chuckled, “You damned near said those words instead of 'I'll be here early'!”



“Yeah, but I'm not ready. If it were anyone, it'd be him, but I'm not ready.”



“He wants it to be.”



We saw Jaymes drive off and I said, “Ok, let's get on the jet.”



Dave chuckled, “And he's getting misty eyed too!”



“Dammit Dave!”



We got on and in no time, we were flying Westward.



When we landed in Vegas, we taxied over to the Ginorocity hangar. Dave pointed, “IF you want one, there's the fleet. All of those are provided by the resort.”



“Ok, I'll look.”