I am hell on a keyboard

I thought I'd let you know the way it goes for me and keyboards.

When I first started writing, I went through eight keyboards in two months. Yes, I type that damned hard when I'm pounding out a story...and yes, it's a throwback of the old manual keyboard I used to have in college...and sue me if you can't remember what a manual keyboard looks like...much less a typewriter.

After that, I got one of those foldable, bendable, spillproof, rubber mat thingys which calls itself an "indestructable" keyboard. It lasted almost three months.

THEN, I got a laser keyboard. It's a real cool thing in concept. You put a fake keyboard down and then, lasers from a head scan it while you are "typing" away on it.
In principle, it's lovely. In principle, I paid damned near seven hundred dollars for the fuckin' thing only to find out the batteries for the laser head are double AA and they stop working every other day. I bought rechargable, and yet, it was such a fuckin' headache, it's now on my permanent computer at the house in South Carolina....the one seen at the head of this blog.

For my laptop, I bought a keyboard made with Microsoft's name on it which is a USB one. It's real nice, but as I said, I'm harder than hell on things.

First of all, Campbell's Tomato Soup. I made some and getting ready to sit and type when trip, spill, splash, it's all over the damned keyboard.

What's cool about this thing is it's "Spill resistent". I go over and take the hose to it at the sink and then use a blow dryer on it and voila, it's good as new.

I continued on with the thing, and let me tell you I sort of cringed when I paid $20 for it at Walmart, but it's outlasted everything else by months...with a plural on that... and I'm happy with it, so if you're considering one, jump on in there and don't be shy.

Here's where I am now. If I took a photo of the keyboard, you'd see a fuckin' mess. I'll tell you the story and then, you'll just cringe when I tell you how it went.

When I write, I have my own little zen circus going on....soft light...soft music...candle light...dog at my feet...the whole repertoire.

What's wrong with that? The dog wanted out. I stood up and unwittingly knocked the fucking glade candle thingy over. Guess where it landed? Needless to say, it's a fuckin' mess.
So far, I've taken a nut picker to it to get the wax off. Then, I've taken the keys off to get the wax off and out from under them. Now the keys are in the dishwasher in a bunch of old socks of mine going through a cycle.
Why? Because the dishwasher doesn't get so hot it melts them, but it does get hot enough it melts the wax off. Rather than having the wax clog the dishwasher, I'm having the socks absorb it...well, that's the concept and yes, I'm aware the socks will be soaked and can't absorb the wax, but let's hope something happens so the wax comes off.
What's cool is this... The hair dryer and the nut picker with a paper towel wrapped around it got everything else done. It's shinier than it was, so let's hope the keys come out ok...and yes, I'm posting this using the laserboard.

So, when you think you've got clumbsiness about you, realize I've got it too.